... File this under good/bad news. Old drinky-drink is bringing her wobbly antics back to television! Paula Abdul, who left American Idol in 2009 after contract negotiations with the show fell through (i.e. she wanted more money), will sit beside Simon Cowell once again. Abdul has joined the upcoming The X Factor as a judge. Let's not kid ourselves, The X Factor, which has assembled a less-than-big-name panel of judges so far, needed this badly. [Fox via press release]

... Simon Cowell, having established himself as a big-time TV player thanks to American Idol, has initiated Phase 1 of his plan to help the British invade America and take over. Now it's time for Phase 2: The X Factor. UK TV presenter Steve Jones (T4 Music) has been confirmed as one of the hosts of the upcoming talent show. He joins Cheryl Cole as the second unknown-in-the-States Brits taking important roles in the American version of Cowell's reality series. Also named host was Nicole Scherzinger, formerly of the Pussycat Dolls. [Fox via press release]

... BIO Channel has ordered 10 episodes of a new reality show starring Bristol Palin, reaffirming the reason I hadn't heard of BIO Channel until five seconds ago. I mean really, what kind of network orders a reality show about someone's non-celebrity daughter? What is wrong with you people!? [Deadline Hollywood]

... Dexter has made its first major casting decision for the upcoming sixth season, adding Colin "Son of Tom" Hanks to its roster. However, due to the secrecy surrounding the season, no character description is being announced. I think he's going to play someone who eventually ends up dead. [TV Line]

... The well-traveled Adam Arkin will be guest-starring on the next season of The Closer. He'll play a Bernie Madoff type. You know you've made some bad decisions in your life when your name as a character description becomes synonymous with "gigantic a**hole." [TV Guide]

... Kid Rock will be the next person roasted by Comedy Central. Doesn't he make fun of himself enough already? [Punchline Magazine]

... Apocalypse sign #12,483: Scott Baio is getting a new TV show on Nick at Night. The former Happy Days star will star in Daddy's Home, a sitcom following a TV dad who becomes a stay-at-home dad. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Bill O'Reilly will guest-star on the TNT drama Rizzoli & Isles this season. Apparently, O'Reilly and show creator Janet Tamaro know each other from way back when. Note to self: Never watch Rizzoli & Isles. Kidding! [TV Guide]

Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom