New Girl "Quick Hardening Caulk" Review: Honesty Loves Painkillers

New Girl S02E19: “Quick Hardening Caulk”


For the non-handymen—and women—around here, caulking is a process used to seal cracks and seams in things like walls and sidewalks and rusty ‘91 Chevy Cavaliers (not one of my prouder moments) and in “Quick Hardening Caulk,” New Girl cleverly took the opportunity to plug the leaks in its narrative, ensuring that the whole thing is structurally sound as we move forward. I’m always impressed by how much New Girl manages to cram into a single episode without sacrificing quality or making things feel rushed. Both the Cece/Schmidt and Nick/Jess relationships got some serious action this week, with Schmidt ultimately deciding to let Cece go and Jess embracing her feelings for Nick when she found his newfound sense of responsibility to be a massive turn-on.

Depressed over Cece and Shevrang’s engagement, Schmidt parked himself at Nick’s bar and proceeded to drown his sorrows in melon liqueur. Nick decreed no more free drinks for his friends because he'd come to the realization that the bar is his only job and his only opportunity at the moment to be a responsible adult, possibly one day maybe even a SUCCESSFUL adult. Schmidt and Winston took the opportunity to ditch the bar for the aquarium, where Schmidt projected his love for Cece onto a rare California lionfish. And Jess found herself strangely attracted to the new and improved Nick Miller, which gave way to an amazing series of scenes where a horrified Jess found herself both drawn to Nick’s ambition and repulsed by, well, NICK. Eventually, following Nick around like a puppy got her a wooden board to the face, and a prescription for the good stuff had her blabbing all of her fantasies about playing doctor with him to Nurse Nick... advances that were conveniently forgotten when the drugs wore off.

Meanwhile, Schmidt’s quest to capture a lionfish led him and Winston to the sea, where Schmidt commanded Winston to pee on his face after he got stung by a jellyfish. Gotta love how Schmidt was totally grossed out by Winston’s admission that he peed in the ocean, but totally rolled with the face-pee idea, even when the total stranger EMTs dropped their drawers in the name of medicine. Good job, Schmidtty?


In the hospital, Cece came by with Schmidt’s coveted fish while he was too out-of-it to notice. I don’t judge Winston harshly for asking her to give Schmidt some space—he was truly acting out of a sense of protectiveness for Schmidt, and honestly, Schmidt very obviously wasn’t dealing with the engagement news all that well. But still, it made my heart hurt. Cece’s enthusiasm for Shevrang has never been particularly strong and their planned nuptials don’t appear to be changing that. Schmidt’s general douchiness always serves to make his vulnerable moments all the more powerful and resonating, because you know how much he must be hurting to let the asshole facade drop.

When he came back around, Schmidt acknowledged his misplaced feelings for the fish and even greeted it as “Fish Cece,” but rather than keep the fish as a living, breathing symbol of what he'd lost, Schmidt decided to throw the fish back into the ocean and when he declared, “She doesn’t belong to me,” he was clearly talking about the human Cece as much as he was talking about the fish. It was a bittersweet moment, even though I’m sure the epic of Schmidt and Cece is far from over, but if there was ever any doubt that Schmidt’s love for Cece was anything short of genuine and heartfelt, I think we finally got our answer.

And, it appears, we finally got some Nick/Jess sexytimes? Maybe? Almost? They were certainly gearing up for action before their angry almost-foreplay led to a shattered fish tank in the middle of the loft. Jess decided to tell Nick the truth, sober this time, but her confession was derailed when Nick revealed he was banging his anal-retentive new boss. Jess not-so-subtly insulted Nick’s new lady and when the manager demanded to know who she was, Nick was unable to formulate an appropriate response... which sums up the entire Jess/Nick relationship in it’s current state perfectly.

Even assuming their kissing-fighting-tearing-off-of-clothes-fighting-kissing sequence led to sex, that doesn’t mean that Jess and Nick are an item. It doesn’t make them official in any sense of the word; if anything, doing the deed could end up being more detrimental to their relationship than if they had just kept ignoring their attraction and pretending that the big kiss that kick started this whole thing never happened. I think it’s important to note that Jess finally moved on the feelings she was harboring in response to Nick going all responsible on us. I don’t want to say that Responsible Nick isn’t the Nick we know and love, but historically, it’s not. This sudden ambition could easily be another one of his phases and knowing that so much of Jess’s attraction this week was tied to Nick turning over a new leaf— it puts a condition on her feelings that can quickly be changed. Assuming Nick reverts to his old self, sure, Jess’s feelings will still be there. They were present even before he stopped handing out free drinks and figured out how to use the washing machine (sort of). But Jess was scared of her feelings because irresponsible default Nick isn’t exactly the kind of stable guy a woman might want to commit to for the long haul. Jess is in a situation remarkably similar to the one Cece is facing, but Jess and Cece, BFFs though they may be, are not the same person, and neither are their respective potential partners.

Is Jess/Nick going to be super awkward next week? Probably. But I have faith in the writers that they can steer this ship through whatever waters they choose. They haven’t done us wrong yet.


What did YOU think of this episode?




NOTES

– One-liner of the night: “I don’t want some janky freshwater bitch fish!” —Schmidt. He gets so passionate, doesn’t he? Because of that, we'll have to forgive him for not knowing that clown fish are actually saltwater fish. You know, like Nemo!

– What do you think the state of Nick/Jess will be when we return?




Comments (34)
Submit
Sort: Latest | Popular
Nick and Jess are perfect for each other. I love them apart and together ! So hot ! :)
3
Reply
Flag
yay for this!
Reply
Flag
"Would a number two help?"
4
Reply
Flag
I loved this episode for finally giving me another Nick/Jess kiss! I love their chemistry! I can't wait to see how all of this plays out next week!
4
Reply
Flag
How did Winston pee in the ocean if he was wearing the suit?
Reply
Flag
You can pee in the suit. I know that because I took a scuba-diving lesson and they said that if you have to go, go. I'm NOT speaking from experience.
1
Reply
Flag
I LOVE NEW GIRL. BEST SHOW EVER.
2
Reply
Flag
I'm LOVING Ness!
I want them together now... and they should stay together - no on and off thing.

Schmidt/Winston was great. I love this pair. The writers are superb at their job and so are the actors. They could make a pair out any of those room mates and they would be great together.

GREAT EPISODE! One of the funniest episodes.
5
Reply
Flag
:D :D :D

I usually don't begin my comments with emoticons, but I thought it was the best way to express how I feel about this episode. I COULDN'T STOP SMILING! Seriously, when I wasn't laughing hysterically there was a big, goofy grin on my face.

That opening scene with Schmidt drinking the melon flavoured liquor was pure gold! It was hilarious and endearing watching him struggle with Cece's engagement. I especially liked how he wouldn't admit (at first) that Cece was the reason for his sorrow. When Winston tried to get him to admit his true feelings we got a sampling of some classic Schmidty.

Schmidt's "things to be down about" list:

1. The air pollution in China.
2. The deficit.
3. The Hobbit wasn't very good ("If I wanted to see dwarves in a real time dinner scene, I would gave gone to Koreatown. Booyah, ball me!" - "Ball you?" - "BALL ME!")

Then, in the very same opening scene, just when the Nessie watchers were beginning to get impatient (futilely searching for a mythical beast for hundreds of years has tapped them out), Jess drops the bombshell the she wants Nick. Bad. I nearly died of laughter when Jess was staring at Nick with those big, beautiful eyes, and the song playing in the background ("You Might Think" by The Cars) was cranked up like in all those corny 80's movies about teenage love. Fantastic stuff. God bless corny 80's movies.

But what did it take for Jess to finally confess that she wants Nick in all his bubble-belly glory? Responsible Nick! I will admit, of all the Nick's we've seen, Responsible Nick has a distinctively sexy vibe. I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to say that chain scene in the department store was a thermostat torcher.

Random elderly woman: "Yeah, yank that chain, yank it."
Nick: "I feel like Russell Crowe in every movie he's ever done."

Come to think of it, every single scene with Nick and Jess was perfect. Awkwardly perfect. These two have enough passion and chemistry for two relationships. I honestly don't know how its humanly possible to dislike Zooey Deschanel. Her comedic timing is genius! All Jess's awkward mannerisms around Nick almost had me in tears. I loved when Jess got all faux-angry at Nick to conceal her burning sexual desire.

Nick: "Do you mind if we stop along the way, I'm thinking of getting a salad..."
Jess: "Ahhhh! God! Nick!
Nick: I"m thinking of taking a vitamin today."
Jess: Ohhh, God, shut up!"

Meanwhile Schmidt and Winston were on a magical and metaphorical quest to capture a sumptuously lipped Lion Fish. Much time has been spent on Schmidt and Nick's friendship ("What do you mean 'what are we celebrating?' We're celebrating TinFinity! Ten years, two hearts, one home! Loyalty and great conversation. It's right here on the cards!"), but it was pretty great to get some more Schwinston action. New Girl has been criticized for continually making Winston a passenger in the lives of his loft-mates, but even when he's not the focal point of the story, his character is absolutely necessary to the dynamic of the show. He has his quirks and foibles (don't we all), but he often serves as a steadying presence when Schmidt or Nick act like, well, Schmidt and Nick. He was a true friend to our boy Schmidty in his time of need, and their entire storyline was hilarious and heartfelt.

"I know this is a dumb question, but will #2 help?" - *Sniffle* What a pal!

But the REAL bombshell of the episode was without a doubt the marvellous make-out session, served a la Nessie. Did it get really hot for anybody else while they were watching that scene? I swear, those two have so much onscreen chemistry they somehow emit heat from the television. Maybe it's just me, but I could have gone for a head dunk in a bucket of ice-cold water.

Although, I, for one, don't think they had sex. This was just another step in their relationship. And through it all it has remained real and uncontrived. I've seen literally countless onscreen romances, and I don't know if it's the acting or the writing (probably both), but this one seems different. I tend to roll my eyes at sitcom romance. The predictability of it is just so tiresome. To date, that has NEVER happened with New Girl. I'm of the opinion that Nick and Jess are a long-term item. The show has dropped several hints that these two would break eHarmony compatibility records. But I have absolutely NO idea how they're going to get there. This show constantly surprises me to my absolute delight.

That's why I don't quite understand the backlash to Nessie's continued progression. I would guess it has something to do with the natural fear of change. If Nick and Jess start dating, what will that mean for the show? Will it ruin the magic? What if they break-up? It's only season 2, what about sustainability and longevity?!

I suppose there are some legitimate concerns, but I think they're unfounded. All us fans have known from episode 2 that Nick and Jess was going to happen. We've known, but that knowledge has taken nothing away from the quality of the show. Because New Girl is one of the best shows I've ever seen at relationship humour. Schmidt and Cece were great together, and I can just imagine all the hilarious things Nick and Jess could do as a couple. I can't say this about 90% of the TV I watch, but I trust these writers implicitly. It's not even a debate anymore, New Girl is the best comedy on TV.

(P.S. Another great review, MaryAnn! And I love your new picture! I don't know if you watch Lost Girl, but in that shot it's like you're channeling Kenzi. Which is like the greatest compliment I can possibly give anyone. You're incredibly beautiful is what I'm trying to say... Okay, that got creepy really fast. Sorry!)
More+
20
Reply
Flag
I'm glad that we have New Girl to get all giddy and happy and optimistic about! I also think that New Girl has become the best comedy on TV, for so many reasons but especially for its rewatchability factor (which, I think, encompasses everything else that is great about this show: Ness - or RoomFriends now -, the loft dynamic, the writing, Zooey's comedic timing, the guys' friendship... oh, so many things!).
At this rate, I think Nick-Jess are beyond any comparison (Ross/Rachel - Sam/Dianne, etc.). The writers are doing such a great job with these two clowns! Although I wonder how they are going to tackle the "we are not ready for this yet" plot (if they decide to go that way). Hopefully, they will find a graceful yet hilarious solution.
My favorite line of this episode (besides "Shut up and take your clothes off. And I mean it. Take your clothes off.) was Winston's "I know this is a dumb question, but will #2 help?". Now THAT'S true friendship!
P.S.: the old lady from the hardware store? She was channeling me...
4
Reply
Flag
Several of the comedies I like have been taking a beating this year. Happy Endings is a dead show... walking (airing?), Don't Trust the B has already gotten ol' sparky, and I get violently ill (and just plain violent) when thinking about Community.

Soooooo, thank the good and bountiful lord (or any other equally delightful deities) for New Girl! I watched this episode three times! And laughed on every occasion. Now THAT'S a comedy!

P.S. I would like to say I channel Russell Crowe, but I'm closer to a more nerdy Harry Potter (if that's even possible). :)
3
Reply
Flag
This episode, was so, so good. I could not stop laughing. I rewound, then laughed again. And again.
4
Reply
Flag
Schmidt in all of his awesomeness. Nick/Jess in all of their awkwardness. Can I ask for more? So awesome.
3
Reply
Flag
i dislike the jess and nick relationship, for quite a while i could feel it coming on and iw as really, really hoping they wouldn't go down that road- it seems that they are, however, and i am a little disappointed.
3
Reply
Flag
Great Episode! I love the fact that Nick called Jess a Gold digger just to tease her into an honest-to-god-hottest-most-painful-make out EVER.
17
Reply
Flag
So...umm..I was a little underwhelmed by the episode last night. I can't put my finger on it (I know there seemed to be really long commercial breaks which seemed to break the rhythm of the show).
3
Reply
Flag
I love Nick and Jess...individually and together. I do believe that they should and will grow old together. How exactly that will play out though, I have no idea. But I do trust the writers completely. I was never happier and giddier at the same time seeing a TV "couple" make out. They whole scene was so true to who they both are, I loved it. Can't wait for next week :)
15
Reply
Flag
Good pairing so far, but the second I can smell Ross/Rachel in the air, my interest will be gone.
7
Reply
Flag
For real... we want them for good!
1
Reply
Flag
I don't think either of them are like Rachel and Ross...they're different people!
5
Reply
Flag
Oh God that last scene when he picks up the Lion Fish. Those things are poisonous you know. The have sharp barb finny things that stab into you. I cringed away i'm not afraid to say. I think there are more injuries in New Girl than the Walking Dead, I swear.
6
Reply
Flag
true, they are very dangerous, they propably are just about to call back the ambulance. the other sad thing is that it is very unlikly the fish is gonna survive. lion fishes live e.g. in the East Coast of the United States as florida and in the Caribbean
Reply
Flag
They're indigenous to the Indio-Pacific, they have unfortunately been placed in the Caribbean where they're killing off many of the other species there because they have no natural predator in the area. It's a big problem. However, they are beautiful (unfortunately). Anyway, I haven't done any research, but since they already exist in one part of the (admittedly, huge) Pacific Ocean, I'd buy it that they'd be off the coast...especially since the aquarium guy listed a (not sure if it's real) California Lionfish.
Reply
Flag
I was thinking the same thing! I remember doing some report on them many many years ago in primary school haha they have barbs!! You can't just grab it with your hands schmidt!
2
Reply
Flag
Was not expecting to see this up tonight and I am not upset one bit!

Firstly, I want a bitch fish! It's just so much fun to say over and over again.

This was a great episode. I honestly had tears coming out of my eyes I was laughing so hard. All of the Schmidt/Winston stuff was perfection. We really don't get to see those two together all that often. It's usually Winston and Jess and/or Nick but Winston and Schmidt as just as hilarious together. But as usual Schmidt has further secured a place in my heart and earned some "Awwwwwwwwws".

You know CeCe isn't going to go through with the wedding. Just the look on her face when she's talking to Winston and he's telling her to get out, she looks so sad.

Again Nick and Jess were amazing. The writers have done an amazing job up to this point at keeping this whole progression very organic and true to the characters. I loved the argue/make-out session. And of course the major cool-off of the aquarium busting.

And of course Home Depot Grandma was hilarious. But I probably would have been staring too......................................
7
Reply
Flag
I could watch those two kiss for all eternity. Nick Miller is so HOT when he is passionate. Fantastic episode! But what about the water?! They have wood floors! Grab some towels, pick up the glass, get a mop and why were their feet and clothes dry as they walked away? Where did the water go? Anyway, so glad they came back out and kissed again. He would be very hard to resist. For the sake of the show I don't think they had sex yet but in reality they definitely would have. Way too hot.

I actually really appreciated Winston's advice. Cece hanging around would just be her trying to have her cake and eating it too. Knowing his pain, showing him love but denying him is just cruel. She likes being around Schmidt because of how he makes her feel. It's great being loved and adored. But, if she is then not going to choose him then she needs to sever the bond and go and be loved and adored by the man she is choosing. She will of course be back. She is in love with Schmidt and not her fiance and she will eventually come to terms with that. In the meantime, more Nick and Jess kissing please!

More+
10
Reply
Flag
Oh my God, I was worried about the floor too! Their neighbours must be so happy to have water dripping from their ceiling.
1
Reply
Flag
That's what I said! I was all, why are you running to your rooms instead of cleaning up? Water does MAJOR damage! That was the only frustrating part of this fantastic episode.
Reply
Flag
Who would've thought that a man yanking a chain was so darn sexy. Nick Miller was hot to trot! I can't articulate any other thoughts till I rewatch the episode.
12
Reply
Flag
Clown fish are saltwater fish, not freshwater. However, a clown fish alone becomes female, so it was, indeed, a bitch fish.
4
Reply
Flag
LOVED this episode, I thought it was so funny. I think the best scene was actually Schmidt throwing that fish back into the ocean, that and Jess reading off all the items they needed to get from the hardware store (why are so many tools and building supplies so dirty?).

Well I have read a ton of spoilers so i have a feeling i know how nick and jess' relationship will be when we return.
2
Reply
Flag
also when is the next episode, is there another break? cuz that would really suck :( all i know is that one episode is airing on a thursday (i think April 4th)
Reply
Flag
There wasn't any implied sex in this episode, as far as I can tell. In that end sequence Nice and Jess went screaming into different rooms, slammed the doors, walked back into the hallway for a last passionate kiss, then yelled a little more and went back to their separate rooms again. The last time we saw them they were definitely in different rooms, which in television usually means no sex.
8
Reply
Flag
I have no idea where they're going with all this and I love it.

New Girl has officially become by favourite comedy ever.
15
Reply
Flag

Like TV.com on Facebook