New Buffy Movie, No Joss Whedon

... S***storm coming in three... two... one... Warner Bros. has announced that it's rebooting the original 1992 Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie that starred Kristy Swanson and served as a backbone for the wildly popular cult series of the same name. However, the new movie will not feature the franchise's lifeblood Joss Whedon, who ascended to the status of Lord Creator in many fans' eyes as screenwriter for the film and showrunner for the series. Instead, a young writer named Whit Anderson will pen the movie. Go ahead and speculate on all things Buffy in the comments section, below. [LA Times]

... Jorge Garcia, who played Hurley in Lost, is headed to another island. Garcia will star in J.J. Abrams' upcoming drama Alcatraz, about the famous island prison in the San Francisco Bay. The show will feature some sci-fi elements, with FBI agents trying to figure out why Alcatraz prisoners and guards reappear in the present day after being missing for 30 years. Garcia will play Dr. Diego Soto, a hippie dude who happens to be the world's foremost expert on the prison. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Do you watch ABC? Then you are a girl, according to this New York Magazine article. The network is attempting to inject some testosterone into its female-heavy viewership with a project in development based on comedian Jay Mohr's autobiography "No Wonder My Parents Drank." Mohr will star in the comedy about *surprise!* a guy raising kids. [Vulture]

... Cartoon Network has canceled Unnatural History, the network's first hour-long live-action show. That's what you get, stupid network that names itself one thing and then does a completely different thing! [Deadline Hollywood]

... You loved Planet Earth. You loved Life. Next, you will love History of the World, the just-announced documentary series from the BBC and Discovery Channel. As the title doesn't imply, we'll see humanity evolve over 20,000 years in a series of eight episodes. No word on whether Mel Brooks will be involved. [New York Times]

... Julia Louis-Dreyfus will star in Showtime's Veep, playing a senator who happens to land in the post of Vice President. No word on when this will be out. [Deadline Hollywood]

... For some reason Fox announced its mid-season schedule right after I walked out the door on Friday to drown my sorrows with another typical weekend of crying on the couch while sipping on bottle of Midori. So I'm sorry if you already know about this. But here's the big deal: Fox is moving Fringe to Fridays. What the fffffffffffffff!? Fringe on Fridays? First Supernatural, now Fringe? Is my taste in television shows that bad? Ugh! Oh and some show called American Idol is moving to Wednesdays and Thursdays, if you've ever heard of it, Running Wilde might be dead, Breaking In has been slotted for Wednesdays, and Mixed Signals will air on Tuesdays. [LA Times]

Follow writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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