After 24 glorious episodes full of corporation-mocking satire and slapstick-y situations, Better Off Ted is dead at the tender age of two (seasons, that is). While the exact cause of death is uncertain, it's likely that Ted's untimely demise came at the hands of its former Tuesday-night counterpart, Scrubs, which has been suffering from the terminal (and apparently contagious) low-ratings disease for quite some time.
Instead of giving Ted the chance to join its more-successful Wednesday-night comedy lineup—which features The Middle, Modern Family, Cougar Town, and the void left by Hank when it was axed after just two episodes—ABC opted to let Ted keep suffering on Tuesdays while it replaced Hank with Modern Family reruns. And as of tonight, the network will air new Scrubs episodes in the Wednesday-at-8pm time slot.
Ted is survived by its talented and under-appreciated cast members, some of whom have already landed starring roles on other shows even though the cancellation hasn't been (and probably won't be) formally announced.
Jay Harrington, who played the titular Ted Crisp, will bring his wholesome charm (and hopefully his raunchy sense of humor) to Nathan vs. Nurture, a new NBC comedy from the executive producers of Aliens in America. Prior to Better Off Ted, Harrington had several multi-episode arcs on big shows like Desperate Housewives, Private Practice, and Summerland.
But not all of Ted's cast members will be making such a smooth transition. This cancellation is the second suffered by Portia de Rossi, who played Veridian Dynamics boss Veronica Palmer. De Rossi previously starred in the similarly short-lived-but-beloved FOX comedy Arrested Development. At least we can take comfort in the fact that the Arrested movie is in the works.
Jonathan Slavin, who played ambiguously effeminate scientist Phil Myman, hasn't yet announced his post-Ted plans. Like Harrington, Slavin has a few multi-episode arcs under his belt, including one on Summerland. He also starred in Fox's gone-too-soon comedy Andy Richter Controls the Universe.
Malcolm Barrett, who played the yang to Slavin's yin as the lovably goofy scientist Lem Hewitt is also in limbo. Before Ted, Barrett had bit parts on Monk, Psych, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He also starred in the 2009 film Imaginary Larry and appeared in this year's Academy Award-winner The Hurt Locker.
Services will be held in front of televisions and computer screens everywhere, after which the show's quick-witted puns and unresolved sexual tension will forever live on in our memories. And whenever ABC decides to release the show on DVD.