Project Runway All Stars has gotten a lot of guff for its lack of Gunns, Klums, and Korses, but you know what? I like it. So there. I think the panel Lifetime has assembled, with the exception of Isaac Mizrahi, brings a new flavor to the workroom and runway sequences, and the cast has been churning out great design while keeping things entertaining, if not downright hilarious. Even on a boring challenge week like this one—when the designers were asked to pick a gelato flavor and make a dress out of it in six hours, the Fastest Challenge in Project Runway History™—I found myself glued until the very end. Also, I like that the show is back down to an hour, as opposed to the 90 minutes that Project Runway Classic has become. That extra half-hour of sewing room scenes and coerced bitchery really does nothing for pacing.
So, onto what happened last night! Michael C. was in pole position, having won last week’s Miss Piggy challenge, and picked Grapefruit. Mondo went Cantaloupe, i.e. the thing you eat last in a fruit salad, Mila chose Milk with Sour Cherries (very exciting because it incorporates an actual color), and so on and so forth. Apparently there’s a difference between the color of Green Tea and Kiwi, but I didn’t see it. And Kara, who is my vote for the most insufferable All Stars contestant, whined about getting chocolate. “It’s not about the chocolate. It’s about the flavah!” Isn’t brown the new black or something, Kara? Then Diane von Furstenberg came out and some of the designers crapped their pants from excitement. The Christmas-morning look on Michael’s face was pretty priceless.
Can we talk about Austin in his wife beater and stonewashed denims and pedo-stache for a second? The guy is giving us Freddie Mercury realness, and I like it. Sadly, however, he’ll never be able to show his face in public again for having used a hot glue gun on his dress. Joanna showed up and did her rounds. Anthony called Mila’s dress a “color-blocked Christmas ornament disaster,” which tickled me for some reason. Mila thought Rami’s dress was of “questionable taste,” and Mondo had designed a bright orange kaftan, which Anthony pointed out was the kind of thing he “made in college.”
Off to runway. Guest-judging honors went to Miranda Kerr, one of the “hottest supermodels in the business.” My overall feeling about the dresses was that they looked like crap. True to their inspiration and time constraint, they were all some variation on "hastily scooped sherbert sundae." Until, of course, Austen “Madahgahscah Vanahllah” Scarlett’s dress showed up, and I was all, how did we whip that number up?
But Scarlett ended up in the middle. Judging came down to: Kara’s dress, which looked like rag doll maternity wear. Anthony’s weirdly structured top and skirt, meant to evoke a melting cone. (It was fugly, as was Rami’s, but Rami was safe.) Mila’s dress had its fans, including Ms. Kerr, but Mila accessorized it for Conan the Barbarian. Michael earned high marks for his satin geisha robe, which Diane loved, telling him, “Call me after the show.” April’s dress missed the mark in the bust and back, and everyone agreed it looked “better without the belt.” (That sentence is a kiss of runway death.) Mondo’s dress was a big hit, too.
In the end, Michael won it all, and invited Kerr to wear it with him in Palm Springs. The bottom two were Kara and April, and it was April who bit the dust. Too bad. I liked April’s toilet mouth and tough-girl attitude. Farewell, sweet April, who made a point of saying she’s 22 in her exit interview. Seriously? That’s it? How old was she the first time around? 14? Oh, get out of here April. You’re running way ahead of schedule.
Whose dress did you like the best this week? And are you warming up to the new judging panel like I am?