Open Caption: Blast to the Past with Married... with Children

Well, you certainly managed to expel a few of those disturbing thoughts you've been harboring inside your brains all this time. I mean, this is a judgement-free zone and all, but after reviewing some of yesterday's comments I'm guessing we've all seen one too many torture flicks. These boys are just kids! Regardless, great job making it hard to pick a winner again—we made it all the way to Friday with so many great suggestions throughout the week! Here are your winners from yesterday's contest:


From jkpop_07:

Adam: "Wow your skin is so soft. Do you use Olay for men?"
Callum: "No, Old Spice."
Adam: "Oooooh, nice!"
Jake: "Adam, focus!"
Adam: "Right!"


From heartzkidnapper:

Adam: "Calm down, dude. You're always acting weird when you're hungry. Jake, give him a Snickers bar right now!"


From Jimmy_Fishkin:

Jake and Adam: "Won't use hair gel, eh? We'll fix that..."



Today's Image: Married... with Children

What you see before you is an actual still from Fox's epic Married... with Children pilot, which first aired in 1987. It will be aired again this Sunday as part of Fox's 25th Anniversary Special, so stay tuned. In it, we meet the Bundy family—Al was a high school football star who's now a shoe salesman, Peggy is his dimwitted wife, Kelly is their loosey-goosey daughter, and Bud is their baby-faced, girl-crazy, but unpopular son. In the still below, Peggy (left) and Al (right) have a heart-to-heart. Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

Check out all of our recent winners on TV.com's Open Caption Pinterest Board.

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Al: "It's true, they actually have sandwiches this big."
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Al: One day I'm going to leave you and the kids and have myself a modern family
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"Implants Peg?"
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No ma'am!!!!
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Al: In 25 years I'll STILL be able to land a hotter wife than you.

Peggy: Oh, who would believe that?
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Al: No, the fish wasn't this big, this is the size of the bait!
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All: Look Peg, I told u last year and the year before... no sex on our anniversary. No sex ANY day... and that's the Bundy way.

Peggy: But Aaaal...
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Al: Fat woman clip clopped into the shoe store today..
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"Look, if I'd known it would last this long I wouldn't have gotten involved in the first place."
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Al: You know compared to the crazy families we get later, this wasn't so bad.
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Peggy: Al, let's have sex.



Al: No Peg, (flushes toilet).
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LOL! You've definitely seen a few Married with Children episodes.
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It's a line from The Simpsons.
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Wow! I knew it sounded familiar ...
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"Ok, Peg, so it's the investment opportunity of a lifetime. I put in a few hundred bucks now, and these geeks say this 'Google' thing will pay for my retirement in style."

"But Al, we don't have that kind of money. The only thing we have of value we could sell is maybe your game-winning football."

"... My four-touchdown football? Never!!! Oh well, that 'Google' thing will probably just fade away. Get me a beer, will ya babe? *Damn kids and wife costing me an arm and a leg.*"
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"So there's this pill I can take, but it warns of lasting more than four hours. FOUR HOURS PEG!!! I'll need to go to the newsstand for more copies of Big'Uns to get through that."
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"Now listen Peg, this guy told me all about it at work, computers will be only this big and they'll connect to each other without wires, and through that fat women will be able buy shoes right from their computers without shoe salesmen at all. I'm going to be out of a job, Peg!"

"Oh no, Al, what are we going to do without your mighty shoe income? We'll starve. Ha ha ha!"

"Good one, babe."
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"... Ha! I really don't think so, Al, not by a long shot."

"Peg, I'm talking about the fish I nearly caught!"

"Sure you are, Al. I bet THAT wasn't nearly as big either."
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"Now Peg, listen, I don't want your hair to get any bigger than this."
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Al: Hey Peg, do you mind putting on an eye patch? I have a weird cyclops fantasy.

Peggy: You can wait two years!
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Peg: I'm sorry, Al, but I'm in love with Hellboy.
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I just had a vision Peg. In 25 years I am married to a hot latin women in a dysfunctional extended family and you are a Biker's ol lady. I can live with that.
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Al: Peg, I 've had a long day. I just had to find a pair of shoes for a woman whose feet were this wide.
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Peggy: Oh, I love you Al.

Al: Yea, listen, you're great Peg, but I'm with Sofia now, and were really happy. We have a show on ABC, and I'm finely on something that I can mention to people without them laughing...
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Peggy: "Wow, I can't believe THIS started my career. Man, I got lucky."
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Al: "Where I got this bandage? See, I put my hand down my pants so often, that I've gotten an abrasion on my palm."
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"You look different in real life leela"
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AI : i bet you that your boobs gonna fit perfectly with my hands!
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Al: you're no sofia vergara... But i guess you'll do.
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Haha! I was waiting for that one.
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Can I get an invite to the next SoA clubhouse party?
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If you're unhappy and you know it clap your hands...
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Al: Peg your Bazoombas are getting smaller :(
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Al: "Woah, since when do you have one eye?!"
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Al : peg , you not gonna believe this ! 12 years from now , we will get animated ! but for some reason they will call our show Family Guy !

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Not a fan of crowd pleasers, eh, C.K? Alright ...



Al: "Peggy, do you ever get tired of writing captions for pictures with people holding their hands apart like this, which inevitably leads to cliche penis jokes?"



Peggy (admonishing): "AL!"



*Cue Laugh Track*
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"No? Even if I told you it was this big?"
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