Super Bowl, right? The ogres get to marry Madonna! Look, I don't know anything about football, I spent the whole day yesterday making paper dolls for Once Upon a Time and fantasizing about the upcoming "Beauty and the Beast" episode. Join me! I'm so alone, here with my bloody fingers and my piles of paper smiles. Simply print, clip, and climb under your desk at work to have an absolute ball.
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Dress her up in her leather corset pants for when she's stalking turkeys in the fairy-tale woods, or in her fetching camelhair trench for when she's stalking David Nolan at Granny's. A beret is always a nice way for a single lady to feel protected. Oh! And don't forget the pretty dress for when she goes on a date with her married boyfriend. (Whuh-oh, did I just give her red wine? Wine-stained teeth are a bitch on a date, especially if you start crying.) And of course, the wedding dress from that time they got married.
Strapping Prince Charming comes with both his fairy-tale ensemble and his real-world ensemble: a short silk kimono, plenty of panty-dropping champagne, and freshly waxed legs. Come on over to his conversation pit and listen to his thoughts on open marriage and previous life experiences.
Emma got plenty of ink waiting for Henry to get born in jail. She got her stomach tat, "Jail Mama" done during the third trimester. If you think an unborn baby's kick is precious, try receiving one when on the other side of your belly skin is a bic with a needle, plied by your cellmate/recovering meth head, name of Twitches. Emma only really wears her red jacket, but she’s always on the lookout for tight and still tighter pants for work, hitting the slopes, or simply relaxing. Pajam-a-jeggings!
Okay, so one of these is his Rumpelstiltskin costume and one of these is the jumpsuit from "Thriller," I’ll let you figure it out. This doll is going to get a lot of wear and tear, because he is all up in every storyline’s business, so maybe print out two. You can also dance him around in his skivvies if you want to reenact scenes from The Full Monty, which is something I think we both know you want to do.
I know Regina has a lot of really great outfits, but I kind of got lost just figuring out what I would want Lana Parrilla to wear to different award shows. When she wins her Emmy, I figure something kind of feminine but edgy, to display her range and show she’s not just the best Evil Queen ever. Then, for her inevitable Oscar win, maybe a little homage to the dark side but with clean lines and a long skirt to invoke Old Hollywood glamour. The red dress is for when I become a billionaire and pay her a million dollars to come to my birthday party (briefcase full of money).
Enjoy! Don’t get any paper cuts BUT, if you do, frame the bloodstained dolls and turn them into a fine art piece about commerce/internet/celebrity/authentic human audiences. And mention me by name at the gallery opening.