New Girl: How to Parent Your (Boyfriend’s) Gifted Child

New Girl S01E21: “Kids”

It was babies babies everywhere without any actual parents in sight on New Girl this week. First, CeCe and Schmidt had themselves a pregnancy scare. Well, CeCe had a pregnancy scare. Schmidt was surprisingly graceful about the whole thing, maybe even a little bit excited. He brainstormed some names and fretted over whether or not continued sex with CeCe in her potentially delicate condition might knock up the baby up and result in some sort of messed up “Russian nesting doll” problem. He also proposed (!), but not really, as he made his move after CeCe confirmed the pregnancy was a false alarm, and to avoid any awkwardness, hurried CeCe into her car before she could spot the “MARRY ME” being written in the sky above the loft.

Nick hooked up with a chick who, unbeknownst to him, was a very barely legal 18-year-old. Things got weird when Sarah, the daughter of Fancyman Russell who was spending the day with Jess, recognized Nick's new pal from her school bus—which for me, was one of the funniest moments of the episode. The connection was complicated by tween Sarah’s intense crush on man-child Nick. She even tried to flirt, pointing out that his eyes are “so brown, like poop.”

Poor Jess, she just wanted to hang with her boyfriend’s kid and make a good impression on his ex.

Crushed by the revelation that Nick was dating her former classmate, Sarah locked herself in Jess’s room. For some reason, she decided to put on all of Jess’s bras, possibly in some sort of misguided attempt to dress herself like an adult. Of course, Sarah's mother chose that very time to come pick her up, and was none too pleased to see Nick helping her 12-year-old daughter out of an improvised brassiere straight jacket.

“Welcome to our home, would you like a drink?” Jess deadpanned, spoken like a true parent run ragged by her handful of a child.

I thought guest-star Annalise Basso stole “Kids” as Sarah. She managed to pull off being a smarter-than-most-of-the-adults-in-the-room child without being irritating, which is often the risk inherent to creating kid characters of that flavor. She also managed to play the hopelessly love-sick aspect of Sarah without making it silly. WAS it a silly crush? Certainly. Most of the crushes we have when we’re 12 are. But it wasn’t silly to her, which was made very apparent by the awesomeness of Annalise Basso.

I’m hoping we’ll see more of Russell’s kid in the future. I was wondering when we’d finally get to meet her and I’m pleasantly surprised that she’s so likeable and interesting.

Additional Observations:

– Reasons offered for why Nick dating the 18-year-old was just plain wrong: “She doesn’t know what Netscape was. She thinks of Ice Cube primarily as an actor.” Kids today, man. I bet she couldn’t name the five original Power Rangers either.

– “We are literally the most embarrassing people ever.” Jess said when she tried to coax Sarah out of her bedroom. Yes, you are, and that’s why we love you.

What did you think of the episode? And how did you react to Schmidt's "proposal"?

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