New Girl "Santa" Review: Happy Moon Festival!

New Girl S02E11: “Santa”

'Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through New Girl, not a creature was stirring but— actually, that’s a lie. There was quite a bit of stirring as New Girl wrapped up its final episode of 2012 (and possibly ever if the world ends in T-minus nine days, but judging by what a flop Y2K was, I’m thinking that’s a negative).

Nick insulted his stripper girlfriend, basically by calling her his “stripper girlfriend” and implying that she was used to having sex in public because she’s a stripper. Stripper, Nick, not hooker, and even then, I’m pretty sure that there’s an extra fee for exhibitionism or something. Winston got a cranberry stuck in his ear after an argument over whether or not Santa Claus is real devolved into a berry bitter battle. Schmidt and Cece clashed over the events of last week’s Worst Second First Date ever, and all seemed lost. And Jess ran into Sam at Sadie and Melissa’s cookie party, where he claimed to want to get back with her. She immediately ran away and then later, did the very best impression of a trapped bird.

It all seemed rather dreary heading into the long winter’s hiatus, but three parties and (probably) a bunch of cocktails later, Nick and Angie were giving each other Christmas lapdances—with pointers from Schmidt, including “eye-contact”—and after unsuccessfully avoiding Sam the entire night, only to change her mind and track him down, Jess was back on the boyfriend express. Even Schmidt and Cece appeared to be calling a tentative truce, which was probably the biggest relief of the night because they were starting to get pretty bitter about their situation, or at least, that’s how it was starting to look. I cringed so hard when Schmidt appeared to give Cece’s gift to Random Hot Blonde that I thought my face was going to get stuck like that.

Oh, and somewhere in all of that dashing through the snowless streets of L.A., Sam found the time to use his doctorin’ skillz to take that pesky cranberry out of Winston’s ear.

“Santa” was almost as exhausting to watch as hitting three holiday parties in one night, but it was also just as satisfying as getting pulled over by Black Santa, mending a bad breakup, or happily shooting your eye out with that Red Rider BB gun just like your parents warned that you would.

It was only a matter of time before Nick’s NICKness ruined things between him and Angie. Despite his assertion that he was totally okay with Angie being a stripper, the fact that he kept obsessing over it betrayed his real sentiment. His issue wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t approve of her career choice so much as it was that Nick is unable to see the career as a choice. Nick is a bartender and sure, I know a few bartenders who sincerely love what they do and never want to do anything else, but that’s not the case with Nick. His job is just that, and he does it to pay the bills. He was eager to call himself an author when the subject of his zombie novel came up, despite not actually, as far as we know, ever making a dime off of his writing. It’s important to Nick to be proud of something he accomplished, but he failed to understand how his girlfriend could have that same feeling toward her stripping job. Angie isn’t ashamed to be “just” a stripper the way Nick is ashamed, from time to time, ashamed to be “just” a bartender. Nick dreams of moving past what he perceives to be a low station, but Angie seems to be pretty content with who she is and what she does.

Nick, to his credit, at least recognized that his Angie-logic was flawed, and with a little holiday magic in the form of wise, sage Jess sitting him down and calling him a chicken—while noting that the problem wasn’t Angie’s job itself or even her positive take on it, it was Angie's “fearlessness” that intimidated him—Nick reverted to his usual clueless and curmudgeonly state.

With Nick booted off the Island of Misfit Roommates, Jess made an escape for herself. After initially avoiding Sam, then hoping to repel him by pretending to date Winston (who didn’t realize he was part of an elaborate con due to his cranberry-infused deafness), Jess was forced to face Sam after Winston regained his hearing and “dumped” her. Jess refused to take Sam back because she didn’t want to be led on again. She made a point of walking away from Sam this time around in order to reinforce the idea that she was different now and she wouldn’t be hurt again.

And then a traffic stop by a man in blue who bore a striking resemblance to the man in red turned out to be the sort of holiday miracle all the cheesy movies airing at this time tend to be so rife with. Jess, who despite swerving across several lanes of the road was not actually drunk, plainly told her story to Officer Santa who, simply put, believed her and sent the gang on their way with “Sometimes, people tell the truth.”

Despite her determination to be a newer, tougher, less-gullible woman, Jess took the cop’s words to heart and gave into her lingering feelings for Sam. With Jess giving into her trusting nature and Schmidt failing to maintain any kind of grudge against Cece due to his feelings for her—“I didn’t really give the bracelet away. I’d never do that to you.” (Aww!)—I’m guessing Nick’s days of brave badassery are numbered, but we’re going to have to wait until next year to find out. You know, if we skip the apocalypse or whatever.


What did you think of New Girl's crazy Christmas party shenanigans?



NOTES


– One-liner of the night: It’s not really a one-liner, but the gang’s improvised caroling at Sam’s hospital resulted in awkwardly charming hilarity, complete with Schmidt determinedly adding menorah references to the holiday mash-up. Also “White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night” and “All wreaths. No trees.” It was a very Schmidtty New Girl Christmahannukah.

– And the award for best cookie-decorating skills goes to...

Comments (45)
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This show is getting better everytime. I definitely want to see Schmidt becoming even "Schmidter" and bring back his brother please!
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"I'm so sick of hanging out with Christians. This is my last Christian Christmas." - Schmidt
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Nice review, MaryAnn!

This episode was very funny, couldn't stop laughing. It really has become one of the best comedies on TV, hasn't it?
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My only complaint is that I don't enjoy Zooey Deschanel's signing and there was too much of it here. I know she enjoys singing, she sings in those cotton commercials, she sang the national anthem at a World Series game, but I hate it. Other than that the episode was funny and enjoyable.
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it was hillarious:))) I actually laughed out loud at some moments (the lined up leaving from the first party, the caroling in the childrens hospital, the sleigh falling in the second party) and it really made me happy that Sam and Jess are back together.. it would also be lovely to have a CeCe - Scmidt thing but unfortunately that did not work out.. it was fun, it was sweet, it was just a great example of a christmas episode:)
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Shes kind of pretty that Olivia Munn
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Understatement, I think :)
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Second favorite New Girl episode. There were so many great one liners and sight jokes that I had to keep pausing and rewinding just to catch everything because I was laughing too hard. Such a great ensemble. Just seeing them on screen makes me laugh. "White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night" - I lost it - writing genius.
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I thought Jess' singing was way too prolonged. *cringe*

Not my favorite Christmas episode.
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Great episode. I like Sam. Only thing I didn't get was why Winston would have so much trouble hearing with a cranberry stuck in the ear, when he has two of them. Two ears. Unless I have missed something along the way, I don't think he has one deaf ear..
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I made the mistake of actually watching this one. There was singing. Is there a petition I can sign?
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I would just like to go on record that I have no problem with stripping as a life choice. Prostitution may be the oldest profession, but stripping has got to be like 4th or 5th, right?

"I'm pretty sure that there's an extra fee for exhibitionism or something."

Do I sense a story, MaryAnn?

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I have a problem with stripping as a life choice. That problem is this: old strippers. Olivia Munn is like 32. She's got maybe 3 good years left in year. Some would say she's two years past her sell-by date as a stripper. Stripping is a lovely choice, in your twenties. Old strippers are just sad.
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Do you think there's an unwritten age limit? Maybe when a stripper hits 35 the owner is like, "Well, Destiny, you've had a good run ..."
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Good choice of a strip name :)
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I think I've seen strippers in their late thirties. As good a job as a girl might do taking care of her body, there are things that happen to the boobs and the skin that just make this untennable. Olivia Munn looks good. She might even look good naked. In the right light. From certain angles. But stripping involves every angle, while moving. A lot. Also, there is a written age limit. It is 30. I gave her the extra five years coz she's an actress. If you are a stripper, you need a plan to be something else. That's just reality. Let's pretend she can pull it off all the way till 40 (she can't), it stil isnt a real career plan or life plan or anything at all but a short term plan.
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No! (Maybe?)
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I liked the episode and thought that going to all the different parties, flashing the invitation on screen first, was a neat layout of progression. I love the characters and look forward to more episodes!
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I want that blue coat!!! Where can I get it?
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Me too! Love the bow.
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Meh, this one didn't do it for me. I was so bored I flipped open the 3DS midway through the program and just listened to what was going on.

I did like Jess trying trying to find the opening in all those glass panes, but that was spoiled for me by the promo.
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The proper term is Chrismukkah.
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first time I heard about that was the OC.
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Better than the one from Season 1. This is show is really growing on me. I really cannot wait for the future of this show, I think the sucessor of Friends is already among us.
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Ugh Friends wasn't funny
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Friends was funny, maybe not funny to you, I get that, but it was funny to the majority that's why it had 10 successful seasons.
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Two and a Half Men has 10 seasons... that doesn't mean it's good/funny.
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I said, 10 SUCCESSFUL seasons
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It is, but it's called "Happy Endings".
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This was the funniest episode!!! It's current finals week for me and I broke my no tv shows rule just to see this episode and it was worth it!!!!! And I even learned a little physical chemistry from Olivia munn too.. I'm set for that final!
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the schmidt lapdance had me in stitches
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Staff
EYE CONTACT!
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episode was fantastic, funny and endearing, not lame like most holiday episodes
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Really great episode.

My favourite line of the night was Nick's attempt at sounding badass
"I've had tetanus thrice in my life."
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The second half of this episode was the funniest New Girl I have ever seen... Nick Miller hit his stride.
- Winston with Ear Horn: "That's the dump fantasy." Schmidt: "Let's workshop that term."
- Jess: "We've lain together"
- Nick: "Ooooh Ho Ho Ho Here comes the chubby Santa boy." (From here on, every time Nick was on screen I laughed)
- Winston: "Be gone, Honky!"
- Nick: "Nick Miller; turning lemonade into lemons since 1981." Half cocked smile grimace
- Dr. Gavin Daytona and the whole lap dance scene... to Deck The Halls... Homeboy
- Jess "...cause I believe in traffic violations and paying your debts to society but you have to believe.." Black Santa: "I believe you." Jess: "You do? Why? Schmidt: "Jess be cool!"
- Angie: "Gum? Boobs?" And watching all the guys come around for a linger
- And anytime Zooey sings is worthy of note
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"Nick Miller; turning lemonade into lemons since 1981" well that one made me laugh too:)
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I laughed so hard in this episode! I loved a lot of scenes (Jess heating the glass windows over and over, the Slay breaking and Nick hiding under the "snow", while his stripper GF was cheerleading...HILARIOUS), but the one that blew me away was the Nick being sexy/Scmidt lap-dance...I was LOoooooooooooL-ing
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I also really liked Winston's 'break up' with Jess...it was like the Winston who knows all the words to Wicked was back and channeling the (crap can't remember) lead from Sunset Boulevard.
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I liked the episode. Love Winston but really, I have friends who are deaf on one ear, they can still hear a lot. Just having a cranberry stuck in your ear doesn't make you that deaf, that was just silly.
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Yeah... I agree it was kinda silly and unrealistic... but I decided to just go with. For me just how overdone it was done made it funny for me.... but I laugh at random stuff so I might not have the best taste in comedy ;)
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I work with someone who is mostly-deaf in one ear... if you're standing on the bad side of her it's quite hard to get her attention and when talking to people she'll tilt her head slightly so the good ear is facing at least a few degrees towards the person. Likewise, she's also adapted learning to lip-read a little bit to fill in the gaps.

Meanwhile if something (miraculously) went far enough into the ear, it really could impact hearing quite a bit. Particularly if it gets close to the ear-drum area. But something getting thrown into there from across a room is like a Billion-to1 shot.
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what I mean with hearing a lot I meant by the other ear. Of course if you stand on the wrong side they don't hear it, but in the conversations were mostly straight to his face he didn't hear either and he screamed a lot, it just seemed a bit silly to me as I have never seen my friends (and also my mom who is also deaf in one ear) do that. She does say what a lot like J_Pip's comment, that's true! Just seemed a bit forced comedy, which I don't like from my Winston, he can be wayy funnier when he's just acting normal :')
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Staff
I totally agree.
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Yeah, Winston could hear Schmidt (on his left) but when Jess was on the right (same distance as Schmidt) he couldn't hear anything.
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I concur. I am deaf in one ear... but then again I do say "what" a lot haha
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