Parks and Recreation, Community, and the premiere of Blonde vs. Bear

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What to watch on Thursday, March 17.

Hi, my name is Thursday and I love you. Look at these fine gifts I bring you from my many travels:

8pm, NBC
Community
Community is TV done right. We laugh, we love, we learn. Haha gross. I mean, true, but that was a gross phrase. Tonight Shirley has to both avoid Senor Chang and put up with Annie's baby-shower planning. Also, Britta's new love interest displays a knack for disturbing poetry. Plus hopefully there will be a moral.

8pm, ABC
Wipeout
Oh man, this show. I'm guessing that at least half of Wipeout's budget goes toward CGI removal of bloody noses? I don't care how "soft" a surface is, a violent faceplant = BLOOD. Tune in tonight for the Spring Season Opener, which features such obstacles as Bed Bugs, Springavator, Big Balls and Trampoline Spring Fling. Pro tip: For a more realistic viewing experience, mute your TV and play the score from Requiem For A Dream instead.

9:30pm, NBC
Parks and Recreation
Tonight the Pawnee Parks Department attempts to make sure its Harvest Festival goes smoothly, despite tons of problems (aka MURPHY'S LAWZ) and a Native American tribal leader who threatens to place a curse on the whole thing.

9pm, Bravo
Kathy Griffin: 50 & Not Pregnant
Hopefully Kathy Griffin isn't still pretending she's a D-Lister, is she? She is definitely a household name, right? I don't know. I don't pretend to understand anything about fame, but this lady talks tons of trash and it makes me laugh. Endorsement! This all-new standup special was filmed in Milwaukee and should serve as methadone for people who are fiending for another season of the inaccurately named but highly entertaining and sadly finito My Life on the D-List.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Animal Planet
Blonde vs. Bear
First of all, look at the title. How can this not be great? So this show here is about professional bear-protectress Ann Bryant, who works to prevent tourist maulings in Lake Tahoe. Bingo. Season pass!


PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...

American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox
Perfect Couples, 8:30 p.m., NBC
Bones, 9 p.m., Fox
Man vs. Wild, 9 p.m., Discovery Channel
Private Practice, 9 p.m., ABC
Selling New York, 9 p.m., HGTV
The First 48, 9 p.m., A&E;
30 Rock, 10 p.m., NBC
Archer, 10 p.m., FX
Fairly Legal, 10 p.m., USA
Jersey Shore, 10 p.m., MTV
Outsourced, 10:30 p.m., NBC
Eagleheart, Midnight, Cartoon Network

What are you watching tonight?