Open Caption: Goodbye, Old House

I'm baaaaaack! Thank you for behaving while I was away on dental hiatus. I see you really racked up the submissions while I was busy taping ice packs to my cheeks—and I couldn't be more proud. Here are your winners from last Tuesday's contest:


From AnimeMadness:

Gibbs: "Hmm... Interesting, but why don't they just get another cup?"


From Gorand2055:

Gibbs: "You realize there's a threat to world peace brewing, right?"
Dr. Ryan: "Yeah, but I just gotta check the Dancing with the Stars results first."


From Homerman92:

Gibbs: "If I dressed up in a Michael Myers mask now, how freaked out would you be on a scale of 1 to 10?"



Today's Image: House M.D.

After eight seasons of scintillating lupus detection, House is moving on. To where? Crohn's detection, maybe? We'll have to tune in to know for sure. In tonight's two-hour series finale, "Swan Song/Everybody Dies," House and his team treat a drug-addict, whose self-inflicted disease forces House to re-evaluate his own life. In the still below, the team struggles to hold the addict down. (From left to right: Park, Adams, the addict, and Taub). Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

Check out all of our recent winners on TV.com's Open Caption Pinterest Board.

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Patient: "No! You can't make me go back to Ally McBeal!"
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No! Please don't transfer me to the Seattle Grace!
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Taub: Wait, so in 35 minutes, Park and Adams will have jobs, Chase will get promoted, and my big payoff is that I'll get stuck being papa to two kids from two different women, in the inane romantic subplot I've been trapped in for two years? Give me some of those drugs you're taking, Mr. Patient.
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Wow. A year out of work and Lisa Edelstein has really gone downhill.
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Taub: Excuse me. While you're going berserk and fighting for your life, did I mention that I was in The Lost Room? And oh God, am I praying for a sequel when this gig dries up in 35 minutes.
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Cutty, that #@&$ biyatch!
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Taub: "I'm upset that they're killing Wilson off, too, but you can't run off to throttle the writers!"
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Addict: "Wait, I can't die! Dr. House hasn't insulted me, yet!"
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"I'M NOT WATCHING THE PILOT FOR 'CHASE, M.D.'!"
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The patient, after hearing that Park was going to do an encore performance of "I've Got You, Babe."
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"You know, if we actually paid a couple extras to play orderlies and nurses, we wouldn't have to operate, autopsy, take blood samples, stare at MRIs, do x-rays, run security, and hold down angry patients. It's almost as if we're the only three staff in this place that they can afford to pay."
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A patient in November 2012 upon hearing that Romney has been elected President.
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"What do you mean it's the finale? Stephen Fry hasn't made a guest appearance yet!"
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Taub: Sir. Please calm down!

Patient: Screw that. This episode is titled "Everybody Dies". I'm getting the hell out of here!

Adams: Don't worry. We usually save our patients... after a couple of tries.

Park: Yea! There's nothing to worry about. *attempts fist-bump*
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my comment " no health care , and house is gone , now how am i supposed to cure my TV addiction ? "
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Park: Wonder-twin Powers Activate! Form of ironic dragon.
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Park making her usual significant contribution to an episode. "I'll put one hand lightly on his right arm, and fistbump with the other."
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"He's turning into a werewolf!" "Oh, so that's what Lupus is."
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Patient: Get me outta here! I want to be treated by Dr. House, not by cast members sporadically introduced throughout later seasons of the series!
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Adams: Taub! Don't let him bite you!

Taub: My contracts up, being an extra on the Walking dead is the only way I'll stay on TV!
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"Must.....watch....Kardashians!"

"No sir! It will only worsen your brain damage!"
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As Doctor House says goodbye, he knows he leaves the hospital in the caring, competent hands of the Diagnostics team he's trained so well.
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TAUB: "Sir, please calm down! We know it's the end and the character growth for the main character has backslid horribly, leaving this last episode to wrap everything up for him, but that's no reason to try to run screaming from the finale!"



PATIENT: "Just tell me I have lupus so I don't have to suffer through 15 inept medical assumptions! Let me out of here before things get too dramatic and my life is put in jeopardy by a handful of misread and mistreated diagnoses while you all deal with your feelings!"
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patient : what do you mean series finale ! let me go i cant take it anymore , good bye cruel world !

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Another day, another dollar for the crack Diagnostic Medicine team at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
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Addict: PLEASE!! IT BURNS!!!!!

Taub: Get that life-size cutout of Tanning Mom out of here NOW!!
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Addict: I. WANT. PANCAKES!!



Taub: Pancakes must be street for crack.
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I will get My fist Bumped, and not even Taub can stop me
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Ultimate Fist Bump
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Park, Bump my fist.. it's the only way
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Addict: "No!! No!!!! I don't accept it!! I can't believe that they cancelled 'Firefly'!!!"

Park: "Seriously dude? That was like 10 years ago."
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Tickle Fight!!!!!!!!!!!
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Taub: "He actually swallowed the hospital food? Quick, get me the antidote; two fingers in his throat."
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Only five seconds later did the team learn that the growth inside the patient was not stomach cancer, but an alien creature.
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The Addict: Where are Cameron, Chase and Foreman?!?
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After a vicious tickle fight with the patient of the week house is the only person to be correctly diagnosed with lupus
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I need my playboy magazines right now!!
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The team struggle to deal with the outbreak of Sony rage after Dan Harmon's "departure".
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They cancelled Alcatraz and Terra Nova, but kept Touch?? Nooo!!!
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Another calm, rational, Alcatraz fan learning that the show has been cancelled.
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The three scrubs are treating me while Chase bails, Foreman takes over for Cuddy, Wilson dies, and Cameron comes back to admit her feelings for House?? Nooo!!!
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Jennifer Morrison is coming back to suck all of the oxygen out of the room and kill me slowly? Nooo!!!
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I have to choose between House and Dancing With the Stars??? Noooo!!
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