Open Caption: House's "Free" Time

Hello, Open Captioners! Are you ready to carry on Ilana's legacy? She has some fancy shoes to fill, but I'm up for the challenge and looking forward to getting to know all of you screenwriting spoof artists along the way. Your Once Upon a Time entries were an impressive start! Here are the winners from this weekend's contest:


From jaynashvil:
Snow: "What's my next line?"
King Leopold: "It doesn't matter. The CGI guys are replacing you with Mila Kunis."


From Writerpatrick:
Snow: "Daddy, when I said the castle should be more 'green' I meant environmentally aware."


From zeofan1:
Snow White: "UGH! Ever since you hired that new decorator, this whole place looks like a Granny Smith! I hope I never see an apple again!"


Today's Image: House
Now that House is without his ankle monitor, he's discovering what it's like to be a free man again. And we all know what freedom means: Guns! Lots of them! This still from tonight's episode, "Runaways," features House embracing his newfound liberty with his team in tow. (Starting on the left, that's Dr. Jessica Adams, Dr. Robert Chase, Dr. Chris Taub, and Dr. Chi Park.) What do you think they're saying to each other between gun shots? Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

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Taub: COME ON, House - he's deranged and delusional...I've called the fire department and the police!

House: Why do you INSIST on doing things the hard way...*sigh* I'll have your patient out of that branch with one.....more.....shot.....
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Just one...more....hole.....and Cuddy will think twice before flying his hot-air balloon over THIS area again.
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House: 6 seasons and a movie!! We're coming for you NBC !!!

Taub: Oh man, peacock feathers everywhere!!

background: Bong Bong SPLAT
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House: I will be shooting at the one with Cuddy's face on it now, right?
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>In Dr. Adams' mind: I can't believe I stepped out of my house dressed like that.

>In Dr. Chase's mind: Gunfire sounds like opera compared to Park's stammering attempts to woo me.

>In Dr. Taub's mind: I wonder if that new nurse is on birth-control pills.

>In Dr. Park's mind: Someone should tell that C. Killian person that i'm standing between Dr. Chase and Dr. Taub and not on the far left :-P

>In Dr. House's mind (a.k.a. hell): I'm torn between imagining Cuddy's, Foreman's or Wilson's head on those pidgeons. What the hell, I'm gonna go for pidgeons with Cuddy's nose, Foreman's stick in the anus and Wilson's gullibility!!
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"What? I'm helping prevent bird flu from spreading."
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House: " I am looking at you ... Glee cast! "
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Dr. House : Hold on a second , let me shoot a duck, and then diagnose it ... after that lets eat it for dinner .





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Taub - What the hell is he shooting at??

Park - Nothing. Ever since he got out of prison, he's been following the philosophy of "shoot first and ask questions later".

Taub - I don't think it applies to our patient.

Park - You wanna tell him that?? Go ahead.
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ever since House ran out of patients hes gone to extreme ways to fill up the hospital
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House: Is it a gunshot wound? Or is it lupus?

Taub: It's definitely a gunshot wound, we all just watched you shoot him.
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Staff
Ready. Aim, You're all FIRED.
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Taub: House! Why did you call us here? You said it was an emergency!

House: There's a hiker in the woods with a large open leg wound.

Taub: Where? I can't see...*BANG!* Oh, there. You're right as always.
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House: the Monday 8pm timeslot on FOX belongs to me! If Terra Nova decides to return, I'll be ready.
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House: GERANIMO!!

Taub: God thing Cuddy is gone.
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House: Patient is a 30something hospital administrator with a sucking chest wound, weeeeeeelll??

Adams: Band-aid!

Chase: Ibuprophen.

Taub: Push IV wide open filled with air!

Park: Euthanasia.

House: Wrong!! Administer 2 more rounds to the legs to stop patient from running way.
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Last House caption: Handgun. This time: Shotgun. Next time: House giving a flu shot using a cannon.
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" Thank God House strapped WILSON to the flag pole ... "
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