New Girl "Parking Spot" Review: Parking Wars and the No-Nail Oath

New Girl S02E17: "Parking Spot"


Diving into the Nick/Jess relationship too soon has rapidly become one of the primary concerns of Season 2 with the golden couple finally, sort of, confirming their feelings for one another with that awesome kiss at the end of “Cooler.” While the general consensus is that it’s far too early in the series’ life to fully embrace the inevitable Jess/Nick relationship, the disappointment caused by a complete denial of what happened would be an equally suckass response to the altered dynamic between those two. New Girl survived the morning after with the episode immediately following The Kiss, “Table 34,” and “Parking Spot” finally tackled the one burning question left over from kissy-face-smoochie time: What does Schmidt think?

Schmidt probably wouldn’t have cared nearly as much as he did if Nick’s favor toward Jess—both genuine and obligatory—hadn’t cost him ownership of the parking space set aside for loft tenants that he'd discovered in the garage. Initially, anyway. Honestly, I feel like Schmidt’s situation was one in which “finders keepers” totally and fairly applied, but I’ll forgive the small lapse in logic for the sake of the hilarious resultant parking wars.

With Winston quickly backing out of the battle and Nick not actually owning a (particularly functional) car, the fight came down to Schmidt and Jess, with both of them agreeing that Nick would hold the title of “The Decider.” Schmidt wooed Nick with beer. Jess wooed him with boobs. Nick’s own residual guilt over complicating things by kissing Jess led to him awarding her the spot, only to take it back when he worried himself into a potential sex-for-spaces scandal. He gave it to Schmidt, which reeeeally didn’t help matters, and finally, for the sake of fairness, opted to keep the space for himself and his glorious parking chair. PARKING CHAIR! (It’s a Pittsburgh thing.)

It wasn’t all zany fun, though. Schmidt’s outrage over Jess and Nick’s kiss ran deeper than his anger at losing out on the coveted parking spot—when Jess moved in, all the men (Coach shout-out!) signed the No Nail Oath, which basically stated that they wouldn’t try to bang Jess. Jess was horrified that they would think so low of her, but Nick revealed that the Oath was in place to keep HIM in check, not her. The admission could be read two ways: Either Nick worried that he was such a depraved, sex-crazed animal that he couldn’t be trusted around a female roommate OR, the more probable reason, he’s struggled with his feelings for Jessica from their very first introduction. Jess seems to be buying into that second option, which is great for the continued viability of Jess/Nick, but not so awesome for Schmidt, who was unhappy about the altered dynamic of the roommates... and his lost parking spot... and probably the pee he was sitting in. Don’t let his proud declarations of intentional pants-wetting fool you, he’s gonna be pissed when remembers how much those pants probably cost him.

To even things out, Schmidt insisted on kissing Jess himself, but even he admitted that it didn’t help. It just made things weirder. Jess and Nick’s relationship can’t be reduced to a few lines in a contract or quashed by self-control. There’s no way to “even” things out because a kiss from Schmidt or Winston doesn’t mean the same thing as a kiss from Nick, which was Nick’s entire point in not wanting to kiss Jess while they were drunk and playing a game.

New Girl has been content to let Jess and Nick come around naturally and as a result, the tropes of a will-they-won’t-they sitcom romance that, to me, tend to grow annoying quickly are a delight to watch unfold each week. It’s taken three weeks (four, if we want to be literal and count the State of the Union bye week) just to get the news of the kiss out to every roommate. It’s clear that New Girl intends to move slowly with its development of Ness and for now, that’s proving to be an excellent decision. There’s nothing wrong with slow as long as slow goes hand in hand with both mindful and deliberate, but not careful. Careful is what No Nail Oaths are for, and we saw how well that worked out.


What do you think of the state of the Nick/Jess union?



NOTES


– One-liner of the night: “Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis. Direct quote. Scott Caan.” —Schmidt

– I loved Winston’s episode-long quest for a condom. It was silly, but it was just so freaking funny. Poor Cece. Poor Cece’s-prospective-future-husband.

– Speaking of the possible future Mr. Cece, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HIM AGAIN, LADY? I thought we were over this arranged marriage thing!

– What do you think the future for the roommates looks like? Are Jess and Nick going to keep fighting it? Is Schmidt over it? Something something Winston?

– I hope Winston’s botched hook-up didn’t ruin things between him and Brenda Song. It’s nice to see him kind of happy. <3

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I definitely see them sleeping together by the end of this season and STILL in denial. Also the chair thing is so Chicago.
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Jess, have you seen Jess! For a moment I thought Nick is dreaming, Jess at the doorstep of his room looking a completely different person, pretty and pretty hot. That new hair do changed her look so much. She wasn't this good looking when she was doing modeling as Cece's replacement.

And I like the rest of things happened during thise hilarious half an hour too. It was interesting to see they multiply Cece's already awkward situation.

Winston could just ask for the money from Cece or Mr. Cece, it would be equally funny. Poor guy. I hope she wasn't very mad at him for wasting her day.

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For me, the one-liner of the night was: "Did you just pee inside your body?" It was hilarious!
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I didn't really like this episode so much maybe its because I don't understand the fuss over a parking space (not from a city or America so that might be it) I did however love Winston's quest to find a condom and how fetching those pants looked on him.
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you forgot to mention Jess' freakin' HUGE box of condoms with only one left..hahahaha
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I wonder if that is going to come back into play in a later episode that he left her with an empty box.
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she had it in her hand at the end of the episode. she probably already stocked up again. haha
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Great episode. Love the path the show is taking of the whole Nick/Jess relationship. Winston was funny throughout the episode with some great one liners and the Barack Obama pronunciation from Nick hilarious.
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Sorry, girls, No Bang oaths and the like are necessary. It has noting to do with your free will or lack thereof. If we might want to bang you some day it colors every decision, taints every interaction. It's biological and subconscious. The male of the species acts differently around a potential mate. Many aren't even aware of it and will claim it isn't so. MaryAnn has the right of it, the oath was necessary to keep him in check. He needed to perceive her as something other than a possible mate to trick his subconscious. Obviously, he failed and should have convinced himself she had herpes or something. After all, there's a one in four chance that it's true. #2ndHerpesPostThisWeek
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I loved the line from the last picture of Winston above, "I mean..she's either having crazy amounts of sex or she does not know how to use these things."
And Nick's pronunciation of 'Barack Obama'...lol wtf?
Also, can I just say that the 'parking chair' thing is a Chicago thing, too! And since that's where Nicks from I'd say thats probably where he got it from.
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Is anyone else weirded out by London Tipton being all "Let's have sex right now!"?
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More "I'm weirder" fights and fish-sticks, please!
Can we call their eventual kids ' Lil Nessie's?
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Funniest episode this season!!!! LOVED IT!! Im also realy glad they are moving slow with the Jess/Nick thing, but that they are not treating it like the kiss never happened.

Best Line: "I dont know what Mazel Tov means, but I dont like the sound of it!" -This coming from the guy who was trying to be a lawyer... hahaha
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This episode was fan-freaking-tastic.
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This episode made me laugh so hard that i cried
there's only one episode taht compare to this in season 2 and that's Models both of these episodes were the best in season 2
and all the other episode were better than any other sitcom on tv
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one of the funniest shows on television but this episode was one of its least funny.
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What's with all the foul language this season? This is my favorite show largely because of the quality of the writing, but the profanity this season is becoming ridiculous. Did the writers have a contest to see how many times they could stuff the words bitch, bitches, penis, nipples, suck face, nail, piss etc. into 22 minutes? This is laziness on the part of the writers. Hate to say it, but if this had been the pilot, I'd have never tuned in for another episode; would never have recommended it to all my friends.
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wow I was really confused by your comment cuz I didn't notice any change from other episodes. And compared to other shows and real life this episode wasnt really vulgar or profane.
Also just cuz "foul language" is used doesnt mean the quality of the writing goes out the window there are MANY examples of good writing and story telling where profanity is used.
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Plus, the words "penis" and "nipples" aren't really "foul" language. They're body parts.
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that is true
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Rather than laziness, one could just as easily chalk it up to "this is how some twenty-somethings talk, especially when they're freaking out"
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Man do I love this show. I love how it allows my imagination to fill in the blanks - Jess drops fish sticks (insert passionate "Cooler" kiss). Sigh. Love Nick. He is a guy that doesn't know how to handle love and once he figures it out it is going to be epic (insert Nick and Jess married with kids). Double sigh.
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One of the best comedies on tv...but I still want the blue coat from episode 11.
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I liked this episode a lot, like possibly-favorite-episode lot.

In season 1 I hated the will-they-or-won't-they nods, and.. I still kind of do. I don't care about "Ness", I don't want another show with that dynamic, and while they're handling it decently, I still can't find myself caring about them as a couple. That said, I did love Schmidt's reaction to it in this episode.

I miss Olivia Munn, and Dermot Mulroney..
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I love what the writers are doing at the moment. It is sooo gooood. Can't wait for the next kiss, but at the same time I want this funny tension to go on.

Wasn't that last moment when Jess dropped that box almost as good as a kiss?
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"Where are your nipples, man?"
"I'll never tell."

Nothing more needs to be said than that.
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I think Schmidt totally stole the show in this episode. Sure it was great to see Nick and Jess starting to discuss their relationship more but Schmidt's reactions to everything was great.
Did anyone else notice that Winston isn't apart of the No Nail Oath? so they never revised it?
As for Nick saying it would keep him in check, I dont think the Oath was made specifically for him but instead that it would keep all the guys in check. Cuz remember in the pilot Schmidt was way more into Jess then Nick was. Then again Nick was hiding in his shell so who knows what he really thought.
And I think the best line was for Winston when he found Jess' Huge box-o-condoms and said "Either shes having a whole lot of sex or she doesn't know how to use these things" (or some thing along those lines)
I am kind of surprised that Cece went back to that guy cuz in "Cooler" it looked like she wasn't that into him.
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Well of course he did (and not unexpected, why he got a whole episode to react and deal with it and why Winston and CeCe both got the first panicked reaction). I am actually surprised, even with only a year of law school under his belt, that Nick didn't yell it didn't apply anymore because all the signees were no longer there (doesn't matter, but it would confuse the issue). What I most wondered...if Happy Endings is finally put to rest, I wonder if they have any thought of Coach trying to move back in (even if just a silly non issue episode where either Nick or Jess thinks they need to move out).
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Ive also wondered what would happen if Happy Endings ends. Maybe they could get a fifth room mate? idk how that would work... maybe they find a door in thir loft that theyve never noticed and it leads to another bedroom so coach could return or they could get bunkbeds. I wouldnt mind if coach returns i think he could be a fun character
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Right now I kind of see it as Coach stopping by, happening to mention he needs a place to live just as the Jess/Nick thing is at a breaking point. But what of course is funny is that as Winston said, Nick will be the one kicked out. Of course this won't last long, so you would think they do it as a season finale to leave the off season to see if Damon Wayans Jr. wants to stay or find something else.
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Yeah i can see that happening.
plus he doesnt have to be a new roommate cuz he could just move to a place close by and be one of the outside friends
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I love the dynamic between Nick and Jess now, it just so totally makes sense (and seriously, I am going to vote for a running gag until they are actually a couple of scenes like with the fish sticks..Nick or Jess says something sweet and poignant, the other gets ready to kiss again, and a roommate or CeCe walks in). I think that might be especially funny because they do seem to be true to actual work schedules and Jess and Schmidt are like always going to be home at the same time.

I loved Winston's story even it if was very sitcom typical...and kind of felt for him with the cookie cutter thing. I will admit I see my sister's house only once a year and this was only the second year of this..on Thanksgiving I followed my GPS instruction (I get lost easily and go from not minding to road rage really quickly) and pulled into a drive way and couldn't figure out if that was her house or not (it wasn't, luckily, her dog was sitting out front and I have seen half a dozen facebook pictures of her).

And I totally was confused with the scene of Schmidt finding out...I totally forgot he didn't know.
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I think they're handling Nick and Jess really well. They aren't diving right into the relationship, which is great, but it doesn't feel drawn out either, which is extra great. I'd totally like to see more like the fishsticks too!

Poor Winston. I also live in a cookie cutter apartment complex, so I tend to just stand outside when I'm trying to direct people. The address doesn't even really help because our complex named streets SO SIMILARLY, like, we have a Blah Blah Ct., Blah Blah Sq., and Blah Blah Blvd. literally all right next to each other. Ordering pizza is a total gamble.

I forgot that he didn't know too! I loved that it was on purpose though, that it wasn't just the writers forgetting to include him in the reveal or something.
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The show is much better with Jess and Nick aware of their feelings for each other. "Parking Spot" was the funniest episodes of the show yet (behind The Cooler) and I can't wait to see where their relationship goes next. Winston's side quest wasn't very funny or original, but it was nice that it linked in with the other stories including checking in on Cece.
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I loved the 'weird' fight between Jess and Nick. Weird, weird, weird! It was hilarious. I watched it like so many times. It was an exceptionally funny episode, even though nothing much (story wise) progressed.
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