Let the record show that I love Dan Scott. I know it’s hard to love Dan, what with the fact that he’s spent most of One Tree Hill's nine seasons being a raging douchebag, but he’s really stepped up these last few episodes to become the de facto badass when the situation necessitates it. You know, that relative you go to when you need bail money or someone who’s good with a baseball bat and isn’t afraid to go back to prison. Every family has one. My family has, like, four.
Since the abduction of Nathan Scott, I’ve found that I occasionally have to remind myself that I am, in fact, watching the thematic successor to Dawson’s Creek—that initially, One Tree Hill was just a little show about a small-town basketball rivalry with a soundtrack straight off of a tenth grader’s iPod. Those early seasons look downright adorable compared to our current fare. I mean, just last week we saw Dan torture a mobster for information about Nate’s whereabouts with a car battery. When I told The Boyfriend about it while attempting to convince him to watch OTH with me without complaining, he was intrigued.
“Let me get this straight: They tortured a guy with a car battery. On One Tree Hill.”
“I’m thinking of the right show? CW, Gavin DeGraw, Chad Michael Murray?”
“That’s the one!”
“A car battery? Really?”
I know. It’s awesome, right? Halfway through tonight’s episode I realized that I should have been tracking the body count as Dan, Chris Keller, and Julian fought their way to Nathan Scott’s rescue. Well, Dan fought his way in. Chris helped, impaling a guard with a car before bowing out frantically, and Julian, despite being ordered by Dan to go home to his family before the action started, showed up just in time to knock out that corrupt cop before he could undo all of the trio’s hard work.
But that wasn't all! The tension between Brooke and Creepy Xavier came to a head as well. When she showed up to the cafe to open up shop for the day and found the place trashed, there was only one culprit in Brooke’s mind; of course, the X scratched into the counter practically confirmed it. I was glad to see that, despite last week’s ending—with Creepy Xavier looming over the Baby Baker's crib—this didn’t turn into another kidnapping storyline. We’re finally getting Nathan back, you know?
Xavier waited until Brooke closed up shop and followed her to a parking garage, unleashing the crazy full-force. It was pretty brutal, and the fact that I saw it coming as soon as Xavier was released from prison a few episodes back did little to reduce the amount of cringing and hiding behind my hands that went down during the whole sequence. Brooke got a few blows in, but Xavier ultimately overpowered her. It was looking pretty dire until Tara swooped in with her handy dandy taser to save the day.
I guess it’s about time she did something other than be comically unappealing in every single scene she appears in.
Back at Operation Badass, Dan took a bullet for Nathan. And here I thought that Supernatural was the only C-Dub show with the magical ability to reduce me to a blubbery mess. Congratulations, OTH. Your membership card is in the mail. I hope you like glitter.
Lit analysis basically destroyed my ability to enjoy anything without analyzing it to death, and the warning alarms started blaring as soon as Dan started being a legitimately likable character. The OTH writers have set him up with a nice redemption story, and in the vein of terrible fictional fathers before him (Darth Vader comes to mind), I predict that he will most likely be worm food before the finale airs.
I’d be okay with it if he wasn’t though. I really, really would.
What'd you think of tonight’s action-packed One Tree Hill?