Open Caption: New Girl's Thanksgiving Episode

Being a broke girl in New York looks like so much fun on TV! Here are the winners from yesterday's contest:

From Geek_Queen:
Kelly: "Did you know that the '80s sitcom My Two Dads was filmed in this very loft?"
Max: "Uh, no. I did not know that. Thank you, Random Factoid Lady."

From Taccado:
Max: Guys say women become better looking the more you drink. Now I think it's time to test that theory.
Caroline: I'm already way ahead of you, but I can't say that it's working for me.

From StrawDog:
Max: Yeah, I like to eat. I also have a vagina, you want to fight about it?
Woman: I was actually just passing by.


Today's Image: New Girl
In tonight's episode, Jess will be donning some turkey feathers and crushing on guest-star Justin "I'm a Mac" Long. Do you think our television sets will be able to withstand the sheer force of all this likable talent? Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

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Justin: Can I squash you?
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Justin: "Jess, does my gourd costume actually look like a giant orange syphilitic penis?"

Jess: "Um, noooo."
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Justin: "Hello, I'm a gourd."

Jess: "And I'm a turkey . . . is that it?"

Justin: "Yeah, that's all I've written so far."
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Justin Long attempts to cajole Jess out of her introspective reverie of how to best maximize her potential cuteness in a turkey suit.
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sadly 2 broke girls is running out of good jokes and plots.
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This must be how cannibals see thanksgiving dinner
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Jess: Huh. I guess I'll need to stock up on Michael's gift cards before the Christmas pageant.
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Justin's thought: "It's so real... can I pet it?
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new Girl is so re%%%%%ed, just use the dialogue that the original writers wrote for them.

Oh, and re%%%%ed is the "new" swear word!
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In the early rounds of the Battle of the Network Turkeys, New Girl's Zooey Deschanel prepares to take on X-Factor's Simon Cowell (not shown) in early round action. The event was eventually won by NBC's decision to pull Community off the air.
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Jess: This play is going to be a Turkey.

Justin: Oh my Gourd did you really just make that pun?
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Jess: Should I go look for Andy again? Abumchuk really misses me.

Justin: Uhh, Jess...? This isn't Weeds.
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Even turkeys are choking on Zooey's cuteness now!
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Justin: "Uh, Jess, your 'stuffing' is showing."
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Jess: "Justin, I'm telling you that guy in the front row looks just like Elmer Fudd!"

Justin: "Don't worry about it. He's not here for you."
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Jess: "I can't go out there. What if the audience doesn't love my cute quirkiness?"

Justin: "This isn't Shakespeare in the Park, just move your giblets! We're on."
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Nick: "How'd I guess that you'd dress up as a turkey for Thanksgiving...?"



Jess: "...it's Thanksgiving?"



Max and Winston: "Called it."
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MacTurkey replaces the MacChicken just for thanksgiving! Now available in the MacDonalds near you!
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Jess: "As you can see from the fractures evident in the phalanges, as well as the pitting in the ulna.... Oh wait. That's my sister."
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In a misguided remake of "Alien", ship members are horrified when a woman's head bursts out of the chest of a turkey.
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Jess: Oh boy, I'm so nervous!

Justin Long: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll 'squash' this :P
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Justin Long: Just gonna drag this girl to Hell...

Everyone, Everywhere: *groan*
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Z: I can't possibly be expected to be cutesy, sugar sweet in this getup!!!!

J: Sorry Z, you're PLUCKED!!!
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this show is terrible
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I don't think you're gonna get your caption posted.
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It's an honor just to be nominated.
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Z: Hmmmm, if only I could think of something witty to say.......

J: Well, that thing in your hand is a script. But don't bother, I've read thru. There's no saving this one. Hence the costume...
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While starving on a deserted island, Justin Long begins to hallucinate that Jess is a turkey, and hilarity ensues.
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Jess: No kiddin . . . . . you don't wear turkey costumes on thanksgiving. Paul could have told me that before . . .
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Director: Come on, put a smile on, Zooey!

Deschanel: Look, I know this show is a turkey, but do you REALLY have to dress me up as one? If you want some effin' bird on your screen, go watch NBC!
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Guy: "Hi, I'm a Mac!"

Jess: "Hi, I'm a PC."

Guy thinks.

Guy: "You look more like a turkey to me!"
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Jess: Time for some method acting. What are the inner thoughts of a turkey? What's my motivation? I know chickens dance, but what about turkeys?

Paul: Can you help me with my zipper? I have to go pee, but can't get out of my costume.
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The summary of this article on the TV.com homepage says "Jason Long" guest stars, but his name is Justin Long.
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Alas, the "AFLAC turkey" never caught on, the job went to Gilbert Gottfried, and the rest is history...
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