Open Caption: Touch

Oh, cowboy hats. I'm a sucker for them. And, I'm a sucker for your great Open Caption entries. Here are the winners from yesterday's Justified contest:


From mattyseitz:
You're trying to tell me you like the prequels better!?


From Taccado:
Karen Goodall: Okay, having a cowboy hat is a good start. You get points for authenticity. But if you're going to line dance, it all starts with putting your hands to your waist like this.


From Geek_Queen:
Raylan: "You two look like a poor man's Mulder and Scully. Are you here for an alien or something?"
Middle Guy: "Actually, yes, we are. Our reports say he's been hiding out in that corner office for months."


Today's Image: Touch
Alright, I know that this is a new show, but, come on, we ALL know that guy on the right. It's Kiefer! He's back! And it looks like he's toned down that angry 24 Jack Bauer look. But you would too if you were hanging out with your autistic son who could predict the future. Post your best caption ideas in the comments!

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Kiefer: Just let me fix that for you, your hair is quantum entangled.
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Kiefer: Don't worry son, I'll teach you the jack bauer power dump and then you'll always make it to the radio tower by 3:18.
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Keifer: Okay now please focus....will I ever get arrested again?

Son: Ask again later
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Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
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Martin : 106 97 107 101 32 44 32 105 32 97 109 32 121 111 117 114 32 102 97 116 104 101 114 ( jake , i am your father )

Jake : i am autistic , not a robot you moron !
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Kiefter: So Timmy, do you like gladiator movies?
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Kiefer: What's wrong, son?

Kid: I miss 24.

Kiefer: *Sigh* Yeah me too.
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Keifer: "It'll be okay. I bought us some Subway sandwiches."
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So, son, do you want to go out on the tracks with me and see a dead body? We can beat up on Wil Wheaton and Jerry O'Connell.
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And in this box, son, I've got every fan letter from when I played Athos in The Three Musketeer.
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So, you can't socialize, you have mad computational skills, and you save the day every episode? Chloe Jr.!
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You've heard of the Jack Sack? Well, I've got the Martin Box here.
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So, are you a Lost Boy?
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I love you, son, but if a cougar shows up, I'm out of here.
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Does it bother you when I do this? What about when I do this? And this? And this...
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Agent Bauer: Yes, Mr. President, I have the boy with me. He's not to be trusted. All my TV experience tells me he will be revealed as a mole in the season final. I must terminate him with extreme prejudice.
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Agent Bauer: Listen, DAMMIT, this is supposed to be a family drama. TELL ME HOW TO ACT WITHOUT SHOUTING!
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Jack: WHAT DOES 318 MEAN!? DAMMIT!
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Charlie Sheen got his start on this same bench...
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You know if what happened to my last tv kid is of any indication. We better get you a Bulletproof Vest, some Karate lessons, a gas mask, and a Glock.
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Martin: It's okay kiddo , just because we borrowed our show's premise from a bad Nicholas Cage movie doesn't mean that people wont watch us. Trust me , I'm your TV dad.
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Dad: Trust me, a great haircut goes a long way with the ladies.

Kid: Great!! Stylin advise from the guy wearing longjohns in midsummer!!



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Kiefer: YOU'VE BEEN HIT WITH A POISON DART! It was probably terrorists but don't worry about that right now. If we don't get you to CT.... Oh never mind its just a pen lid stuck behind your ear.
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Kiefer: Okay I'm putting a listening device in your ear, when you hear me screaming at you hysterically YOU RUN OUT THAT DOOR AS FAST AS YOU CAN!! And eh don't pay attention to what I say it' probably won't make any sense to you...... There may also be elongated screams of pain.
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Kiefer: Wow son, you can predict the future! I'm speechless, -er, I mean...
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Sutherland: "Hey now, it's okay. Just because it's called the 'Keifer Sutherland Show' doesn't mean that audience won't see you too. You'll be great kid, now let's get out there and act....Wait..you mean it's not called that? I can't believe my agent lied to me..."
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"What's that behind your ear? Why, if it isn't a piece of bionuclear anthrax!"
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"you get your ass up out of this couch and get to school or i swear i will go jack bauer on you "...
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"I know what's in the bag kid? If you're thinking of going on suicide bombing mission, you'll be dead before you can get off this couch, the choice is yours.."
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Son, I love you!... I give you my word!
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Lifetime's movie of the week: "The Penn State Story"
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kiefer: My name's not Frank. It's Jack Bauer
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kiefer: Let's get something straight, kid. The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you. Now get in the van
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kiefer: You probably don't think I could force this towel down your throat, but trust me I can. All the way. Except that I'd hold onto this little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest the towel, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. Most people probably take about a week to die. It's very painful.
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kiefer: I used to be in the military. Used to do field work for the CIA. I've been to some horrible places. I've seen some pretty terrible things. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life.
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Kiefer: I have killed two people since midnight, I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now
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"Well looks like I can't yell and shoot my way out of parenting."
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Kiefer : So can you tell me when FOX gonna call me for the "24-The movie" because i feel this show will not gonna get another season!
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Martin: lol Jake I'm not a part of the CTU... I think you are watching way too much television.



Jake: So the winter is not coming?



Martin; Oh God...
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Jake Bohm (boy): Geez, I'm bored! I've only spent 24 hours with you, and it feels like it's taken weeks!
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well technically,we are not going to be breaking any child labour laws. you will find of time to squeeze in schoolwork in between predicting the future and helping to take down bad, and at some point saving the world...
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Martin: It's okay, son. I touched myself too when I was your age.
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Kiefer : The CTA asked me to Integrate you and Torture you if i have to .

now Tell me where are the drugs , and who are you working for ?



The Director : CUT , oops , i think we made a mistake and gave you 24's old dialogue script !
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Kiefer: I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you.



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Dad: What are we having for lunch?

Kid: I would've gone for lottery tickets myself
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Dad: 'If you predict a prediction but change that prediction, do you predict that prediction aswell or just predict the original prediction?'

Kid (thinks to himself) Just act autistic and he'll catch on soon enough
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I am only going to ask you this once nicely. Where's the bomb!
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