Open Caption: Parks and Recreation

Let's clear something up: We do not currently accept bribes or have any secret trysts with with any Open Caption contestants. This is not to say that we would never accept bribes, especially if they were to arrive in the form of baked goods. (I'm partial to snickerdoodles.) Got it? Good. Let's move on, then, to congratulating the winners of yesterday's contest!

From AamesDaniels:
David Cross: If I blue myself could I get your vote?

From DavidJackson8 :
Phil: "Ooohhh, sorry. We already promised our vote to Mrs. Featherbottom."

From Crazy-for-TV:
Phil: "You have time to run for city councilman? Don't you have to track down Alvin and the Chipmunks, to sponge off their talented little voices?"

Honorable mention:
From Arch_Angel88:
"Can you believe Geek_Queen won the Open Caption contest AGAIN?"


Today's Image: Parks and Recreation
Tonight, Leslie sports her fire-making badge while Ron... levitates a wooden spoon. Now have at it!

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Ron: "You see children, that is how you can make a lifelike statue using only a wooden spoon."
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Ron: "All right, ladies, whoever makes it out of the woods tonight earns their "I made it out alive!" badge. The loser gets the spoon I carved out of this stump."
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Ron: When facing an angry bear, a spoonful of honey can save your life. Simply applly the honey to the person nearest to you and run like hell !!
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Ron: Leslie, why'd ya bring me all the way out here and give me a left-handed spoon when you know I'm right-handed???
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now I will show you how to spoon a girl
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Ron: "And this is how you detect government microphones planted to ensure you're not enjoying yourself."
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Ron: "I earned my first fire-badge just before my 8th birthday. Coincidentally my mustache began to grow in the next morning."
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"kids today have no passion for the outdoors! tis always texting and whatever kids do these days!...aww I give up!"
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Ron: "Kids, a great way to avoid paying illegal sales taxes to the government is to carve your own tools from wood you find in the wild."
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When Maria married Larry the Cable Guy, the Von Trapp kids were exposed to a whole new world.
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Ron: Ok, children. Now what lesson have we learned from Leslie's predicament here?

Children (in unison): Never eat your breakfast with a wooden spoon that has been soaking all night in a bottle of Captain Morgan.
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And that concludes our lesson on how to craft a wooden spoon, the first in a series of lectures on how to survive in the wilderness after societies inevitable failure.
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"Kids, this wooden spoon needs to be treated with fear and respect. I have been spanked with it by all three Tammies."
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Ron: "Now, as Leslie has been so kind to demonstrate, this is proper amount of reverence and respect for dealing with wooden spoons in the wild. Try to keep that in mind kids as we move on to other things, like locating trees."
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