Open Caption: Parks and Rec Goes Bowling

I'm really moved by how many people entered yesterday's Open Caption contest. You might say I'm touched. And, now that the terrible puns are out of the way, here are the winners:


From darkitp:
Kiefer: The CTU asked me to Integrate you and Torture you if I have to. Now, tell me where the drugs are, and who are you working for?
Touch Director: CUT. Oops, I think we made a mistake and gave you an old 24 script!

From Thantheman:
"What's that behind your ear? Why, if it isn't a piece of bionuclear anthrax!"

From Mate:
You know, if what happened to my last TV kid is of any indication, we better get you a bulletproof vest, some karate lessons, a gas mask, and a Glock.


Today's Image: Parks and Rec
Don't want to toot my own horn, but you could say I'm an award-winning bowler. I take the sport very seriously. And why do I get the feeling Tom Haverford does, too? Do you think he has fabulous catchphrases for when he gets a strike, a split, or a turkey? I know I do. Treat yo' self and us with your best caption ideas in the comments!

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Tom: "Quick, give me the camera! This is going to be epic."
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Commercial Announcer: "Come to Nathan's Lanes and have a gay old time!"
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One done, one to go. Let's go Eunuchs !
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The good side of this sport is that you can move the way you want as there is no way you'll be more ridiculous than by wearing those shoes.
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Aziz Ansari : i have Blue Balls , you know what to do girl !
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Damn right I've got blue balls!
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It can be scary mixing up bowling and baseball, especially when you play catcher.
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You wouldn't see this in Slum Dog Millionaire.
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Tom: Every now and then, we have these little bowling gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to slide down the lane and use her head as a bowling ball. She, one time, made out with the shoe return guy. In her office. On Christmas, she was dressed up as Santa Claus. Not Mrs. Claus; Santa Claus. And I convinced her to go slide down a chimney to deliver some presents. And it is my favorite thing in the world.
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Tom: I didn't want to put in the work to learn how to bowl, I just wanted these dope shoes. They were in Details magazine, so they're awesome.
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Tom: I'm the Tiger Woods of bowling! By that I mean, this is where I had my very own sex scandal.
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Tom: We're never going to repeat as bowling league champs this year without Lil Sebastian anchoring the team.... This is all Jerry's fault!
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Tom : To get a strike , you must move like you have a bumpy rash between your legs!
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Tom: "Come one little ball of wonder, make me those millions. When my new bowling outfits take off, I'll be able to restart Entertainment 720."
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Tom: Oh, did I get a strike? I didn't notice

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I knew these pants were too tight for my giant testicles, hopefully I can grab the other one before it drops too.
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Alas, it turned out that he was NOT strong in the force.
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Eventually, Aziz would lose the staredown. Asked about it later, he said "it was like staring into the soul of a network executive."
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Tom: I call bowling... "giant ping pong."
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Haha nice.
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Tom: I learnt my bowling moves from the master - Michael Jackson.
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Tom (campaign advertisement): Hi! I'm Sam Weiss. Let's "Bowl" away the competition.

Vote Leslie Knope for City Council.



P.S. - Treat Yo Self!! (couldn't help myself)
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haha reminds me of "Diabetes. Let's Dia-beat this!"
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Tom: I came up with this unique stance for bowling. It's 200% cooler than any other stance. I call it "The Baller". It's named after me.
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Somebody...Pull my finger!!
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