Get up everybody and sing, because CBS has officially revealed the cast of Survivor: Blood vs. Water!
The granddaddy reality show's first family edition (why else would Sister Sledge be on the playlist?) features an unusual and varied lineup: former winners and fan favorites, semi-famous "loved ones," a few returning players so unmemorable we had to Google them, and one nasty bigot we only wish we could forget.
The 10 pairs—couples, siblings, and parent-kid duos—include three(-ish) winners: Tina Wesson (Australia), Aras Baskauskas (Panama—Exile Island), and... drumroll please... Big Brother 12 champ Hayden Moss, a member of the CBS family who also happens to be dating One World's spectacularly ditzy Kat Edorsson.
Moss knows a thing or two about alliances: Nicknamed "The Animal," he cruised to Big Brother victory as part of the Bragade (sic—that's how these nimrods spelled it on their hand-crafted T-shirts) quartet.
Another returning winner—if you count his million-dollar fan-favorite paycheck—is Rupert "Every Day Is Talk Like a Pirate Day" Boneham, who's joined by his wife, Laura. Raise your hand if you're still occasionally treating your eyes with a cocktail of bleach and Visine after witnessing their never-ending, slobbery loved ones reunion makeout. (He had drool dripping from his beard!)
Season 27 also marks the return of the show's biggest loser: Colton Cumbie, the super-villain from One World who called one tribemate "ghetto trash," ridiculed another with dwarfism, and cited his black housekeeper as proof that he isn't racist.
The good news? Not a single member of the Hantz family is represented this go-round. That's saying something, considering how many of them litter the reality TV landscape these days.
Survivor: Blood vs. Water premieres Wednesday, September 18 at 8pm on CBS. In the meantime, check out our photo gallery of the cast, including our first impressions of each pair, each player's vital stats, and more!