“Who’s the Horse and Who’s the Rider?” asked this week's episode title. Well, clearly, the rider isn’t Ike Evans.
Klein has been a busy guy, uncovering quite a few skeletons in Ike’s flooded limestone quarry, and, you know, rotting waterlogged corpses. Ike claimed that lots of people dump things in the quarry, that he had no control over that and ultimately, the quarry was something he had little concern over anyway. Suck it, Klein.
I hate to say it, Ike, but things aren’t looking so good.
Ben invited that Jesus- (and loose women-) loving government official over for a game of cards in his cabana and learned that Ike never gave him any of Ben’s $100,000 investment toward the legalization of casino gambling. Congratulations senator (or whatever you are), you get to live another day.
Ike, however, landed in hot water. Ben followed up his card game with a pool party. He didn’t invite, so much as demand, that Ike make an appearance, and like a dutiful and terrified little house elf, Ike graced Casa Diamond with his presence. Ben called Ike into his office for a little chat, where he assured him that “people will die tonight” if he didn’t get his money back.
While Ike and Ben got confrontational, so did Danny and Stevie. Danny threw the infamous pornaroids in Danny’s face and said he was sick of cleaning up after him. Stevie pointed out that he fixed the card games, hired the hookers, and paid off the cops while Danny was off playing Joe College on Ike’s dime. They nearly came to blows, but Danny ultimately resolved to help Stevie avoid death by dismemberment, saying that he hoped Lily was worth it.
Stevie responded, “Was Mercedes?”
What? That doesn’t even make sense, Stevie! There’s a big difference between dating a single woman whose dad isn’t wild about the relationship and banging a married woman whose husband is a psychotic mob boss just LOOKING for an excuse to kill somebody. I can’t believe he’s supposed to be the street-smart one.
Although to be fair, once Danny did some detective work and figured out that the spider-burglar and the extortionist were both Miramar Playa’s very own Divin’ Dave, Stevie managed to clean up his own mess. Sort of.
He tried to intimidate Dave into backing down, but that whole scene was practically a waste of airtime. Dave was a professional. Stevie was...well, he was Stevie. He drove up in a little red car and spent half of this episode baked, how intimidating could he be?
Unfortunately for Dave, Ben Diamond didn’t take kindly to his breaking-and-entering routine and since he didn’t play nice with Stevie, Stevie decided to turn his knowledge of the burglar’s identity over to Diamond. At the insistence of Diamond’s henchmen, Divin’ Dave took the ultimate dive from the roof of the Miramar Playa. He missed the pool by thiiiiis much.
So Stevie got to live another day, the government official got to live another day, and Ike went begging the in-laws so that he too could enjoy breathing oxygen. Earlier in the episode, Ike had tried to get Meg to buy more shares off of him, but she refused. After his little sit-down with Ben, Ike returned to beg for a hundred grand. He swore that he’d pay her back and told her how her father only sold him the beachfront property that the hotel sits on because he signed away the inheritance his children received from their mother. Apparently Molly was in on it because she “believed in the dream,” but I’m calling B.S. because that’s COLD, man. COLD.
Still, Meg gave him the money and Ike got to scratch his name off of Diamond’s hit list. For now.
And just in case Ike wasn’t having a hard enough time balancing his ever-increasing plate of lies, lies, dirty lies, Klein tracked down Judi Silver (hey lady!), who didn’t go to California after all and decided to dye her hair red because she apparently doesn’t understand how disguises work.
– Before his untimely demise, we caught a quick glimpse of Divin’ Dave teaching the young'uns at the hotel how to swim. It was so creepy.
– I don’t know what the song at the end of the episode was. I tried, but my research skills just weren’t there. Anyway, I liked it, and in general I really like the music in this series, including the score.
– Who do you think “Sy”—the guy Lily called in Chicago—was? Rich uncle? Ex-lover? Rival mob boss? Undercover police? Wouldn’t that be totally badass if Lily was an informant or something?
– While I can’t blame Stevie for siccing Diamond on Divin’ Dave, I can’t help but wonder if he maybe forgot the minor detail of Dave having the pornaroids somewhere on his boat. What if Diamond’s goons get nosy? What if the police check the place out? Then again, we’ve already determined that Stevie isn’t the brightest bulb in the Miramar Playa marquee.