Revenge: Panic at the Tea Party

I suppose we are just going to have to assume that Emily can do anything. She can kidnap someone from a scandalized bruncheon, she knows how the DVD label will look for a presentation without seeing it, she can stream and then record video files from the desktops of other people's offline computers like Salander from Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. Apparently you learn a lot in baby girl jail: how to shiv, how to mad-dog a child psychiatrist, and how to create real-time mirror links to desktops. Kind of wish I'd gone!

Revenge simply does not hold up if you put it under a microscope or think of Emily as anything other than a superhero whose power is comeuppance. But if you can blank out the resounding chorus of "BUT, HOW?! WHAT? WHO?" there's nothing left to keep you from enjoying the show, and it's starting to seriously pay off. Last night's episode contained a ton of great developments:

1. We finally have an opponent! Daniel's college chum Tilda Swinton has been busily deleting Emily's calls and plying Daniel with booze. I welcome an obstacle for the heretofore omniscient Emily.

2. The love triangles are heating up. While Jack showing up with flowers was fun and Daniel's smoldering drunken hurt is enticing, it's always the moments with Nolan that get to me. It's partly his impish banter with Emily and partly my suspicion that the actor would be very cute with different hair. Revenge's hairstylist has saddled him for whatever reason with the blonde moptop of a Swedish shepherd boy. With a few careful snips he could be a bargain-bin Jude Law.

3. The consequences of Emily's various revenges are starting to snowball. I loved all the accusations swirling about the senator from last week and our peek at Lydia's New York apartment. I cannot wait to see Lydia and Victoria rolling around on the burnished cement floor of that loft, clawing at one another's daytime evening gowns.

4. Victoria is complicated. There's been at least one moment in every episode where I felt bad for her, but last night established her as irretrievably awful. She bribed a psychiatrist to imprison a child! The next step up from that is building a candy house in the woods so you can snatch up Hansel and Gretel. Yet how can you not love a character who stands up at a tea party and shouts "I WILL RUIN YOU"?

5. This episode introduced some complications for other characters: Charlotte and Victoria's rocky relationship got dealt a shuddering blow. Daniel saw Emily talking with another man and was driven to drink by talented Academy Award-winner, Tilda Swinton. Things got sad!

The whole tone of this Revenge was a little edgier than the series has been, and: AWESOME. Now I want to see gritty flashbacks of child Emily/Amanda having to hot-tar the roof of a prison, or how about the financier who she destroyed trying to break into her beach house to confront her about her bad tip. There's a lot of potential for the series going forward, but it will definitely require the audience to be diligently disinterested in details. If we can accept that Emily has a wizardly ability to manipulate logistics off-camera, and if we can kindly ignore some of the worst green screen shots 21st century television has ever seen, Revenge could achieve the same levels of greatness as The O.C. back in 2005 or Melrose Place circa 1996 in its very first season.


Questions:

… What's worse, losing all your money or finding out your mom talks trash about you in therapy?

… Is HamptonsExposed your new favorite site? Wish I had registered that domain when I had the chance. Kind of impressed by how still the psychiatrist sits in the videos.

… Nolan: Is the show's hair stylist angry at him or is that look in style now?

… Who was that getting crunched in the preview for next week's episode?!

  • bonezrulz05

    Personally, I think Tyler has the hots for Daniel. It would explain a lot.

    Also what is with all the look-a-likes on this show? Amada's dad looks exactly like the Grayson's head of security. Michelle Banks is the spitting image of Michelle Bachmann(and just as stupid too).

    Personally, I think all the stuff Emily did is doable. What confuses you, Lily?

  • JohnRobert1

    if TV has taught us anything it's that rich people can do anything! she obviously has a secret team who kidnapped the doctor, because she is rich and can afford secret teams. clearly none of us are rich, if we were we would all know how to do these things and of course the dog is a vampire, one from the TVD, cause it goes out in daytime. clearly.

  • jaden84

    Great episode. Daniel's buddy college is crossing the wrong person. If and when Emily finds out what he's been up too, he's going to be in some serious trouble. In every episode Victoria shows just how awful she is. Seriously bribing a psychiatrist to institutionalize a little girl? For shame.

  • jacquimarie

    So..not really an important detail..but that dog has to be like 25 years old.

  • Ka113

    I can easily accept Emily/Amanda being able to do all these things off-camera. The show ain't about her ninjaing her way through an office to get to a computer and plant a traffic listening program in it.
    The same went for Terra Nova when the dad broke out of a prison and into a high security facility off-camera without any trouble. You have to understand that not all shows are about that.

    Anyway I'm just glad to have Emily Van Camp back on the tube in something I'm enjoying. I saw her in Everwood and thought she was fantastic. Just noticed she was in Brothers & Sisters. Never watched that show.. Is it any good?

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  • CurlyMC

    I could be way off. But methinks "Tilda" is totally into Daniel himself, so is sabotaging Emily/Amanda. He talks too much about his sex life as a cover. And going way out there right now, he may be the dead body or cause of it (if its Daniel) on the beach.

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  • SokkaAppa

    good episode but not great. A bit underwhelmed considering the hype

  • MallorySchuetz

    My question is this, just how old was Nolan when he started his company, because he appears to be roughly the same age as Emily and if her father gave him the start-up money before going to prison, then Nolan would have to have found a billion dollar company between the approximate ages of 9 to 13. (I doesn't really matter to me, Revenge will still be my favorite new show this season)

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    • ludoTV

      exactly! he needs to be in his 40s right but looks more like 25 or 30 at a push... maybe that is why he has the funny haircut.... the age is also a problem with the labrador http://popwatch.ew.com/2011/10/12/revenge-mystery-dog/
      but i agree, awesome show anyway

  • addict666

    Nolan and Emily look like siblings

  • aliSuz

    I loved this episode. It's just awesome.

  • LightningAnnie

    Way cool - the Hamptons Exposed website is a real one you can check out.

  • sunnysfunny

    I don't remember Nolan's hair in the flashback, but he was so much hotter with facial hair.

  • KevinG87

    everytime i see Nolan i keep thinking "why's the guy from the Josie and the Pussycats movie in the Hamptons?!"

    and i don't like Daniel's friend.. also does anybody actually leave their cell phone laying around casually like that? i take mine into the bathroom with me. rich people are stupid.

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    • Ka113

      You take your phone to the bathroom? You answer if someone calls while you're taking a dump?
      People are way to dependant on their phones. Leave it at home for a day. It won't kill ya :)

  • torontogirl98

    I love Nolan and totally agree about his hair!

  • mgilponte

    Lily, gotta love your Tilda Swinton reference. Somehow I can not stop myself from watching this show even though there are some ridiculous things going on like how did she drag the therapist to that place. Oh well... And why is Emily van Camp so likeable even when she's not being nice to Nolan and why is he so likeable as well. What is it with this show? Please help me!

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