AIIIIIIEEEEEEE Mary Margaret and John Doe finally kissed!!!! Clap your hands and stomp your feet, get out the good wine and pour it over my head because I BEEN WAITING LORD! (Man it is hard to type while clapping my hands and stomping my feet.)
In the interest of realness, this kiss came moments after I hollered at the TV that Once Upon a Time is the worst show ever because it consistently punishes its fans, and vowed to dedicate myself to a massive letter-writing campaign until the showrunners created a savior character modeled after myself who would come to town and slap every single character straight across the face. (Stage slap, of course, these actors are national treasures!) Because leading up to this kiss, these two characters were really hard to watch. Mary Margaret started this episode as a stalker with upper notes of a Cathy cartoon, flying around her apartment in a tizzy and preening in the reflection on a spoon before she got her stalk on.
Then she found a snowy white dove in the woods and took it to the animal shelter, where she knows John Doe works, and let everybody know she was driving to the woods as a huge storm was rolling in, with the intention of returning the dove to its flock so it wouldn't end up alone, teaching grade school and sharing an apartment with a blonde drifter. The side eye she and Josh Dallas were exchanging while the vet described how lonely and downtrodden the dove would end up without its little dove partner was pretty hilarious.
Isn't it sooo embarrassing when you take an animal to the shelter or the vet and their problems clearly reflect your problems? Like when your dog gets sick from licking up all your tears or eating too much of your junk food or it hasn't been taking its pills because you've been taking its pills and when the vet is like "Why are you taking this dog's pills?" you're all "BECAUSE MY HEART IS FULL OF WORRRMS!!!" You know what I'm talking about.
So, still caught up in a fit of bad ideas, Mary Margaret drove up into the woods alone, climbed to the tippy-top of a cliff with the dove and preceded to fall down a mountain like a ragdoll because she heard a loud noise, ultimately dangling off what looked to be the edge of the earth, holding on by a single root.
When Josh Dallas turned up to save her, and saw this yawning hellmouth, I loved his offhand comment that "Someone should bring this up with town council!" Please do. Also let Snow's fave author Jules Verne up in heaven know, because he's been wanting to take a journey to the center of the earth and from where you guys are standing all he'll have to do is jump.
So the rain broke overhead and the couple took shelter in a conveniently abandoned cabin, and Mary Marg was all like "OMG I have so many complicated feelings for you, congratulations on the baby." Because she thinks his wife might be pregnant. He managed to be a real jerk, telling her he had feelings for absolutely everyone involved, baby or not. So she ran out into the clearing storm to release the dove because this dove is HEEERRR FLY FREEE. Oh Mary Margaret, why did you have to become the crazy pigeon lady? Dating is hard, but you should never let it make you the crazy pigeon lady, using birds to indirectly communicate your feelings like so many hand puppets.
Meanwhile, in the long long ago beforetimes, Mary Margaret was the self-sufficient Snow White, spear-hunting turkeys and getting groceries and girl talk from Red (when they don't have her in Amy Winehouse makeup, EGADS she is hot).
Red informed her that Prince Charming was going to be getting married in a couple days and suggested that Rumpelstilskin could help her deal, so from him Snow secured a potion that erased her love! Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind lawyers, please ignore.
Prince Charming, for his part, was defying his "father" over the marriage because he was still in love with Snow, going so far as to send a dove with the message "Like me? Yes/No/Maybe" which intercepted her moments before she drank the hard lemonade Rumpelstiltskin gave her.
So Snow obligingly picked a bunch of Gerber daisies and sneaked into the palace, narrowly missing the prince and getting thrown into prison by a guard. Basically the episode let us know that, long before these two got to Storybrooke, their communication sucked. A relationship, for them, was like quantum physics for everybody else.
In the castle prison, Snow White met Grumpy the dwarf, and then his brother Stealthy (okay fine, show, I love you again. Stealthy!?!) broke them out. When he and Grumpy were captured and Stealthy was immediately killed, Snow risked her life and mission to save Grumpy, and then got a talking-to from the luxuriously robed king. He ordered her to convince Prince Charming she didn't love him, or the king would kill him! She looked really confused and was like, "You'd kill your son?" and the king shot back "He's NOT MY SON!" Great job at keeping your own state secrets, your majesty. Why not just take off your dirty, lacy underwear and fan those in front of her face, too? Isn't the prince switch supposed to be a hugely secret deal? Whatever.
So in a truly heartbreaking scene, Snow White told the Prince she didn't love him, and Josh Dallas broke down in tears hearing those words come out of Ginnifer Goodwin's mouth. It was very Method; Josh Dallas for real loves Ginnifer Goodwin and they probably have this same conversation in her trailer on a weekly basis every time they run lines together.
Snow left the palace and Grumpy and his six brother dwarfs found her and took her in. She was about to finally down that hard lemonade love cure, but Grumpy asked her to hold off, telling her pain makes us who we are, especially in his case (HAHAHAHA oh Grumpy). Is this a profound truth? Does the twisting effect of grief and loss have a value? It teaches us to be wary, sure, but it also sets up a world in which you start limiting your choices to protect yourself and eating your dog's medication just to get through the day.
And while we're digging deep, how indulgent was that little speech by Poor Man's Graham? Emma backed him into a corner about why he was in town, and he gave her a monologue that neatly encapsulated the writers' whole mission statement. His box is analogous to the show (and Lost, in retrospect) and Emma is a stand-in for the viewers, and while none of us know what the hell is going on in that box we are sticking around because we want to find out, and he knows damn well that the second he makes it clear what is up with the box we will all stop caring. And also, he's a writer! THANK YOU, OUaT WRITERS, WE GET IT. Subtlety. I'm guessing Poor Man's Graham is the one who wrote the book Henry is basing all of his neuroses on. He's not the illustrator, though, because he appears to have both eyes and doesn't have Johnny-Trumaine style flesh flippers for hands.
Anyway, just when I thought the show was going to reset to John Doe and MaryM moping for each other from afar, they bumped into each other at the coffee shop when they least expected to and had one of OUaT's signature chases that turned into a passionate kiss and I had a moment of happiness and reinstated OUaT as a series recording on my DVR. Yes, in fairytale flashback land things were not going so well: Prince Charming abandoned his marriage, but Snow White had already taken the love potion and forgotten him. Not really a concern though, because pilot: He kissed her, she recognized him. NBD.
This is kind of a big deal, though:
I love that Lana was just glaring at them from her car. It says a lot about how effective she is as a villain that this moment was made better because it pissed Regina off. Although honestly, just a good moment.
This whole episode did a lot to win me back after the unnecessary Graham killing (Never Forget You Graham 2011-2011)—the seamless way the writers incorporated the dwarfs, the sense of humor with Stealthy, and finally some kind of positive thing happening for a main character. Thank you, OUaT. We needed that.
Questions:
... Will the series backpedal, or are Mary Margaret and John Doe a couple for realsies now?
... Graham-Lite is the author of the story book, right? Or will his character, in a startling reveal, actually be a writer for OUaT and this show will get just that meta?
... Red Riding Hood: Possibly the fairest of them all? Do you think the show will collapse her with Rose Red, the folkloric sister and complement of Snow White?
... Would you drink a love cure if you couldn't be with the person you loved, or does heartbreak make us better people/dwarfs?
I agree, stranger is the author of the book. and he came back now that things are changing. the ending was very good, even though as you said Snow remembers him when they kiss, though I think she said "you found me", maybe something else happens? I love Snow, dont like Mary Margaret that much.
Did anyone catch when Snow told Red she'd helped her when no one else would? I would love if we could see what that was all about. I want details on Red's backstory already.
I laughed so hard when I saw regina staring at them, her glare was so funny and you just knew when they kissed In broad daylight she would be there... you think mary margaret and david would have at least gone behind a building or something. on a side note miss graham too <3 the new hot guy is okay but damn he was so fine
This was so hilarious! I couldn't breathe for a while there! Another awesome review!
- I agree with you. He may have been the one who wrote the book that is with Henry.
- Red shouldn't wear her Amy Winehouse makeup at all. She looks gorgeous as the fairytale character.
anyone notice bad guy from Lost is the King who says ''he is not my son''[Mr. Whitmore]? He guest on POI awhile back.
I just realized the last screen capture you made of Regina... this shop called Modern Fashions? HAHAHA yes, we know this is not the fairytale flashback.
On a side note.... please make John Doe's wife pregnant with Rumpelstiltskin's seed of evil. GIVE JOSH DALLAS A BREAK
I laughed when the King yelled "He is NOT MY SON!" to Snow. Don't you just hate it when you let out a HUGE secret for the sake of dramatic effect?
Stealthy was just too silly to get a laugh out of me. Also, he really didn't live up to his name considering how easily they were found by the King and his men.
Also, this back-n-forth convo was hilarious:
What's in the box?
It's frustrating not knowing, huh?
Tell me what's in the box.
You really wanna know what's inside it, don't you?
No! Well, maybe.
OH DEAR...it just occurred to me that as Rumpelstiltskin has some of Snow White's hair, he can whip up another batch of love-erase potion at any time and erase MM's feelings for John Doe. Don't drink any open shasta colas from Mr. Gold MM!!!!
or vicy versy!! No reason John Doe can't be his next victim with her hair as well.
Is it just me or is replacement Graham either a) a brother Grimm, or b) descended from the brothers Grimm?
So...still a little disgruntled with this show. But it's safe to say I've moved into the "curl up in a ball on the couch and give this show the side-eyed and make the occasional disapproving-church-lady noise" instead of the "give up hope, stop watching now" category. Am most interested in Red's back story and whatever it is that Snow helped her with when no one else would. (Mostly because I've been a big Meghan Ory fan for like, years back.) Graham-lite has great eyes, but he's still not Graham. :(
Stealthy the Dwarf LOL loved the episode though!
Yeh, that one made me groan a little.
I'd be OK with "Sneaky" but Stealthy was just a bit lame.
The rest of the episode was quite solid.
The chapter was awesome!!!!
I really think that guy who isn't Graham is the one who wrote the book, but I really don't like him, I don't stand him, maybe in the future if he has a very outstanding story line (I don't think so, Snow is the best) I'd probably stand him, right now he's a big NO
Mary Margaret and John Doe yayyyyyy!!!!!
The sappy on me was ecstatic!!!!
Waiting for the next one!!!!
The series better make them a couple after that kiss, I will be so mad if they just separate them again...
That guy who isn't Graham should go away, I seriously don't even care if he is some god-like meta character who wrote the book, how could they finally get Emma and Graham together and kill him off right after? So awful...
I thought that modern and fairytale Red were two different actresses, they are so different it's crazy.
I dunno if dealing with heartbreak makes you a better person or not, but it definitely makes you a more well-rounded (and thus, a more interesting) person. Dealing with that bad stuff is just a part of life and by running away from it you're running away from life. So quit being a baby, suck it up and move on. Maybe you might just learn something and grow a bit while you're at it. But then again don't just give up on your true love. Seriously, Snow just folds so easy, don't be a quitter, anything worth having is worth fighting for!moreless
" I want them to be a united force ASAP and move in together and be a time warp nuclear family with Emma."
Lily, I'll bet you're one of those that jumps to the last page of the book aren't you???
"Patience, Danielson."
I totally am. You called it. I will get two chapters in and its like, do I want to dedicate 20 hours to getting more sad, or is this going to pay off? You know me too well.
OK, try different material!! If you care enough about the characters, you'll STOP THAT!! LOL
I'd suggest you try Anne MacCaffrey's Dragon Rider series. Excellent characters, storylines developed quick enough to hold your interest, and enough romance and angst to satisfy the toughest romantic. With over 18 books in the series I would guess you're hooked within 18 pages! Dragonflight is the first book. This is a series I'd LOVE to see on the small or big screen.
I love this ensemble, but I hate its charater inconsistencies. The platform for this drama is a delightful jumble of fairy tales. Excluding those bloody Grimm stories, fairy tales provide, as Mary Margaret says in the first episode, "The most important thing anyone can have: hope." Fairy tales offer insights into integrity, kindness and valor, as well as deceit, cruelty and cowardice.
The "kiss" diminished one of our heroines, Mary Margaret, from her elevated position of "long suffering" but ethical, to a home-wreakin'-skank. Mary Margaret totally blew the "confident woman's rules" by: 1) chasing after her spineless heartthrob (he did agree to marriage counseling!) James; 2) after chasing James out of the cafe, failing to state that she loves him, but isn't into married men thereby presenting James with an ultimatum that declares her worth. 3) kissing/embracing a anyone (who's legally committed to another), gives the impression that she's accepting the role of James' FWB. Is this truly what we want for Mary Margaret?
Lastly, Mary Margaret needs to see Dr. Hopper for some soul searching into why she's got such low self-esteem remember when Emma threw Mary Margaret's bouquet into the trash, and Mary Margaret didn't call her out and demand that Emma take those flowers out of the damn trash? she deserves more than to just settle for being "the other woman." I get her deceit, but where's her integrity? Where's her valor?
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You get the feeling that the Snow White version of her would kick MM's butt for her lame behavior. Very awesome breakdown of MM's no-nos.
So, why do ya think the writers make Snow so strong, yet make MM so shamefully weak? If it's a plot device, it's one that's truly dated. I want a romantic, yet kick-butt MM. Is it too fanciful a task the writers to create a MM that reflects today's woman's sensibilities, while exuding romantic charm too?
I think that because Storybrooke is Regina's happy ending, and because Snow White is her most hated enemy, she has designed this world specifically to cow, alienate, and punish MM and undo all her accomplishments as a person. The same way Cinderella was back to square 1 washing laundry in the back of Granny's when Emma found her, MM is Snow without the confidence and self sufficiency she learned in the woods.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Great review as always, Lily!
Maybe it's just me, but so far the episodes that followed Graham's death haven't been that good. Although, this one was better and it had some great moments between Mary Margaret and David.
I really like this show, but it almost feels like a procedural with the fairytale of the week and after a while it's getting kind of repetitive. They also really need to work on Emma, as lead she's not very interesting or engaging.
Oh My Gosh! I cheered so hard for this kiss. Arms up in the air and jumping off the couch in celebration! And, I've said this before, but I'll say it again, Ginnifer Goodwin really is the fairest in the land. I should be so lucky to be Josh Dallas.
-Not a couple for real, it'll take some time before that happens, got to go through the proper channels. But I love them too much. Don't take them away from me completely!!
-I hope so, because that would be AWESOME. I love the concept of the fact that someone actually wrote the storybook and I want to see them go somewhere with this.
-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snow White is the fairest. But you're not wrong, Red is very PRETTY (when not dressed up like mega-goth creepy coffee chick). I do hope, though for more Red Riding-Snow stuff. Especially since Red needs to help Snow remember how much she loves James now.
-I hate to say this, but heartbreak makes us all better dwarfs. I understand why someone would want a way out, but it's the wrong move. Too bad it is, because it would be easier if it weren't.
The dialogue was much better this episode (at least from my point of view), and I am thankful for that. Also, Graham needs to come back because I do like him.moreless
what other hoops will they make these two jump through?? I want them to be a united force ASAP and move in together and be a time warp nuclear family with Emma.
I think they're saving that up for season 3, where season 2 ends with realities crashing down and the city of Storybrooke bounces back and forth between realities and we have Snow and Emma battling Regina and whoever else with R-Stilts playing combination Switzerland and Japan.
There is something BAD happening to Charming's (fake)wife soon.
Regina saw him and MM making out, so what could she possibly do to make John Doe feel really bad and guilty ?
I expect an accident, a serioous illness or coma.
Also love the writer - thing and these hilarious recaps !
Oh man you think Regina will guilt them out of each other's lives? She'd have to put Mrs. Doe into a hell of a pickle to compete with MMargaret's cliff hang.
So it looked like the jeggings were on Mary Margaret this week. I wonder if Emma gets annoyed when her mom raids her closet? Maybe ABC will invest in some NYDJ for poor MM.
Oh my, I've noticed each week how freakin' TIGHT Emma's jeans are - she doesn't even move in a natural way. One show where they had her looking through stuff, I forget what it was, but she looked really lame the way she could barely bend over to pick something up.
Not Your Daughter's Jeans! Great reference. Yes the passion for jeggings is apparently catching. MM's pair was looking TIGHT.
I don't think the stranger is the writer of the book, I think he's the narrator which every fairytale has.
This recap is so funny! I really enjoyed it. What's funny is while I was watching the show, I thought to myself "this is the saddest show on television..." I really started to wonder when something good would happen to the characters people care about, e.g., not Hansel and Gretal or Ashley/Cinderalla the social climber.
... I don't think MM and John Doe will be a real couple, they may sneak around for a while but the reason Regina witnessed the kiss was so that we'd know that she was going to ruin it.
... I do think mystery guy is the writer but he will also have some other role in the whole thing
... I would drink a potion, heartbreak sucks.
You are right about us needing this epiosde. I was this close to giving up on it when they got rid of the Sheriff. (tiny sob)
but to answer your question
Would you drink a love cure if you couldn't be with the person you loved, or does heartbreak make us better people/dwarfs?
- Much like they are in storybrook, cursed with this weird amnesia that makes them forget their happy endings, I think taking a potion to forget your heart ache will have that same effect on me. Sooo i may end up a crazy dog lady mourning for my lost love, but I don't think i could live with myself constantly feeling like I was missing some part of me.
All in all, great recap. :)
Lily I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that Graham Lite might be the one who wrote the book that Henry is carrying. Looking forward to see where they take his character.
Nice review... for a pretty good show. Hopefully it doesnt get the axe i heard that this shows ratings are low despite how good it is. On a side note ....Lily and Price, can you guys teach Mr Tim Surette how to write a review? Lol
Ruby/Red is definitely the fairest of them all. I thought she was smokin hot with her Ruby getup on but as Red... Even more so! Also, I think I may be a little dumb as I spent a lot of time early in the season trying to figure out who Ruby would be in fairy tale land (cuz to be perfectly honest, she's my favorite character for some reason besides the fact that I'm extremely attracted to her). I kept trying to find a fairy tale character associated with the color red.... I felt more than a little stupid when she obviously showed up as Red Riding Hood.
I think the Biker was the creator of the curse since it had to come from somewhere. It could explain how the Queen knows him. Either that or he is a Grimm!
Half of the reason I watch this show is to read these hilarious reviews. Lily Sparks, thank you for routinely making me laugh out loud.
Thank you so much!! You have no idea how awesome that is to hear. It honestly makes my day.
Oh girl, this recap is gold. I think I sprained something laughing.
I would buy a kegger of the love cure.
I dunno about the Obnoxious, I mean Suspicious Stranger. A little one-off meta would be kind of cool, I guess. Give Henry a day or two, he will figure out this guy's game.
(I HATE that it is like Graham never existed.)
I also don't know where MM and JD are headed now. The full metal lip lock on the street was mighty unwise. But then again, he did say something about having both the wifey and MM. Maybe Regina will blackmail him into being her new boy toy.
And about the wife, in Fairyland, she is a Class A Stuck-up Entitled Elitist B*. Storebrook blond sure seems like a nice lady. This gives me a confused. She doesn't seem to deserve having her husband step out on her.moreless
She seems nice, but let's not forget that for awhile, it kind of seemed like she wasn't even looking for her husband, until MM woke JD up, and then she conveniently showed up with Regina's help. Makes me think Regina is giving her something to act as the loving wife. I don't buy it. No one else's characters seemed to have changed that much so there's got to be a catch.
Weather man at beginning = Damon Lindelof :) love me some more Lost connections
Why not a bakers dozen dwarves? Lets add Sleazy, Stinky, Pansy, Stalky, and Transy.
Ha Haaaa! I could watch a whole spin off about a dwarf neighborhood and their soap opera entanglements and their weirdly descriptive names.
I gotta say this one took a little blush off the rose for me. But I did learn a couple of things. Like where the saying came from "As PURE as the driven SNOW." Insert Lady Touchdown photo here!! Guess we now know who's DRIVING!!
Second , now I know why wolves howl!! Insert Second Fairest photo here! Man, it sure as hell ain't the moon Big Bad is howling at!! AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
"Red Riding Hood: Possibly the fairest of them all? " Hottie with a Hoodie gets my vote!!
Insert So hi right now photo here. This one should have gone to the Caption of the Day!! "Alright, which one of you guys ROOFIED Snow??"
"Would you drink a love cure "
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
Kahlil Gibranmoreless
A Kahlil Gibran quote!! You are too rad. He does have a pretty good phrase about how you're like a vessel and the depth of your joy can only be equal to the depth of your sorrow. I'm misquoting but the concept is the same. Great point.
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
Kahlil Gibran