News Briefs: The CW Kicks Cult to Fridays

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... The CW's Cult has already been broken up. The network is moving the low performer to Fridays at 9pm starting March 8 because no one is watching it—only two episodes have aired so far. The show drew a 0.3 in the 18-49 demographic in each of its airings, which is like H8R levels of bad. Taking over its Tuesday 9pm slot will be repeats of other CW shows that people don't watch. [The CW via press release]


... After developing it, casting it, shooting it, editing it, sound mixing it, and polishing it for broadcast, Fox finally remembered that it also has to air The Goodwin Games, a sitcom that it announced way, way, way, way, way, way back in May at its Upfronts. But the show will make it to air Monday, May 20 at 8:30pm, 375 days after it was ordered. All seven episodes (its order was cut down from 13) will air for seven straight Mondays as a summer burn-off. The Goodwin Games stars Becki Newton, T.J. Miller, and Scott Foley as siblings who reconnect in order to get a stake of their father's inheritance. It's the same old routine for Becki Newton, who was a hot property after Ugly Betty was canceled and landed on NBC's Love Bites. Love Bites was also dumped to the summer, over a year after it was ordered. TV, what do you have against the adorable Becki Newton? [TV Line]


... ABC has announced a pair of premiere dates for shows aimed at ladies who want to dump their boyfriends. The next cycle of The Bachelorette will premiere Monday, May 20 at 9pm (right after The Goodwin Games!). My bet is that Desiree will be the new lady picking a man. Oh come on, don't lie, you watch The Bachelor too. Midseason soap Mistresses, starring Alyssa Milano and Yunjin Kim as ladies "on a path of self discovery" (a.k.a. recklessly bonin' married dudes), will debut Monday, May 27 at 10pm, right after The Bachelorette. Monday on ABC, adultery night! [ABC via press release] 

... USA continues to steer toward reality with a series order for Camp, a 10-episode competition show that throws adults into a summer-camp experience. Sixteen adults will play campy games, form summer romances, and ask their kids to come pick them up after the first day because it's terrible and they don't know anyone! [Deadline Hollywood

... Discovery Fit & Health has ordered the docu-drama Funeral Boss, because there's a [blank] Boss for every other occupation out there, so why not? Funeral home director Bill Harris and his family will be at the center of the six-episode series. Look for it March 14 at 10pm. I hope the show includes the pitch to grieving families: "We'll knock $25 off your funeral if you let us film and broadcast your grandma being embalmed." [Variety]


... Pilot-casting season always does a bit of fortune-telling for current shows as stars take new jobs and signal the demise of their former employers. In related news, Touch star Kiefer Sutherland has been offered a lead role in NBC's The Black List, about a master criminal who offers to turn himself in and hand over every bad guy he's dealt with if he's allowed to give them up to an FBI agent that he seemingly has no connection to. But if you were Kiefer, would you rather be on a doomed Fox show or an NBC pilot? You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Kiefer Sutherland as 24's Kiefer Sutherland, but let's be honest here, he's The Lost Boys' Kiefer Sutherland. [EW]

... Angela Kinsey, Angela from The Office, has been cast in Fox's comedy pilot The Gabriels. She'll play the wife of Rob Riggle's character and the mother of a Wisconsin family "that lives in a community of over-sharers." Whatever that means. You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Angela Kinsey as The Office's Angela Kinsey, and they'll be right.  [TV Line]

... Ron Livingston has been cast as a regular in HBO's Boardwalk Empire. He'll play a fancy businessman who catches the eye of Gretchen Mol's character. You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Ron Livingston as Office Space's Ron Livingston, but let's be honest here, he's Swingers' Ron Livingston. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Fringe's J.H. Wyman and J.J. Abrams has a new pilot in the works about ROBOT COPS. And playing the main ROBOT COP will be Michael Ealy. You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Michael Ealy as Common Law's Michael Ealy or The Good Wife's Michael Ealy, but let's be honest here, he's Sleeper Cell's Michael Ealy. [EW]

... Chyler Leigh has been cast in NBC's interesting-sounding comedy pilot Holding Patterns, about a group of friends whose lives are changed after they survive a plane crash. She'll play a flighty slacker named Leah. You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Chyler Leigh as Grey's Anatomy's Chyler Leigh, but let's be honest here, she's Not Another Teen Movie's Chyler Leigh. [TV Line]

... Donal Logue will return to Sons of Anarchy in Season 6, as the mysterious Lee Toric. Logue has also signed to join BBC America's Copper in its second season. Both roles allow him to keep that awesome beard. You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Donal Logue as Terriers' Donal Logue, but let's be honest here, he's The Tao of Steve's Donal Logue. Actually screw that, Terriers' Donal Logue works for me too. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Stephen Root has been cast in the Fox comedy pilot To My Future Assistant, a show about assistants at a prestigious law firm in New York City. He'll play the boss of the character played by Brittany Snow. You're going to see a lot of news stories out there that refer to Stephen Root as NewsRadio's Stephen Root or Boardwalk Empire's Stephen Root or King of the Hill's Stephen Root or Office Space's Stephen Root, but let's be honest here, he's so awesome he's just Stephen Root. [The Wrap]

Follow writer Tim Surette on Twitter if you want to: @TimAtTVDotCom

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