Oh great. Curb Your Enthusiasm ended another far too short season last night, with the premiere of the meta-Seinfeld reunion. The reunion, which Larry organized only as a means as getting back with Cheryl, ultimately aired without Cheryl or Larry's involvement. But they were reunited (despite a lack of mutual respect for wood), and it was another great finale for the show, almost as good as the finale for Season 6. Last night's inside jokes about the disappointing real-life Seinfeld series finale served to emphasize that, since then, Larry David has written a good deal of hilarious season finales. And given the laconic production schedule of Curb Your Enthusiasm, all of them—including last night's—could have been series finales. So I decided to rank the seven Curb season finales we've seen thus far, as we might not get another one.
7. Season 5: "The End"Larry decides to donate a kidney to Lewis after he meets his biological, Christian parents. When that turns out to be a mistake, Larry tries to get out of donating the kidney, but it's too late. He dies, but annoys his guardian angels (Dustin Hoffman and Sacha Baron Cohen) so much that they send him back. This episode was hilarious, but loses points because the summary I just wrote is actually what happened and that's totally wacky.
6. Season 4: "Opening Night"Larry stars in The Producers on Broadway. He forgets his lines, and right when the show is about to be ruined, he wins over the crowd by doing stand-up. This thwarts Mel Brooks' plan, as he thought that by casting Larry, no one would ever want to see The Producers again, and he could stop doing it. This episode also features roughly one second of Jerry Seinfeld. It was a satisfying end to the Larry in The Producers plotline, but comes in sixth because it wasn't even the best episode of its season, as that's obviously "Wandering Bear."
5. Season 2: "The Massage"This episode perfectly captured the annoyance of the "stop and chat," the existence of which is the primary reason I avoid going out in public. This is also one of the two season finales where things don't end nicely for Larry. Usually, he gets screwed all season and then gets one opportunity for vindication. Not so much when psychics and slutty masseuses are involved.
4. Season 1: "The Group"Oh man. The incest survivors support group. Remember, everyone, step counts. The only other finale where things don't really turn out so great for Larry, as his ex-girlfriend attacks his uncle at Cheryl's Vagina Monologues performance. (She was an actor before season 7!) Here's where it gets hard, any of the top four could be number one, really.
3. Season 3: "The Grand Opening"The chef with Tourette Syndrome who was thought to be un-fire-able because of his concentration camp tattoo, even though the restaurant Larry invested in had an open kitchen, turns out to just have written a lottery number on his arm. The season ends, as all TV everywhere should, in waves of profanity.
2. Season 7: "Seinfeld"Last night's episode. Mocha Joe, "having said that," respecting wood. If the series ends with this episode (and it probably won't) it might jump to number one. Included many important lessons, such as that Jerry Seinfeld should be on all the television shows.