Thursday's episode of Parks and Recreation, "Campaign Ad," saw our beloved Leslie Knope facing off against a new opponent in the race for City Council: the dashing but dumb Sweetums heir Bobby Newport (guest-star Paul Rudd). As the episode title reveals, campaign ads were in order—but conflict arose when Ben's plan to shoot an attack ad ran aground of Leslie's "don't be negative" ideals.
They couple compromised in the end, but not before Leslie'd had a chance to shoot an ad that, true to her "positive is always better than negative" mantra, showcased her good qualities instead of highlighting Bobby Newport's bad ones. It's very ambitious! Below, we've transcribed all the things that Leslie Knope is "pro"—it seems she's running on a platform that favors parks, raccoon control, and free sweets on street corners/your birthday...
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, I'm pro parks, pro public safety, and I'm pro clean water. I'm also pro environmental regulation, and I'm very, very pro local propositions 45, 86, and 102F. But most of all, I'm pro Pawnee. Here are some other things that I'm pro:
More dog parks
Senior citizens' rights
Safe streets
Safe sidewalks
Better schools
Lower taxes
Better parks
Better business climate
Better Better Business Bureau
Cleaner streets
Improve greenways
More snow plows
Protecting Pawneeans
Improving tourism
More trash cans
Energy-efficient street lights
Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project
Repaving Grand Avenue
More teachers
Fewer libraries
Improve intergovernmental agency communication
Clean-up Barefoot Lake
Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4
Playgrounds in every park
Playgrounds in every schoolyard
Playgrounds in every residential block
Clean energy
One police officer for every 5 citizens
One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons
Resodding Hilltop Cemetery
Start talking to Cuba again
Emergency Evacuation Drills
Plow for Charity
Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee
Challenging the norm
Pawnee Corn Subsidies
Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea
Official peace treaty with the Wamapoke Tribe
Four-way stops at every intersection
Unionizing ice cream trucks
Get Europe out of debt
Free trade with Illinois
Enact RRP - Raccoon Relocation Project
Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service
Doubling Pawnee Hospital's emergency room nurse staff
Legalize Korean
Lower the obesity level
Stop global terrorism
Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo
Find Gabe the Toucan
More community gardens
Ordinance 11F: To Re-pave city Sidewalks
Budget Reform
Updated Technologies for Local Schools
Better retirement benefits for city employees
Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling
Speed bumps in front of elementary schools
Unemployment Benefits
Re-instating the Main St. Farmers Market
No turtles as pets
New uniforms for youth sports programs
Free Public Wi-Fi
Updated childcare facilities
Shutting down the Child Left Behind program
Handicap parking placards for the obese
FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE
Cleaner drinking water
Regulate heights of trampolines
Memorial for those lost in the trampoline "incident"
Control the floods
Funding for public art commission
Fencing in correctional facilities
New police patrol cars
Funding overtime hours for police
Rebuilding the PTA
Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle
Profitable government organizations
Shutting down underground shooting ranges
Making sure city contracts employ local workers
Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses
Foster partnerships with sister cities
More buses to speed up morning commutes
More streets to accommodate additional buses
Require all city employees check and respond to email
Working sewers
More parades
Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy
Leave a lasting impression on all visitors
Challenge the norm
Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach
No more conflict diamonds
Bulletproof glass everywhere
Free cookies at every street corner
On school for every student
Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms
Develop a municipal composting operation
Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances
Upgrade existing parks
Create an anti-graffiti, youth outreach program
Free cake when it's your birthday
Reevaluate NAFTA
Rickshaw Wednesdays
Making it illegal to refuse a hug
Make downtown more people-friendly
Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt
Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy
Better screening processes at local adoption agencies
Finding homes for the abused children of Day Labor Corp.
Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups
Replacing all glass with plastic at Pawnee Psychiatric Clinic
...plus a couple more, give or take, that we couldn't quite make out. And hot dogs.
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Comments (22)
Parks & rec, together with Community are the best comedies out there! Leslie 2012!!
this episode was awesome, made even better that her "mystery opponent" was paul rudd :)
Same here, i think that's the best one. And so Leslie.
When I saw Paul Rudd guest starring i thought " can parks and rec get any better?"
That episode was great (though I'm not really surprised, aren't all Parks episodes great?). I like the "making it illegal to refuse a hug" one, that one's so Leslie.
My favourites are all the multiple line ones, e.g. "Rebuilding the PTA", "Prosecuting former PTA President Linda Trifle". Just great stuff. Love this show.
mini-golf I meant, not Gold.
Curfew for minors at the Pawnee Mall
Stop paying Sweetums the so-called "thank you for being here" tax
Mini-gold renovations
Subsidizing educational and eco-friendly businesses
Removing Zorp from all written laws
Reducing Federal Government Experiments in town to 10 per year
Ordinance 8R: A Goat Cannot Own/Inherit a Farm
Legalize clapping
Then it cuts away...
Awesome! I wasn't able to pause my DVR precisely enough to get those ones. Nice work.
LESLIE 2012!
My favourites are "Better Better Business Bureau" and "Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach"
"One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons"
I don't think my country even has this many raccoons.
"Memorial for those lost in the trampoline incident"
lol only in Pawnee. Let's have a moment of silence.......
Thanks for putting up the entire list! It's nice to see the farther you go down, the more important issues finally gets addressed. I love Leslie Knope! My favorites: free cookies at every street corner, and free cake when it's your birthday, for those reasons alone I would totally vote for her.
She's pro fewer libraries?? That saddens me a bit... Love this show though, Paul Rudd was excellent.
She has a personal vendetta against the library and someone in particular on their staff (I think it was Tammy 2)
yeah it was
Thanks to the intern that had to transcribe these. awesome.
This show is sooooooo underrated! Community gets all the whatever, but this is the giant sleeper!!!!!
agreed!
You missed Curfew for minors at the Pawnee Mall. Sigh!
I live in Europe and I vote for letting Leslie Knope get us out of debt! :)
"Four-way stops at every intersection" : Sadly, my own city seems to have this exact same (stupid) mindset downtown so it's hard to find the humor there. Anyway, thanks for the good transcription.