News Briefs: The CW Orders Three More Reality Shows People Won't Watch

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Ballet! Keeping it REAL!

THE CW IS STILL A NETWORK? NEWS

... The CW has announced three new shows that will join its family of shows you just don't care about and make you wish that Farmer Wants a Wife was still on the air. The little network that couldn't is jumping onto the reality singing competition show bandwagon even though that wagon broke down like 8 years ago. It's called The Star Next Door and if you don't know how these things work yet, then you're lucky. Participants sing, get judged, and some win. No gimmicks in this one at all. Breaking Pointe goes behind-the-scenes of a competitive Utah Ballet company. And The Catalina follows the hard-partying employees of a South Beach hotel. They join the previously announced game show Oh Sit! for a lineup that will get kids excited about going back to school. [CW via press release]

RATINGS REVIEW

... ABC's new drama GCB premiered last night, and... I don't think we'll have to worry about this becoming a hit. Only 7.6 million viewers tuned in for a 2.2 rating in the adult demo, down a bunch from Pan Am's debut in the same time slot back in September. How long do you give this show? [EW]

PILOT SCRAPPING NEWS

... CBS drama pilot Quean has been throw in the dumpster in the back of CBS' headquarters. The cop show, about a hacker chick who teams up with an Oakland detective to solve crimes, was threatened with legal action from Sony Pictures because the show shared too many similarities with the movie The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Meanwhile, the guy who actually wrote the book the movie is based on and came up with the story is all like, "Ummm, what the F? Shouldn't I be the one who is mad?" And Sony Pictures is all like, "No bro, I got this!" while lighting cigars with $50 bills. [Deadline Hollywood]

... HBO is not moving forward with 40, the middle-aged dramedy about guys hitting 40 from Entourage creator Doug Ellin. Why? Because it's from Entourage creator Doug Ellin. [Deadline Hollywood]

CASTING ROUNDUP

... Cougar Town (and Aliens in America!) star Dan Byrd has booked the lead role in CBS' untitled comedy pilot created by Louis CK and Spike Feresten. I know what you're saying. "But Tim, he's in Cougar Town NOW!" Well, if Cougar Town doesn't come back for another season (which it probably won't), then Dan gets to star in this if it goes to series. He's the second Cougar Town star to prepare for the worst; Josh Hopkins also booked a pilot this season. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Rachelle Lefevre (A Gifted Man, Twilight, meow!) will star in the CBS drama pilot Applebaum. It's in second position to A Gifted Man, which isn't looking good for renewal. Lefevre will play the title character, a lawyer that becomes a private investigator to stave off the boredom from being a stay-at-home mom. Man, I'd hate to be her kids. "You're so boring I had to get a JOB!" [Deadline Hollywood]

... Jeff Goldblum has been frickin' busy as a sweat shop bee, and he's not slowin' down. Goldblum has joined the cast of Sarah Silverman's sorta-autobiographical NBC comedy pilot about a single woman, which has now been titled Susan 313 for reasons that escape me. Goldblum will play Susan's (Silverman) ex. I guess they really formed a connection when they both guest starred on The League's Thanksgiving episode, which ended with the two of them doin' it on a washing machine. Isn't that the way most work relationships start? [TV Guide]

... Remember when I said that both Zachary Quinto and Jessica Lange were coming back to American Horror Story? Well I wasn't done! Evan Peters (Tate), Lily Rabe (Nora), and Sarah Paulson (Billie Dean) will also return to play new characters when Season 2 starts up with a new location and premise. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Megan Ketch has landed the lead in ABC's supernatural-ish drama pilot Gotham. The show is about a detective that discovers a secret magic land in New York City. Ketch is a newcomer to the business, so all we really know about her is that she's probably very attractive. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Kristen Stewart's dad in Twilight is joining NBC's pilot Revolution, from Supernatural creator Eric Kripke and super producer J.J. Abrams. Actor Billy Burke will play a man in a world where all energy has mysteriously disappeared. [TV Line]

... Michael Gambon has been promoted to regular on HBO's Luck. In the series, which is about horsies!, Gambon plays Mike, a rival to Dustin Hoffman's Ace. Also joining the cast will be Margarita Levieva (Revenge), who will play Nathan Israel's sister. [Deadline Hollywood]

ANOTHER ONE OFF THE MARKET NEWS

... The other day it was revealed that cutie Kaley Cuoco broke off her engagement, and many of you rejoiced. Well prepare to be sad, because another TV hottie has taken the plunge and is now engaged! Say goodbye to your chance at living a long life with Jersey Shore's Snooki, because that pregnant chick is getting married! Cuoco back on the market, Snooki off. I guess that's a fair trade said Mr. Sarcasm. [People]


Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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