“I want you to suck the fat out of a murdering piece of scum so we can kill him.” Mmmm, promising start to last night’s Nip/Tuck, but at this point, is there anything the show can do to surprise us? Sean and Christian had to agree to perform liposuction on convicted murderer Wesley Clovis so he’d be light enough to be killed by lethal injection. As a reward, the district attorney would let Matt out of prison early—because that’s totally how the legal system works, right? (Plothole alert: why couldn’t the district attorney’s office just go to another doctor and forgo the quid pro quo arrangement? It’s not like they needed the job done well.)
Actually, the Wesley Clovis story was more interesting than much of what happened during the episode, which felt like a retread of past events. The Wesley plot was unbelievable, mildly offensive, and upsetting, but at least it was fresh!
Things on the Christian/Kimber front were particularly déjà vu-tastic. How many times are we going to see this storyline play out? Kimber revealed that she’s pregnant—again. Christian proposed, but not because he wanted to play dad for the fourth time: He’d only marry Kimber if she gave up the baby (which was douche-y, but not out of character). Kimber, who has obviously learned from the best when it comes to chicanery, tried to get her recent ex Mike to marry her and be the father. I guess she was hoping he was really bad at math? Even after he realized she was pregnant with Christian’s baby, Mike still proposed. Okay, so maybe he is that dumb.
The Christian-Kimber-Mike triangle just isn’t that interesting, and it looks as though the Christian/Kimber pairing that Nip/Tuck has been toying with from the beginning will finally stick this time. At least the Wesley Clovis story remained compelling throughout. Sean insisted that doing lipo on a man so the state could kill him was unethical—or did he just want to keep Matt in jail? That’s certainly how his wayward son felt, and a trip to the jail ended with “You are dead to me!”-level drama. Even a visit from the dying father of Wesley’s victim didn’t sway Sean.
Of course, he came around eventually. (Ever notice how Nip/Tuck’s ethical dilemmas always seem to work themselves out over commercial breaks?) Sean and Christian did the lipo on Wesley—played by Modern Family’s Eric Stonestreet—and found out that Matt would be released as soon as Wesley was executed. At that point, Matt learned that the soon-to-be-dead murderer was very likely innocent. In order to be set free, he’d have to send this sacrificial lamb to the slaughter. Were you unsure of what step Matt would take next? Hint: Every character on this show is a sociopath.
Things did pick up toward the end of the episode. Kimber decided to get the abortion, and the ensuing scenes reflected Nip/Tuck at its finest. She called Liz to be her “person” (thanks for the terminology, Grey’s Anatomy!) and they bonded over their similar pasts—namely abortion and Christian. I love the relationship between these two women. They should probably hate each other by now, but repeatedly manage to find common ground. Alas, there were complications during the procedure and Kimber discovered she’d no longer be able to have children. Liz was in top form, comforting Kimber while she grieved, giving her medical attention, and tearing Christian a new one for how he’d treated his bride-to-be. Oh, and no baby means the couple can at least be (re)engaged.
The Wesley story wrapped up nicely. Well, not for Wesley. As predicted, Matt not only refused to stop the execution, but actively encouraged it, thereby earning himself a “Get Out of Jail Free” card and a special place in hell. In the end, he’d spent less time locked up than Paris Hilton. Sean and Christian witnessed the lethal injection, with Christian actually comforting Wesley in a rare moment of decency. Perhaps the Kimber ordeal mellowed him out. The dead Wesley looked a whole lot like Jesus, which was an over-the-top image I could have done without. Then again, it’s not like we watch this show for its subtleties.
The episode closed with Nip/Tuck’s umpteenth montage. It’s no surprise that no one looked particularly happy. Will Kimber and Christian finally make it work? Does anyone still care? And will Matt, newly out of prison and sipping a beer in the final scene, actually grow up and take some responsibility for his actions? Hope not.