Madonna Might Replace Simon Cowell on Idol

... Rumor has it that American Idol may replace one self-righteous meanie with another self-righteous meanie. UK "newspaper" The Sun is reporting that producer Simon Fuller is eyeing Madonna as a replacement for loudmouth Simon Cowell. And so Madonna now joins the list of candidates rumored to replace Cowell that includes Elton John, E.T., the corpse of Calvin Coolidge, and a dirty sock. [The Sun]

... I can't even turn on the TV in my apartment during the summer because it's so hot (global warming, it's real!) but in case you do and want to watch some stuff on CBS, here are some premiere/return dates. Flashpoint, that Canadian-American collaboration, returns June 4 at 9pm. Three Rivers gets burned off on Saturdays at 8pm starting June 5. Spoiler alert: It was canceled. And Big Brother kicks off July 8 at 8pm and will air three nights a week on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, because it costs like $25 to make. [The Live Feed]

... Tina Fey won another comedy award, this time something called the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. The Baby Mama star quipped, "I assume Betty White was disqualified for steroid use." Ha ha! It's that kind of Jay-Leno-style monologue hilariousness that makes her a deserving winner! [Associated Press]

... You know, for all this talk about epic season finales, you guys sure aren't doing your job and watching them. Both 24 and Law & Order said goodbye forever (FOREVER!) on Monday with a 2.7 and 1.9 rating among adults, respectively. Don't blame me, pal. The Bachelorette was on! [NY Times]

... Speaking of epic finales, the Wikipedia article for most-watched series finales has been updated, and if you look way past Cheers, Home Improvement, ALF, Designing Women, Major Dad, Kate & Allie, and Mr. Belvedere, you may just find Lost. [Wikipedia]

... Let's try this one more time, people. Here's yet another chance to watch Friday Night Lights, one of the greatest family television dramas on today. ABC Family has acquired the rights to rerun the show, and will start with Season 1 in September. Watch and thank me later. [ABC Family via press release]

... And finally, just so we're clear, I didn't actually watch The Bachelorette last night. Okay? It was just someone who looked like me. Yeah, that's it. [Me]

Follow writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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