Once Upon a Time: Rotten Dwarf Eggs

Once Upon a Time S01E14: "Dreamy"


Okay, I'm about to hit you with some truth: last night's episode of Once Upon a Time, "Dreamy," was the worst this show had ever been. The only reason Saturday Night Live hasn't done a skit yet lampooning how ridiculous this show has become is because no one at Saturday Night Live is watching. I get that the story telling fit, and that it was an original spin on a fairy tale, but frankly I don't care. The opening was a seige of nightmarish information, including the revelations that there are no dwarf women and the permanently old dwarf men reproduce asexually by hatching out of eggs FULLY CLOTHED.

That is some nightmare stuff. If you peeled away the ren faire clothes, the idea these dwarves hatch to life on schedule and immediately start working in a mine digging up the diamonds that become fairy dust (which makes the world go round) for FOREVER once they’re born is claustrophobic. A fairytale Matrix, equal parts saddening and gross.

And the horrible romance! Grumpy and Nova the "clumsy fairy" were seriously bizarre characters, they both talked like six year olds and now I feel like I've condescended to six year olds, because even six year olds aren't this simplistic and idiotic. I don't like the implication pure-hearted people are necessarily dumb, and if that wasn't the implication, then what conclusions are we supposed to draw? Like they are staring at each other wide-eyed while telling each other that fireflies are pretty. Whatever happened to crackling banter and repartee and I don't know, charming characters that I like because they're likable and not because I feel sorry for them?

There was a conversation somewhere in there that involved a furnace and a sparkly pink backpack that sounded straight out of The Other Sister. And why did she make Dreamy climb up there and grab the fairy dust before it went into the furnace (can't believe what I'm typing)? She CAN FLY. FLY up there, dumbass. That's like someone throwing a ball at me and I let it hit my face because I forget I have arms. Anyway, the stupid couple in stupid costumes with no effing chemistry and terrible lines hatch a plan to elope in a boat (she got it somehow! stop asking so many questions!) and then Grumpy gets talked out of it the night of. He is walking to meet her with his bindle and in five minutes decides to give up his dreams! His name is Dreamy! And he was convinced by fairy lady who was a TOTAL STRANGER! The characters on this show can be talked out of relationships VERY quickly, and frankly, it makes the relationships extremely shallow.

Speaking of shallow, lightning fast relationships, how about old Belle turning up at the tavern in her one dress she owns and telling "Dreamy" about how great love is. Girl you got shaken up and thrown in a basement by a troll, please don't start in on the dwarves, please don't lead them into your abuse fantasy madness.

And the real world wasn't any better. Mary Margaret is suddenly the "Town Harlot"? Are you trying to tell me this town let David Nolan rot away in a coma, without anyone bothering to identify him or alert Kathryn for years on end, and yet suddenly everyone is super invested in their marriage and thinks Mary Margaret is a homewrecker? Like, she is being slut-shamed to the point where she has to hang out with nuns just to be able to look Granny in the face? And people are quitting her CHARITY COMMITTEE because they are so disgusted with something they may have heard a rumor about? This town is putrid.

Meanwhile Emma is strangling on her own hair. Watching her investigate the abandoned car in plastic gloves and all five pounds of her ringlets flying all over the crime scene, how many long blonde hairs do you think she'll submit as evidence? And she's just letting Sidney barge in on a possible crime scene and bring her phone records from an undisclosed source? He didn't even take down David's phone number, Emma, how the hell is he coming up with records? And then she asks David what happened and as soon as he's like "Dunno some stuff, not me." She's all "I believe you I know when people are lying its this thing I do." No, no you don't.

Just about every character in this show has lied to you and you're getting so easy to fool I kind of want Regina to just put you out of your misery already. Later in the episode she said the same thing to Sidney and he gave her this look like “Well I KNOW that’s not true because I’ve been playing you for weeks.” Do you understand how dumb Emma would seem if Jennifer Morrison wasn't playing her? We all know Jennifer M. is tough and smart and cool, in the hands of anyone else Emma would be just a damn doofus.

Admittedly, and this is the one positive thing I will say about this episode, crashing the town's lights so that everyone had to buy candles was clever. Well done! Glad the one character actually using his head as something other than a hair accessory is also the character I care least about. And now he is in love with a nun. Great, another couple I can look forward to nothing good happening for ever. And granny lights Mary Margaret's candle? I would have blown it right back out and told her to keep her distance.

I am just so worked up. They promised us a mystery storyline, they promised us a town scandal whodunit, and instead we got the least believable, most unnecessary romance so far. I don't care how it lined up or how clever or cutesy or twisty it was. I don't want to be rushed into liking a character so I like the episode anymore, I am actively tuning in to see the characters I already like and all the show does is make them more and more unlikable. Mary Margaret has turned into an insipid people pleaser and Emma is just as stupid as a bag of hair. At this point, Regina has it waaaay, waaay too easy, to the point where I almost think less of her character for even bothering with these people.

Okay, now that I've unclenched the fists I was typing with, I will always be impressed with this show just on the principle of what it is. Its original in a real and audacious way. My complaints have always been: ham-fisted, truly ham-fisted dialogue, and the way they spend entire episodes introducing characters in an attempt to avoid telling the larger story; this episode epitomized those complaints. I have reached the point (March) where I can’t I expect either of these elements will dramatically improve. I want to believe the show will do better than this, but airing this episode after last week’s misleading promo was essentially a bait and switch, and if they’re willing to do that to us, I don’t think they’re very concerned with offending their audience. Next week, please make Emma use a pony tail holder and act with some semblance of reason. Please make Mary Margaret stop dressing all in white and advocating celibacy. And please let something happen. Something. Anything.

QUESTIONS

…Were you creeped out by the troll eggs or was that ingenious?

…Were you excited to see Belle?

…Has Emma gotten progressively stupider with every passing episode?

…Have you ever had a crush on a nun?

…Mining day?

…What was YOUR opinion of the episode?

Comments (248)
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I don't understand why Grandma sudden approved of MM? Was it because she sold all the candles? 'Cos she would've sold them a lot faster if Granny had helped her out in the begining when she asked her to! So why not help her in the first place? If she cared about the nuns THAT much she wouldn't let the 'town harlot' stop her from doing a good deed!
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Lol! Tell a lie. THIS is one of your best reviews yet!
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Always love your reviews, Lily. :)
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I really did think Sidney would've rolled his eyes or something, hehe.

On the questions:

- I don't know if staring at the screen and going what the-? means it was ingenious just because I'd never have thought of it, but my mind didn't go to a matrix-like reference at the time...



- I thought it was a nice surprise seeing Belle, though I'm not sure where she was or where they were, maybe I missed something, weren't they not supposed to leave the mines? I keep hoping there'll be more to her story.



- Sometimes I think she was always that stupid, we just hadn't noticed... :P



- No...



- Haha, left-over from when they mined the dust that kept the world turning or whatnot?



This wasn't my favorite episode, but it did have some nice moments in it... As for the fairy and dreamy being stupid and having stupid dialogues... He's one year old and he lives in a mine, so no outside contact, and I'm sure she has some excuse, hehe.





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OMG, yay review was hilarious especially about the Granny/Margaret scene. You tell it like it is, love that!
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I thought the episode was cute but I can see why people are annoyed about how slow the pace is.
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Is the writer, Lily Sparks, working for another network? Why does she knock Once Upon a Time like this? This is the second time I have seen her reviews and both have been negative. If you don't like the show, Lily, go write on something else. As a fan of the show I am dismayed by your constant criticism. Every episode I've loved so far; every one!
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Yes indeed she works for another company. TV.com is actually owned by CBS. So you are right on the money!
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I dug the back-story on Grumpy and the fairy, and his grand gesture at the end was kind of neat. I also liked the short scene where Mr Gold / Rumplestilskin declared his hatred of the nuns / fairies.



The bits with Emma were a little on the dumb side.



But I can see people not liking the episode. I liked it, but it wasn't incredible. And even if it was incredible, people have different tastes.
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On the top of this page you'll see her name in blue. If you click on it it will take you to a listing of all her reviews. There you can find the progression of this show, and see that Lily as most of the folks here do indeed like the show.....just not accepting of a standard that is less than first given by the shows creators.

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""Filler" was used over 50 times to describe this episode.(from both sides)"



This is the "Pink Slime" of OUAT.
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The production process was pioneered by Eldon Roth, who in the 1980s founded Beef Products Inc., to produce frozen beef. In the 1990s, in the wake of public health concerns over pathogenic E. coli in beef, Roth developed a process to use a puff of ammonia gas to raise the pH and kill any pathogens that may be found in beef trimmings purchased from other meat production houses.

MMmmmm MMMMMmmm.

And people ask me why I still hunt for my meat!!
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I was glad to see Emilie de Ravin as Belle. However, the dwarfs hatching from eggs was beyond strange.
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BTW, IMO, Lily TV.COM is very fortunate to have you reviewing!!
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Some episodes aren't as good as others but that's the same with the fairy tales they are based on....and really, from an adult viewpoint the fairy tales this show is based on are not all that high-minded and smart. (And a lot of other tv shows have dialogue that seems so random and set that it is stereotypical) So suspend your disbelief when you watch the show and try to enjoy a premise that is one of the most different ideas I have seen in decades of tv watching. I watch to see what they will do with the next fairy tale character - I just wonder what will happen when they run out of fairy tales - is that when the evil old queen's spell is broken? I like all of the show - its the one time of the week I can relax and NOT think and most weeks that helps.



And your question about a nun - no I have never been in love with a nun but I toyed with the idea of being one for several years in my late teens.
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Of the 215 comments, there are just over 100 origin posts.

Of those 102 posts this is the breakdown:

65 HATERS

37 LOVERS

Of the 65 haters, a majority found something they liked.

Of 37 lovers, a majority found something they didn't like.



"Filler" was used over 50 times to describe this episode.(from both sides)

Of the 4 review sites I have checked this "poll" represents an accurate concensus.

IMO, if 2/3 of my potential "customers" were dissatisfied with my performance on the job I would strive to improve immediately!!

FIX IT !!

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Chas, are you in quality assurance? This sounds eerily like the kind of statistics brought up at annual reviews...
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Actually, no. I just hate to see a good premise go to waste. Plus, I just finished watching the best TV show I've seen in a very long time. Breaking Bad. That is a well-crafted piece of art!! The show's creator Vince Gilliigan has shown me that tv does NOT have to be "meh, good enough".

Thanks for the info on L.Brackett. I left a response for you in your TV.com inbox.
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Hi. I agree with your basic conclusion. May I suggest, however, that the term 'hater' is a bit strong. As I type this, I wonder if this is a point too picky to even post, but thing is, there really are 'haters' in the world, and they do a lot of harm. To equate criticism with hate may risk weakening what the word 'hate' really means, and the real harm that it causes.



I do agree completely that there is no point in ever having 'filler episodes', given the amount of acting, directing and writing talent that is out there, much of it unemployed. Out of respect for your fan base, wouldn't you want to always produce a good product? And BTW, wasn't there just some sort of film festival where this episode represented OUAT? If this was really meant to just be a 'filler' episode, why would the producers select this one to represent the show at a major festival? I dunno - I just keep coming back to thinking that the writers need help, but seem to be among the last people to know it. (Then again, if the show stays strong in ratings, I suppose that, from at least one perspective, there is really no reason to 'fix' anything.)
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Agreed, please disregard hater/lover and replace with dislike/like. That was MY tone no the posters.



" If this was really meant to just be a 'filler' episode, why would the producers select this one to represent the show at a major festival? "

No answer, other than a requirement of judging to be the latest episode, certainly NOT my choice!!



"just keep coming back to thinking that the writers need help"

I have to disagree here. 14 episodes, written by 10 writing teams??? Sounds more to me that the chosen writers are too busy with OTHER projects(most are working other show concurrently) to be available for rewrites.



"Then again, if the show stays strong in ratings" This is the freshman season. How long, and how patient will fans be?? According to the replies here and other fan sites not much longer. 2/3 agree that something is amiss. They are coming away disappointed. One of the strongest comments again and again is " I WANT TO LIKE IT BUT........."

So, there is time to fix this, but should the rating #s begin to fall, they will never recover no matter the quality or depth due to the assumption of cycling back to "fillers"!!



"from at least one perspective, there is really no reason to 'fix' anything"

I agree, if this is "just a job" march on. If this is the craft you chose and this represents your artistic touch. CLEAN YOUR BRUSH!!!

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Completely agreed that their prime demographic, adult women, will begin drifting away if the episodes do not become more compelling. Focus on the primary characters and their relationships, write them smartly and well, have the more peripheral stories be 'icing', and I think that this show would have legs. But after 14 episodes, the writing is become more, not less, sloppy.



I agree that this show could be excellent, and the cast never disappoints. However, it feels more and more like the writers are just phoning it in. The greatest mystery that these writers have presented to their audience, thus far, is their own inconsistency. (I had no idea that there have already been 10 writing teams - where's the wisdom in that?) One would think that the producers would be on their knees thanking their fan base for attempting to be so loyal (232 postings on this site alone!), and scrambling to maintain that loyalty by offering more consistent quality. But they simply haven't, and I agree that this is at their own peril.
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I'm wondering if the different writing teams are following different story arcs? Maybe the reason this show is moving so slowly is because only certain people are allowed to play with different plotlines. That could explain some of the inconsistencies as well...
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From Horowitz & Kitsis interview 3/2/12

H:"You want your audience to be attached to characters and to see people really feel..."

K:We love Emilie so much. We love what she's done with the character [of Belle] and we are excited to show you some more with her. And there's more this season." Kitsis confirmed

H:"We have big ideas about the show and where we would like to take it," Horowitz revealed. "But right now we're really focusing on the season we have, and finishing it out."



With all that said, these creators have only been responsible for only 5 of the 14 episodes. Now, if this is the level of commitment we as an audience can anticipate, the results will be self-prophesying!!
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I have the feeling some people just don't get this show...
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It might've been better as a mini-series and not a girl soap ;p
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Wow. You called it a girl soap. You're intelligence is clearly beyond a third grade level.
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Some third graders know the difference between "your" and "you're".
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Srry I "flagged" you by mistake - should have been a thumb up !
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So the nuns sold 42 candles last year. It was not 40, it was not 45: it was exactly 42, and apparently even that ridiculous fairy-nun can remember that.



This episode was a lesson about faith; the nuns didn't lose it this year and crafted a thousand candles! Even better, M. Margaret and the dwarf managed to sell them all at the town's greatest event!



Really, what are they expecting by using this kind of cliche, bad placed reference to Lost? OUT was never good in the small things, but I always gave it a chance. I tried to see its charm when I'd normally brand it as 'cheesy'. And in a broader way, the show managed to be interesting, creative, so I didn't have a hard time trying to enjoy it. Until now. It's no longer interesting, since the main plot is almost forgotten (so, how is 'Operation Cobra' going? How long Regina doesn't take a 'You evil witch' in the face?) and all we get is M. Margaret selling candles at the 'Mining Day'; It's no longer creative, since all they do is to introduce new characters built around progressively cheaper romances (I wish 'lil' Red do not have a romance-wise story, specially with the wolf). In this kind of situation, it's hard to see the positive side of the show; actually, it's hard to not feel a bit offended...



I just hope things change to better. I do not want to lose another show, that's all.
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An episode like "Dreamy" reminds me that there are kids watching the show, too. I hope they enjoyed it. I thought it was pretty weak and the dialogue was lame at times. It didn't move the main plot forward at all. Kind of a stand alone episode. Emma's 'investigation' was almost not existent. I didn't think there was any chemistry between Dreamy/Grumpy and Nova. There's no reason why they can't write shows that appeal to kids and adults. It's been done before. .
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Odd, I actually thought it was one of the better episodes. A lot of this has to do with how much I miss Amy Acker from the Angel days and this being really the first role she has played the was similar to Fred. Idiots keep casting her in dark gloomy roles like in Drive, Supernatural, Dollhouse, and recently Grimm. Other than her, the episode was more enjoyable for me because I don't really care for the usual main characters(Especially in the Present) but I really liked the Dwarf character in both forms.



As for the complaints about why characters don't seem to act realistically or rationally ... It's a fantasy show! Save that kind of critical analysis for shows like Justified or even The Walking Dead. It doesn't make sense to point out flaws in a show where absolutely anything can happen at any time. Maybe the fricking wings don't work indoors or the goddess of the Moon has to give her magical pixie blessing before faeries can fly, I dunno.

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It was a bad episode but come on , 3/4 of the review of the bad things then a small paragraph about how the show is good , you girl must be more optimistic !

This episode still way better than relaty shows and the 90% episodes of stupid Terra Nova!
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Amen!
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Wow, 206 postings! I hope that the producers of OUAT appreciate how much we want to like this show. Looking through the posts, some ask (not a direct quote): 'Why don't you folks just enjoy the show for what it is? What more can one expect of a fantasy that needs to be appropriate for kids as well as adults? ' Valid enough questions, as the rest of us do, admittedly, keep carping on these writers. But I'd respond by simply saying 'J.K. Rowling'. She writes for both, and there is a 'deliciousness' about opening a book that I know will take me back to the magic of childhood, sorta like a night before Christmas, while at the same time entertain my adult mind with authentic characters and engaging relationships.



And the same trick is accomplished, not just by an uber-author like Rowling, but by lesser mortals, too. Just look at the writers of, yep, OUAT itself, about 25% of the time. It occurs to me that the greatest mystery that these writers have presented to their audience, thus far, is their own inconsistency.



Admitting that this is presumptuous, I have 2 suggestions for the writers: First, have your peeps look into the predictable pitfalls of group decision-making. In some ways, several heads are better than one, but problems can arise. I would guess that you folks sometimes fall prey to what I'll simply call 'The Emperor Has No Clothes' syndrome - in other words, you become so entranced by the cleverness in the room that you fail to spot ideas that simply stink. Second, hire another writer, someone of sufficient prominence so that s/he won't be intimidated by the 'Lostie' frat atmosphere, and make sure that writer never comes within 500 miles of wherever this show is written and shoots. Select someone with a rep for putting smart dialogue into the mouths of smart characters. Then, while a script is in development, and without having any discussion with the writing team, have that person red-flag any dialogue that is particularly inane, and any plot themes that are particularly ridiculous or simply distracting. You guys maintain the control, as the outside consultant doesn't re-write, s/he would simply red-flag the stuff that (seriously. folks) needs re-consideration before the show is filmed.



Give it a try. Forget about the rest of the world. Do it for me. Sunday is my best night to pop some popcorn, put my feet up, and watch TV. I really, really want to like this show.

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I say to haters if they dislike it so much they can use their remote and watch some adult programs with old rich geezers in smoking jackets surrounded by other ''Snow Whites'' on crack with daddy issues. They have fantasy stuff too. lol
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The only good part of the episode was when the dwarves were whistling 'Hi Ho'. That was awesome. I love Amy Acker, but this episode was dreadful.
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When Granny lit Mary Margaret's candle, I expected her to take a line from Blazing Saddles, "Of course, you'll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke to you."
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This show has only one real problem: writing.

The dialogue could be so much more fantastic and should be able to help elevate everything else. That is what I would really like to see (or hear, I guess).



And as for you people who are disgusted by the dwarf's reproductive system: They are Fairytale dwarfs, not real dwarfs. If you can't accept the weird and strange, then how can you accept anything in fairytale-land? Just because it creeps you out, doesn't mean it's not 'true' (If you think dwarf egs are creepy, then the original Snow White fairytale is a regular horrorstory)

:-)
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It would have been so cool if that was a dragon hatchery...



I can accept a whole lot of weird, IF it's well-written. The key is internal logic. So far, there's been so much thrown out that it's difficult to get a coherent timeline, much less figure out why things work or don't.



I know from watching my friends and family watch "LOST" (not me, I confess) that some of these folks are really good at torturing and confusing their viewers. I wish they'd resist that impulse this time around, or at least give us a scorecard!
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I just want to know how the eggs get laid. Those things were huge!
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Once upon a time, when on a Sunday, i saw the worst episode of them all.



The stories are getting less and less interesting.
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Wow. I was coming here to slate the hell out of this truely awful episode. Thankfully, you've saved me the effort (mostly).



No progress in finding erm... whats her name? Don't care. Yes Emma has gotten dumber, yes the reaction of the town to the whole Mary Margaret affair was completely unrealistic and far too over the top, Amy Ackers fairy was pathetic - that was not a highlight in her career - every time the charater was on screen (as fairy or nun) she was doing something dumb and clumsey - we're not idiots like the Once Upon A Time characters, we got it after the first 10 minutes.



The last episodes of this and The River were probably the worst episodes I've seen this year (from a show that I actually watch - so that doesn't include Whitney). With shows like Supernatural and Fringe going on a pointless hiatus TV is really bleak right now.
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Okay, Lily here I go:

- What a terrible filler episode and between the fairies, dwarfs and eggs it was so cringe worthy. - Seriously, where is the show we all fell in love with? The writers keep throwing some reveals to make us think they are moving the story forward but nothing is happening! I'm sorry but you can't use the "longevity excuse" to explain the pacing and the other problems.... I'm all for dragging some stuff but I also need some progression, LEARN FROM REVENGE!!!!!!

- Overall, this episode was the worst one yet. They seriously have to work on the progression of the story, the character development and Emma...... I mean as a lead character, she's not interesting at all.



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Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought this episode was terrible. I love OUAT but this was something else... truly cringe worthy
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Really really bad episode! The dwarves were... Words cant describe how bad they were! And I was wondering who lays those eggs too!!!

Totally agree that SOMETHING needs to happen in this show. I like it, will keep watching but they really need to move it along!



AND PLEASE CUT EMMA's HAIR
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Amy Acker ftw! :D
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1.Confused mostly,but , yeah, a little creeped out.

2.Not really,she was basically forgotten about till then lol.

3.Yeah, I mean why trust someone who had basically been the Mayors lackey , I mean REALLY?

4.I was raised Catholic so..Yeah! LMAO

5.Kinda stupid.

6.They need to try a little harder if they want to keep some of us as fans , I mean, seriously..A fairy who for gets how to fly? People fall in and out of love like tweens..it's frustrating , and just lazy! Give the characters some depth damn it!





I just don't get it!If the dwarfs HATCH from EGGS then WHO or WHAT LAYS THEM???
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Episode #15 "Red Handed"

Director Ron Underwood

Writer Jane Espenson

Synopsis: Emma hires Ruby to help her, and give the woman a chance to determine what she's good at. Meanwhile, Emma questions David about his possible involvement in Kathryn's disappearance, while in the fairytale world, Red Riding Hood and her fellow villagers are trapped in their village by a bloodthirsty wolf.



We've already been subjected to Espenson's writing in EPS #5,8, and 12. With her background I'm going to point a bony finger directly at her and say "She's the one!!" , as I believe she is responsible for the HACK job editing on Skin Deep, and the ridiculous dialog of eps.5 & 8.

Look for a series of shout-outs to any of a dozen other shows during the snail-slow investigation by Emma of where David/PC's involvement lies in Katherine's disappearance(I hope she's handing out head shots!!). Emma, in a brilliant flash of genius, hires Ruby to see what she is good at!!?? (move over Barney Fife !!)

On the Fairytale side, Red Riding Hood and her fellow villagers are trapped in their village by a bloodthirsty wolf. This is where I expect Ron Underwood to either shine or trip over his laces. This is an opportunity to restore OUaT to it's audience's expectations. A character development that can either bring an ancillary character into the spotlight, or simply lay another dwarf egg!!

Mehgan Ory as Ruby has been eye-candy up to this point. I hope we're not left wth just a crumpled up wrapper on the Storybrooke streets.

Low expectaions for this team. High hopes that something goes RIGHT!!
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Obviously Emma's never hired a deputy before.. Red can't possibly do much worse, can she? And as a Storybrooke resident she can furnish Emma with some background info on the inhabitants which we as viewers badly need.



Despite Emma's background, she doesn't know "the mean streets" of Storybrooke. Ruby struck me as almost predatory during the girls' night out; I'm guessing she knows every bad boy in Storybrooke. And maybe she can counteract the misleading info Sydney's pushing?
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At this point, I'd settle for a PROCEDURAL!! Dialog, depth, and delivery....and now we need to add Desire?? There are already so many threads hanging out in the breeze that the tapestry that was is now a hall runner!! Graham's death, the Gilded Knight's near appearance, Beauty & the Beast, the writer's 1 whole page, contents of the mine, a disappearing princess, ETC, ETC, ETC....

I have to wonder if each weekly writer is even leaving his/her notes behind for the following week??! Sure doesn't seem to be the case.

I've yet to see the reasoning for the creators attitude towards this show?? Toss the script on the table, walk out the door and don't look back?? Lost?? Seems that they may be just THAT!!
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My one fear is that they're working off some 3-year plan. Drop this morsel of info here, wait 6 episodes so viewers forget, then bring it back up as a key plot point...Sneaky!



I'm sure there's a reason for these choices- I'm not sure what it is tho. And I still want to know what's in the newest edition of the Book!
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3 Yr plan???

"Holy Time Capsule, Batman!!"

"Quick Robin, to the Beta-Max!!"
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I don't like these romances I'm not invested in - when Abigail got a romance, that was so much better because I already knew her and made her more likable. I want a central storyline and then these can come in as fillers for all I care, but now it doesn't do anything for me at all.

I did love it when they started whistling that song in going down the mines. Made me want to watch the original Disney movie again xD
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Quit adding more romances already, just deal with the ones you've got OUaT! Otherwise it's just adding more and more story lines that go nowhere. And yes, Emma has gotten much, much stupider. Also I didn't think wrecking the generator was all that smart, never mind buying candles, I would have just left the party altogether.
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I agree with a lot of what you've said regarding this episode and show. I do think that Emma's getting stupider by the minute. Dwarfs hatching from eggs, fully clothed and as adults, come on!! A lot of crap happened here. It sucks as it was true before that Emma could tell when someone was lying to her, but that talent has seriously passed her by. I hope they get back on track. I thought Snow & Prince Charming/ Mary Margaret & David had the best relationship on the show. Now, they are killing what I loved about them.
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SO disappointed with this episode. This show started off with so much promise... Glad to read a review that sums up how stupid it's getting.



Most disappointing: Amy Acker being such an IDIOT! I expect better from you, Amy. You should have been out of there the second you saw that pink-cupcake outfit they picked out for you.
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I triple concur - with every single one of your recaps. Laughing out loud to your reviews = nice. Laughing out loud to Once Upon a Time = sad. And laugh out loud I did - as soon as the opening scene started. I thought I was watching one of my 5 year old daughter's shows by mistake. Then I realized that my 5 year old daughter doesn't watch crap like that. As someone who has personally eavesdropped on many a 6 year old conversation (ok 5 year old, whatever), I have to believe, at this point, that the dialogue is written by, at best, a 4 year old.



I come back for more because I really really really really want to love this show. Weird. Maybe the creators/writers/kindergartner costume designers are actually evil geniuses who have found the secret to keep us hanging on? I am very much looking forward to the Red episode. See? How do they DO it??
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The best part about last week's episode was the preview for next week.



Don't let me down Red!!
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I agree 100% with you, especially here: "Do you understand how dumb Emma would seem if Jennifer Morrison wasn't playing her? We all know Jennifer M. is tough and smart and cool, in the hands of anyone else Emma would be just a damn doofus."

I hoped more for this episode, but it was nice. I'm excited for see "Red Handed"! And yes, I wanna see Belle :D
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1. creepy

2. yes, very

3. very studpid to begin with

4. no

5.?

6. I kind of liked it. I just dont get your complaints. It wasn't that different from previous episodes and if you kept up with them i see no reason to turn in to a fury fireball of firey fists hammering on a keyboard all the flaws the show had from the very start. I thought the idea of grumpy being the dwarf previously known as dreamy was great. And the implications of it. As usual the writers let us guess there level of skill in creating these wonderful overal stories with generally great charcters just to top it off with clunky dialogue my nice in elementary school wouldn't write. Isn't it kind of a fools errand to question the logic of series that is based on an inherent illogical concept?
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I have to admit Lily, from the first scene with the fairies in the clouds, their doily dresses, bad 80's prom hair and gaudy jewelry, all I was thinking of was what YOU were going to write and that gave me a chuckle. Is it bad that I now watch the show only so I can read your hilarious blog reviews and brilliant captions? This show has become such a disappointment! Premise is awesome we all agree, but they have lost their way. There is no real reason why we should root for the fairytale characters while they are in their Storybrooke limbo. David is spineless, MM is pathetic and Emma is gullible. I am not convinced that is Regina getting any pleasure out of this boring-ass spell. The writers don't give us a reason. I think back to the intriguing first few episodes and can't believe this is the same show! I wish I could tell Ginnifer Goodwin to run for her life and her career.
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That compliment really makes my day. I also think of the way the OUaT commenters are going to react when I see something crazy happen on OUaT (aka between the commercial breaks). I couldn't watch this show without getting to discuss it with y'all. Its simply too crazy to keep to myself.
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Meh. Blah. Ehhh. *Shrug*



I don't know if this was the worst episode, but it sure was boring. I actually liked most of the Dreamy story, especially the end of both worlds, where he turned into Grumpy in the fairy tale world and his plan to sell the candles in the real world. Still... boring.



Also, I'm starting to hate Emma. "You really don't know, do you?" I hate that line. Also as bad was the whole "I know when someone's telling the truth" stuff.
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Yeah can you imagine a cop pulling you over, asking you a question and then being like "You really don't know, do you?" She is just a terrible, terrible sheriff and I think she's also the only cop in town now that Graham is gone. If I were a thief in storybrooke I'd just wait to hear Emma's hair dryer going and then slip out and steal cars and break windows and what not.
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I thought that the eggs were interesting. I don' t think the eggs are any worse than the LoR where it only appears that there are no female dwarfs because they all have beards. I agree with you about the Matrix thing, but it also seems like there is an element of the asexual bestfriend about them. Is it just me or is the first thing women in the fairytale world do after a bad break-up is go hang out with a bunch of dwarfs? Speaking of dwarfs I thought Nova and dreamy did make a cute couple. After all Dreamy was one and who knows how fairies age, it felt like the reverse of when they get kids to play roles as if they were adults. As a result, this was the first time I didn't feel like throwing anything when Dreamy was easily persuaded the relationship wouldn't work. It's like a child falling in love and having his parents explain to him that they can't be together. Naturally the child trusts the parent becuase this is the first time his parent has led him in the wrong direction. I especially liked how the end of his relationship literally made Dreamy become Grumpy. I totally thought Grumpy was punning a few episodes back when he said that to Snow, but he was comepletely literal; relationships in the fairytale world literal make you who you are. Furthermore, it was interesting that the real world Grumpy ended up in a happier place than fairytale Grumpy. I think it's the first time this has happended. Although, where exactly did Grumpy get the pick-axe. I know its miners day but having picks like that just lying around seems dangerous. Plus, I am excited for next week when Red finally gets her episode. How badass did Granny look with that crossbow?
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"Granny with a crossbow"- she's turned out to be a feistier character than initially presented (I would have liked to see her ride off on August's motorcycle!) Any thoughts on Granny's backstory? You don't get grandkids without having kids, y'know...
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How about this, Lily... quit watching the show. Seriously. You obviously do not like it, no matter what you have said in the past.



I loved this episode. I saw nothing wrong with it. And I'm sure that opinion is shared by a lot of other people, too.



All I can say is, maybe you should stop watching it, if it upsets you so damn much.
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I agree. Give this show to Tim Surette to review, who writes much more intelligent articles (with less pictures)

What the hell do you expect from a fairytale land Sister?
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Apparently, "that opinion" is NOT shared by a majority of the commenters. Lily, if you quit reviewing, there'll be no reason left to watch the show. DON'T STOP!
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apparently it is. I love OUAT but this episode was terrible, don't try and fool yourself here
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Sorry, but I'm with JolarEQ. People need to realize that this show is about FAIRY TALES!!! Even in the modern-Maine scenes, they're still trapped FAIRY TALE characters. All of Lily's reviews are mean-spirited and nit-picky. This is a show that my husband, daughters and I can all watch together, and we all enjoy it. Watch it through the eyes of a child instead of through pseudo-sophistication, and it's actually an excellent show. Face it: most of the people who are "oh, boo...this show is being lame" are just trying to show how "grown-up" they are. Get over it. (Oh, and the Emma's hair jokes wore thin weeks ago.)
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Here Here!

Lily, is sitting in Starbucks sipping on her latte while writing her OUAT review on her Ipad, just biding her time waiting for the next Sex and the City type show to rear it's ugly head.

As for the grown ups comment, can't agree more and this probably explains all the hating on Henry.
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I like watching with my almost-10 year old son... he's guessed a couple of the plot twists! I'm almost wondering if the writers WANT us so annoyed that we throw things at the TV (proves they've done their job by making us care, like the boys in school who torment the girl they have a crush on).



I like seeing the pictures because they make me laugh and I need things to laugh about right now. And did it occur to you that it's LILY'S job to evoke an emotional response in her readers? I seem to recall her saying that in her review of "Whatever Happened to Frederick?" Even people who complain had to read the review in order to complain about it, and a writer's gotta at least enjoy the discussion.
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It was great to see Amy Acker, but I think they could have made her character a little better. I didn't mind the whole Egg and Dwarves thing, as scary as it is. I will say the show seems a little stagnate and could use a bit of chaos. I look forward to more excitement in future episodes!
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No / Yes / Oh God Yes / Several / Sure! / overall 6/10
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if you pick up an axe it would say....grumpy
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Meh, the dwarf and the nun had zero chemistry indeed, I wasn't impressed by their storyline either. Great to see Belle again but bizarre setting to say the least. Little towns do love their harlots, couldn't live without the gossip.
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Oh well, in its current state, I don't like what the show is doing with its Lovestory of the week and the way its characters are heading (why not give Mary Margarete and David some room?) And why did no one think of a search party for Kathryn? How often do people leave their cars after an accident and wander off? But right, let's assume she was murdered first ;).
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I'm just glad that creepy Kathryn is finally gone; she was just a whiny waste of space. Too bad the town has gone nuts over MM and David's affair - are they the first people who have done this sort of thing in this goofy burg?? I think not. The writers need to ease up on that ridiculous concept, and then give Emma some common sense. Those two items would help bring this show back to where it needs to be, I think. Hope they can do this...
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The episode was dumb, but I'm probably a little less invested in it than you are, so I hated it considerably less. I have started watching this show to substitute for smoking/doing drugs/other bad things, because I think 1 hour of this a week and I'm losing about the same amount of brain cells. Hard to believe that Henry wasn't even in this episode, and it was still idiotically childish and stupid, isnt it? Here's to hoping the remainder of the season gives us more of the mystery writer and Regina killing people and MORE of little Red Riding Hood, please...she's gorgeous O_o
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Yeah, where did writer guy disappear to? Maybe he had an encyclopedia set to bind or something.
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I think the Cinderella episode took the cake for worst episode.



I didn't find it nearly as mindnumbing as the reviewer did but yeah. I thought the Stonybrooke aspect of things was more interesting. I do hate misleading promos but I'm so accustomed to them that I don't even bother buying into them anymore. I thought the relationship being forged between Mary Margaret and Leroy was kind of entertaining.I'm rather fond of Leroy/Grumpy and some of his scenes with Mary reminded me of that really great scene with Grumpy and Snow a while back.



I think the Town Harlot business is a bit excessive. For one, it's so archaic and hypocritical that it's agitating to watch, but the fact that it is still going on and is this excessive makes it truly uninspired at this point. Her getting shunned...David experiencing no backlash of his own...or as it was pointed out the fact that David sat in a hospital yards away from his own fiancee and no one finds it problematic that she never thought to check the sole hospital in all of Stonybrooke? Anyhoo. David being taken in was inevitable but I still would love to know who the HECK works at the station with Emma?!! And I agree that chica needs to tame the mane.
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Emma is all alone in that poor sad police station. I don't think they need to worry about crimes in Storybrook because everyone is too damn dumb to commit one. Those Storybrookians are more likely to drown in their own cereal bowls than figure out how to pick a lock or hotwire a car.
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Except for Sydney- he's good at being bad!
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Every time someone mentions how Emma works all alone at the police station, I'm reminded of the time she got the call FROM the police station.
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Call forwarding? or an invisible secretary?
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Didn't dislike the episode. Okay, I do admit that it was strange in a few ways, but it was okay. As for Emma getting stupider, I don't know. I don't think so. But Henry gets more and more annoying each episode it goes by. Sometimes I wonder if he really knows that the mayor is actually the Evil Queen, or if he just thinks that she is.
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