New Girl “Eggs” Review: Panic at the Baby-Makin' Disco (Plus Zombies!)

New Girl S02E09: “Eggs”

A few weeks ago, with “Menzies,” New Girl devoted an entire episode to the tired old joke about women going crazy during PMS. This week, it was baby madness.  I keep hoping that this current obsession with ladybits will burn itself out, especially because it’s almost impossible not to fumble such storylines somewhere over the course of an episode. I’m also holding out for a prostate exam episode since we’ve gotten two installments in the past month addressing the sucky side of womanhood. I think it’s the guys’ turn to resent their biology.

The ticking of Jess and Cece’s biological clocks suddenly became louder when their friend Sadie and her wife, Melissa, announced that they were expecting a baby. Like so many conversations do, this one derailed a bit, going from “YAY BABY!” to “Hey ladies, did you know that 90 percent of your eggs are GONE by the time you’re 30?” Wow. Way to ruin this beautiful moment, show.

The problem with “Eggs,” outside of the vaguely sexist notion that if a woman hasn’t procreated in a timely manner, then she has FAILED as a woman, is that the story attempted to take a rather complicated matter and simplify it with the addition of a stopwatch. The 90 percent statistic came from a 2010 study done by the University of St. Andrews and Edinburgh University, so it’s not total crap, but at the same time, ONE study is hardly anything to panic over. I mean, look at chicken eggs: They’re good for you, they’re bad for you, the white part is okay but the yolk will kill you, etc. etc. blah blah blah.

Regardless, Cece and Jess freaked out a little. Neither woman is really in an ideal place in life to have a kid. Jess is just coming out of a period of unemployment and probably hasn’t even really settled into her new job. She has no romantic relationships to speak of, or at least, none so serious or stable that she’s ready to raise a child.

Does Cece have every right to be upset about the state of her eggs? Absolutely. But is the correct response to her predicament to hurry up and have a baby RIGHT NOW? No. It’s a more complicated matter than that. Does it become harder to conceive as a woman gets older? Sure. Are there additional health risks involved with “older” pregnancies? Yes, there are. But we also live in the 21st century and there are options. Frozen eggs, fertility treatments, adoption—the revelation that Cece’s egg count is on the low side does not condemn her to the sad, lonely life of a barren spinster.

Furthermore, fertility isn’t an exclusively female problem. Cece’s “Make me a guy so I don’t have to worry about this,” is telling of society’s default take on procreating, that it's a “female thing”, but biologically, being a dude wouldn’t necessarily save Cece from difficulty. Low sperm count, a tube blockage, or varicocele (enlarged veins that lead to elevated sperm temperature), among other things, can all complicate baby-makin’ for the menfolk.

I’m pretty sure this is all just a conspiracy to get the good ship Cece/Schmidt sailing again. The characters' current situations are sort of mutation of their Season 1 pregnancy scare; in “Kids,” Cece fretted over a possible unplanned pregnancy while Schmidt contemplated marrying her “to do the right thing,” only to come to the conclusion that he sincerely liked her and was kind of okay with it. He was just as surprised to realize how much he cared about Cece this time around, too.

Schmidt's 50 Shades of Awkward relationship with his boss, Emma, came to a cordial end when, well, the sex just wasn’t that good. No, not even when he met with Sadie for some pointers and dressed like Emma’s ultimate fantasy: a Studio 54 busboy. She lamented that even though she saw her divorce as a chance to indulge in new experiences, her arrangement with Schmidt just wasn’t working. As much as she didn’t want to, she was going to have to re-enter the dating pool. Schmidt got nostalgic for the good ol’ days of sex with Cece, when everything was easy and they just connected and the sex was amazing.

“That’s called love, you idiot.” I like Emma. I wouldn’t mind her popping in from time to time to talk some gruff sense into Schmidtty.

While Schmidt’s “problem” (which isn’t necessarily a problem at all) isn’t grounded in cold, hard facts of life like Cece’s, their issues serve to complement one another and could very easily pave the way toward them eventually getting back together. With Cece contemplating where she currently is in life and where she wants to go, and Schmidt coming to terms with the fact that as much as he wanted to pretend that his relationship with Cece was shallow and meaningless, he actually loved her, Schmidt and Cece are in an ideal place to take an honest look at their relationship.

It seems that the only loft-dweller who found some semblance of stability and purpose this week was Nick, who finally finished his zombie novel. It was a big moment for him. Z Is for Zombie was terrible, but hey, he finished! (And rough drafts are always terrible, man, don’t sweat it.)

Deciding he needed some real life Ernest Hemingway experiences—or at least, what he assumed were Hemingway experiences—Nick dragged poor, sleep-deprived Winston to the zoo for some adventure. Of course, his adventure seemed to be more of an exercise in procrastination than inspiration, especially once the flask made an appearance, but then again, Z Is for Zombie DID feature an ode to a zombie zoo, so I don’t think it was a complete waste of time. Inspiration comes from weird places.


What did you think of this episode?



NOTES


– One-liner of the night: Schmidt’s entire innuendo-laden monologue to Sadie about his (attempted) methods for pleasuring Emma. I wonder how many takes were required to get through that with a straight face? Everybody gets a churro!

Z Is for Zombie sounds terrible, but I agree with Schmidt’s demand that Winston never stop reading it aloud.

Comments (77)
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I gotta just say that this was one of the most fun reviews to comment on on this site in weeks. In spite of... okay, partially because of all the whiney bitches.
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It has been fun! But would you include MaryAnn in the "whiny bitch" category?
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No, I do not find her to be whiny or bitchy at all, but she is fun. Further, my lawyers suggest that I decline to comment on whether my previous use of the word bitch was a word for an animate creature of a certain nature or a synonym for complaint. I love the English language.
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Can't I be whiny, bitchy, AND fun? Labels are so RESTRICTIVE.
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I dunno, it IS kind of rude when you insert yourself into a conversation about you that is going on in your presence like you aren't there. But I'll have to think about it. Ironically, pretty young girls get away with more so they have to work harder for 70% of the bitchiness-credit.

Astute observers will have noticed I just stuck MaryAnn with two more labels. If you're one of those, reward yourself with a cookie.
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Haha! It is pretty bitchin'!
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I think there's so much more to this episode than this review (which sort of resembles a diary every time). I think Nick's storyline is so good, the fact that he got drunk at the zoo out of all places just show how sad he is. A zoo is a place where kids have fun. It's like Nick is trying to regain all things he never finishes by screwing up his square one.

At least if you want to make a whole recount and "review" sounds like a feminist rant, make it funny. Ask Price for help there.
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OK here it is... I present Z is for Zombie, by Nick Miller:

No one in the sleepy mountain town of Rythm sic City knew what the meteor meant, but the one thing Mike Junior did have was a whole lot of rhytms sic.

"Woah, what bit me in the face?", Mike Junior said to his dad, Mike Senior, who sucks. Mike Senior sucks a whole bunch, much more than his neighbor Robbo. Zombie zoo, zombie zoo. Who let dem zombies out that damn zombie zoo?
"Uh oh, watch your back Laura!"

Word Search
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HAHAHAHAHA! Even funnier the second time!
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I laughed hysterically through this episode. One of my favorites. Between Schmidt's "vagenius" comments and Winston reading "zombie zoo, zombie zoo..." I think I stopped breathing. No other show on tv right now makes me laugh as hard (except maybe Raising Hope.)
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I want to read Z is for Zombies in full!! Someone get on that, please.

As much as I think you're right about the faults of this episode, I still think it's great that I can sit down on a weeknight and watch a full hour of comedies that do 'female' humor- where women are damn funny and plots and jokes often revolve around women's experiences. I just like seeing bits of my life reflected on the screen, and this seems to be a pretty new phenomenon (for me at least). Yeah, two episodes in a row about PMS and baby making is a bit much, and some of the way they approached it was problematic, but they were funny as hell and sooort of captured the experience. I mean, who COULDN"T relate a little to the Menzies episode- up until Jess started acting crazy? So, while I criticize how New Girl handles some topics, I'm still really glad it exists.
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the topics aren't the problem - it's Jess.
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How so? I realize that Zooey Deschanel isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I like Jess just fine.

And if you really get down to it, neither the topics nor the fictional characters are the problem- it's the writers who create these scenarios and determine the character's actions.
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isn't Zooey the creator? anyway, it's not that i dislike jess, it's more that for some reason she isn't the funny jess anymore..
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Fair enough.
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oh, woops got that one wrong then :) still don't like her performance in the last couple of eps.
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She is most definitely not. Elizabeth Meriwether is the creator/writer/producer.
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Awesome and Hilarious Episode!
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Oh man!? The reviewer did a really great job of taking the fun out of this episode. I mean I am really happy i saw it before i read this. There was a lesbian couple in the center of this episode, a lesbian couple having a child thru a sperm donor, there was a woman talking about how much she loves boobs, three really insecure dudes talking out their feelings, one going to a gynecologist for advice about how to best pleasure a woman, there is a sexist-jar and so on... Sure there are som sexist stuff there, but it is most of the time there for us to laugh at, not analyse...

Well, I really liked Schmidt long losing Nemo monolouge, Nick is just terrific, Winston is starting to live up to his potential. Cece is not quite there yet with the rest of them, not crazy enough somehow and Jess was acting her funny ass off.

Favorite dialog:

Nick: Did you put the microwave in the trash?
Jess: Yes.
Nick: Why would you do that?
Jess: Microwaves zap things! I could zap my insides!
Nick: You took my microwave away! It's what makes burritos delicious!
Jess: You care more about your burritos than my children, Nick?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot.

(just loved how her voice almost cracked here when she said: "You care more about your burritos than my children, Nick? ")
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Schmidt: See that's exactly what I do I call that losing Nemo.
Sadie: Well a more advanced move would be, you know what I'll show you sort of come in this way.
Schmidt: No no i see what you're doing that asymmetry right there that's crucial because what I'll do then is I'll go outside, get the paper, then shake the neighbor's hand.
Sadie: Interesting
Schmidt: Then what I'll do is tie a bow on it because it's birthday time. Then get on stage and collect my Oscar and say thank you to the people, thank you to the people and then get back down off stage and get everybody into the sharing circle. Right down there in the sharing circle and then *slams hand on desk* spike the volleyball. Then what I like to do is arrive at the bridge, meet the troll, and then answer his riddles three. Then what we do is we're dancing. We're just dancing. We'll dance for a while. We'll dance 'til you can't dance anymore. Dance 'til you can't dance, any, more. Then everybody. Gets. Churro. *clicks tongue*
Too funny not to share.
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There it is in all it's glory. :D
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I don't think this show intends for the viewer to be caught up in the feminine issue. If you are then it's kind of like looking at a Rorschach for anyone with ovaries. I mean it's a 30 minute joke. I just thought it was a typical Jess overreaction to a bit of news that's neither bad nor good. Just have to say Schmidt is by far the best in this show I was in stitches at his talk on technique. He honestly gets all the best lines.
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Again, didn't really like Jess' performance in this episode. last couple of episodes I really started to dislike her. Such a shame, she was an awesome zombie Woody Allen in the halloween episode.
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Oh god, another sexism topic... We had that FTW/WTF one, recently there was one on GameSpot as well.

"outside of the vaguely sexist notion that if a woman hasn't procreated in a timely manner, then she has FAILED as a woman". The episode was nowhere near that notion. I'm a man (despite what scribblings on some desks in my high school used to say) and I would be as equally shocked if I knew that at this moment in my life I'm close to being infertile. That means there is chance I won't be able to have a child that's biologically mine.. How HORRIBLE is that?! Why then it's not ok for Jess and Cece to react the way they did?

Reading the comments and the article it sometimes feels that if you're a woman it's almost wrong to say out loud that you want to give birth one day and be a mother because it would be anti-feminist or succumbing to patriarchal notions of society or something...

I understand where this is coming from, but honestly, the last issue with New Girl was non-existent and this one is the same.
If anything, it's sexist the way Cece and Jess talked about men! Men are nothing more than wireless gadgets and sci-fi and basically care-free life?
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I really enjoyed reading these posts by you and FringeFanatic. Well said, you guys.

Ok, now that I have expressed that. You two can go back to your wireless gadgets and sci-fi, while I await for the day I am fertilized (at the same time discreetly enjoying wireless gadgets and sci-fi). :/
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You're right. Gender stereotypes are wrong in all shapes, sizes and sexes. Some women want to have children, some don't. Some men are into sci-fi and everything wireless (guilty), some men aren't.

I didn't agree with the notion that Nick accidentally punching Jess was "troubling". I didn't agree with Jess's PMS being sexist, when the show clearly stated she was just using the "red devil" as an excuse to act irrationally emotional because she was depressed (as was Winston).

But I think this episode was sexist (to women AND men).

Excerpt from MaryAnn's review: "Does Cece have every right to be upset about the state of her eggs? Absolutely. But is the correct response to her predicament to hurry up and have a baby RIGHT NOW? No. It's a more complicated matter than that."

Yes it is. And this episode DID make it seem like if a women's biological clock starts ticking down then she better start the baby making, and fast. That's sexist. Cece and Jess talking about men not being burdened with these heavy, life-creating problems and generally being care-free is sexist.

New Girl kind of blew it. Thank god for Nick's zombie novel.
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Hmmm, I didn't get the feeling that she was going to go and have babies right away. Besides it's kinda true, since if she wants to have babies, she needs to hurry. I don't see sexism in that, I see a possibility that has a time limit. If you want that possibility to become reality you have to hurry. Apparently Cece wants that. Maybe you are trying to say that her wanting necessarily to give birth is sexist? Or that both females characters of the show want to give birth?

Agree with the men thing. Wrote so myself. It was a generalization on New Girl's part, yes. But it kinda is true :) I myself do like wireless gadgets and sci-fi :D And men don't usually have to worry so much since biologically they are able to procreate for much longer than women. Of course there are many problems that men could have in this department as well.

I know it doesn't look good, me being male, but I actually now see more sexism with regard to men and not women in this episode.. Strange.
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"Maybe you are trying to say that her wanting necessarily to give birth is sexist?"

I'm pretty sure I said exactly the opposite of that.

And yes, we saw two women who already conceived because of their dwindling eggs, one woman who freaked out over the possibility of her dwindling eggs, and another woman who seems to be taking a serious look at her life choices because of her dwindling eggs (that's the last time I use that phrase, I swear).

It would have been nice if someone said, "Hey, babies don't define you as a woman. And if you do want kids and are 30-years-old, then you don't necessarily need to have them RIGHT NOW."

I'm a man, too, and I perceived this episode as sexist all around. But I guess opinions and stuff.
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It didn't state it. It implied it. And according to the show, it's because she's 30 that's there's a chance she won't be able to have kids later.

But as a couple of dudes, I think we've said enough. If we don't stop now, the next thing you know we'll be forming an all men's panel on female sexism in TV shows.
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My bad. I see your point now but I still cannot see how the episode stated that babies define you as a woman. And I didn't see the notion that if you're 30 and a woman you have to have babies right now. The lesbian couple just had them. Jess' eggs are fine and she won't be panicking to get pregnant really soon. Only Cece MAY want to have the right now. And it's not 'cause she's 30 but because there's a chance she won't be able to later.

But I agree that it would have been nice if a more opposite opinion would have been had by someone. Someone who didn't want to give birth at all maybe.

Opinions and stuff :)
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I think this episode is a set up for Hannah Simone's actual pregnancy. She looks pregnant to me. Am I the only one that thinks this? I guess I know she will not have a child on the show it would change the flow but it seems like a set up.
Second point it seems Jess's subtle reaction to Winston's offer to father her child was a little racist. Schmidt and Nick said the baby would be beautiful. Jess's reaction was she would never even consider that option.
Third point I am a shy girl with no girlfriends but, wow, do women really talk like this to one another? How vulgar!
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I think to say her reaction is "a little racist" is stretching it. She had just received two very enthusiastic offers from men she isn't the least bit attracted to. And all she said was "What"... how is that racist?

I didn't feel that the issue was with him being black, but with him being Winston.
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She would never consider that option the same way she would never consider Schmidt's or Nick's offer either. They're her roommates and friends and she finds them all gross probably.
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That's a better way to look at it.
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I don't think the show had any intention of saying that having babies is the most important thing in a woman's life. They were just depicting a very natural reaction from a woman who finds out she may have problems having a baby if she waits too long.

Episode reviews should be funny. That's one of the main reasons we read them, especially when they're about a comedy. Your reviews seem more like recaps.

They should also be critical, but more in a way of character development, consistency and overall quality. Your criticism , on the other hand, is more focused on judging the characters (in terms of your own moral beliefs).

I know you probably won't care (or even read this?), but it would be nice if you tried to add more humor in your reviews, be less judgy and stop with the analogies to your own personal life.
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Okay, lovely, an uninformed opinion. If you want to have an informed opinion, listen to last week's "Totally Tubular" (dumb name) podcast and listen to Price and Jen talk about how it is hard to write about comedies and be funny, which is why they don't cover them very much. Price recaps dramas because it is easier to add jokes where none exist. With a comedy, in theory, the comedy writers have already made the jokes. So, your expectations of reading a review of a comedy for the funny is the opposite of what it should be if you were well informed on the topic. You want more jokes, read a recap of a drama. That's just the way of things. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
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Alright, I see your point, but that's not always true. Tim's reviews of Community, for example, were always hilarious,
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So, about eggs. A woman is born with a couple MILLION of them. 400,000ish are left by puberty. So 80% of them are gone before her first period. To say 90% of them are gone by the time a woman is 30 is probably technically correct, but that doesn't make it significant or relevant in any way. That leaves 200,000. The real number is eggs that mature. Only 0.1% ever do that.
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400 babies!! Aaaah!!
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you only need one anyway to get pregnant :') I'm guessing no-one wants 200.000 babies :P
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I agree with you 100%. My main thoughts during the episode were along the lines of "Babies aren't everything in a woman's life!" and "Why the hell are sci-fi movies and wireless gadgets a topic reserved for men's conversation?!"
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Does this mean I can use my sci-fi movie pick-up lines?
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Sci-Fi movie pick-up lines are complicated. There's so much out there. If you don't get each others references, love connection missed. It can even happen with the big ones that should be a given. Sometimes, people just have this peculiar little holes in their cultural education. Not sci-fi, but here's a relevant example. I know a girl who has read the hobbit at least a dozen times and never read the lord of the rings. Total geek in every other way, missing this one really basic experience because she found it too dense when she was a young girl and never went back to it.
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Ah, but here's the thing, if they don't get my stupid pick-up line involving Boba Fett killing Jar Jar Binks, then it's not meant to be. But if they DO get it, and laugh despite its stupidity, then you know there's a connection.

You should really hound your friend to give LOTR another shot, by the way. I've got dozens of Tom Bombadil pick-up lines.
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I've never actually sat down and watched The Phantom Edit, but I understand if you take out the parts that suck there's a good movie in there somewhere.
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All things considered, the lightsaber fight between Qui-gon, Anakin and Darth Maul is one of the finest fights in the series. I know it's a bad movie, but one helluva fight.
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All of the hardcore Star Wars fans watched The Phantom Menace to our everlasting dismay.

If she boycotted the next two movies, then she'd be out of both our leagues.
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What if they boycotted the new trilogy? Out of your league?

Why do I have the sudden urge to say "I saw her first"?
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"Why the hell are sci-fi movies and wireless gadgets a topic reserved for men's conversation?!"

Lol, I had that thought too.
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We had a 'broken penis' story for too long...it is supposed to be girls turn to resent their biology....sorry maryann.

I loved the banter about who will impregnate Jess if need arises, that's the kind of stuff that makes me love 'new girl'.
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This episode wasn't that great but that was due to the pacing and the lame jokes. You don't need to have a feminist rant in every little review that you do, it's tedious and cliched and pretty much ruins your articles.
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Sorry about that! I'll get back to the kitchen now.
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That's exactly what I meant.
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I'm having trouble interpreting this comment. It's a little ambiguous. Tone is hard in text. Is it that you are being sarcastic and didn't mean you thought she should get back in the kitchen? Or is it that you are saying "Sorry about that! I'll get back in the kitchen now." is a feminist rant? I think maybe you mean the latter, but I'm having trouble interpreting her little quip as a feminist rant.
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LOL, this whole comment thread is extremely wrong and extremely funny. Kinda like Louis CK's stuff.
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Gender stereotypes. Am I right?
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Wait, who's the man that broke the code and taught you how to read and write? He needs to come before the council.
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I'LL NEVER TELL.
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Women over age 40 are 77% more likely than women under age 25 to have a child with autism.
Women over age 40 are 51% more likely than women aged 25-29 to have a child with autism.
Women aged 35-39 are 31% more likely than women aged 25-29 to have a child with autism.
Women aged 30-34 are 12% more likely than women aged 25-29 to have a child with autism.

Freak out. Freak out now. To willingly have a child when you are over age 34 is nothing short of evil.
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However, as a man, i reserve the right to change my mind about kids and have them when I am 80. Granted, I will need to be fairly well off to pull a woman under 30, but it happens all the time.
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hah, how about freezing your eggs. even if ur really old u can still have a 'young' egg fertilized
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I think your views of feminism are a bit outdated. I don't want to be pregnant ever and I'd be a little shook up with the possibility of that "never" not being my choice. I know women who, when found they had a similar problem to Cece's, decided to go ahead and get pregnant. They wanted to be moms and that was their chance to do it. The line from Cece was more "guys can have kids even in old age", as exemplified by Robbie's "in ten years" line.

Honestly, it's a show about a woman who has woman problems. Shit happens. And whilst PMS can't biologically make you crazier, it can definitely piss you off.

There's a point that you can't blame a show for being realistic. I see me and my (girl) friends in Jess and Cece all the time.
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I see a lot of myself and my friends (guys included) in Jess, Cece, and the guys as well. I'm not saying that the idea of Cece and Jess being upset about potentially being unable to have kids on their timetable isn't accurate, but that the tone of the episode seemed to encourage the notion of hopelessness. What kind of OB/GYN or gyno drops a bombshell like that and doesn't point out that there ARE options other than "HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW."
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And do we really need ANOTHER Indian baby? There are billions of us. Adopt one! Preferably me!
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The kind with a boat payment to make.
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Half of this episode being about women and if and when they should or could have babies = I thought it was kinda funny and a decent way to get some depth into Cece.

Half of this review being about women and if and when they should or could have babies = I had the same reaction as Nick when hearing about vaginas. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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You seem to be taking these episodes so seriously! Its a comedy show, lighten up a bit!!! If your looking for something that is factually accurate watch a documentary instead.
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"Factually accurate" and "funny" are not mutually exclusive.
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I thought this episode felt totally off. The pacing and dialogue seemed all over the place. Thankfully, however, Nick managed to save the episode with his trip to the zoo and novell. His scene with the water massage a few episodes ago is the best of the season so far for me.
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You know ABC (or whoever) actually publishes the Richard Castle books? ($13.49 for a 400 page book!??! don't think so).
Z is for Zombie is on my Christmas list. Maybe they could add the rules to the True American drinking game as an appendix. I will substitute appropriate Canadian historical figures and references on my own time.
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"So, it's 50% drinking game, 50% life-size Candy Land." - Jess

"Well, it's more like 75% drinking, 20% Candy Land, and by the way the floor is molten lava." - Schmidt

"It's actually 90% drinking and then it's got a loose Candy Land-like structure to it." - Winston

Which two Prime Minister's names should we scream after the shotgun tip-off? One, two, three, four, Sir John A! Then everyone yells, Mackenzie King!

That would work. But it's shame we don't have any abbreviated, three-letter PM's like JFK or FDR.
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Jack Layton! Cancer take him!
Too soon?
Miss you Jack, you were the only thing that didn't make your party completely ridiculous.
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Jack was a great NDP party leader, but as you know not a PM. It's gotta be PM's!
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Hmm, I'll keep working on it. We should also add the Shawinigan Handshake (Chretien choking the protester) to the game.
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Well...I liked this episode and it actually makes me wonder how old you are? Haven't you ever had a freak out about your age and where you are in your life that really wasn't about the thing you were freaking out about? Like, Jess was really more concerned about her maturity and adulthood and that she just needed to acknowledge (yes, to a rhino) that she was okay. CeCe probably wasn't acknowledging she was treading water in her relationship with Robbie and has to be open to the idea of giving Schmidt another shot when he is ready to acknowledge his actual feelings.

I really hope Winston never stops reading Z is for Zombie...there has to be more after the word search.
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I've been freaking out over my age/ life direction at least twice a week for the past 9 years.
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