Revolution "The Love Boat" Review: Steamboat Charlie

Revolution S01E16: "The Love Boat"

The best part about Revolution is not knowing AT ALL what kind of episode you will get from week to week. Last week's "Home" was a lovefest of sorts, with an old girlfriend of Miles and Monroe coming between the two and causing quite a mess. Last night was a complete shift in tone as the ironically titled "The Love Boat" was overflowing with hate. Not that tone is a big issue with Revolution, especially when every episode ends with a rootin' tootin' bullet-wasting shootout, but there was something particularly different about "The Love Boat," as though there were orders from above. I did some investigating using my background as a skilled journalist, and when that didn't pan out, I made up this fake letter from NBC bosses that I think may have led to what we saw in "The Love Boat" (coffee ring = legit):

And it worked! Everyone was acting SUPER TOUGH and every three seconds someone had a gun drawn on someone else! This was like The Expendables 3: Still Expendable! Do you know why? Because this is WAR. All that stuff before was just a tickle fight compared to what is going on now. Revolution came out guns-a-pointing-and-sometimes-shooting in "The Love Boat," but unfortunately for Revolution, that doesn't necessarily make it better. It makes it a lot more of an entertaining mess, however.

Following last week's change of alliance, this week Tom Neville joined Miles' Power Rangers without so much as a telegram warning Miles he was doing so. Georgia Federation President Kelly just sent him to Miles' door with a note, not even another officer to confirm Neville's new position. Clearly the idea here was to dismiss the pleasantries and get right to basking in the tension formed with Miles and Neville working side-by-side, and the writers found the perfect way to get on with it without question. Ladies and gentlemen, the most eloquent piece of argument-annihilating dialogue ever crafted:

Neville: "If you don't work with me I'll take it all back, and you can go back to being the general of my nuts!"

I think Giancarlo Esposito found his tombstone epitaph. Seriously, Esposito said that line. Gus Fring said that! I rewound it about 15 times (not exaggerating) because I couldn't believe it's what he actually said. Neville would later go on to call Jason a "selfish little prick," pretty much covering the anatomy of the male crotch area. Why stop there? Why not call Charlie a "stinky taint"? I will say one thing, though. Esposito is handling his material like a pro. Though not creative or particularly nasty, the lines he says carry some extra oomph simply because Esposito knows how to deliver them with maximum effect.

Neville also came with word of their next mission: they were to kidnap a scientist who was making Anthrax for Monroe and get him to work for the peach eaters of The Georgia Federation. And we knew they would be successful doing so, because "The Love Boat" opened with one of those action-packed flashforwards showing them kidnapping the scientist before jumping back in time with a "Two Days Earlier" reverse. But that technique of starting ahead in time, called In Media Res for "In the middle of things," only works when it adds something to the story. Usually the In Media Res itself is cut short of the result of the sequence to build tension. But nope, not here. Here we saw them walk out with the scientist before the credits ran. A few minutes later we found out that they had to kidnap the scientist. And by the time the episode caught up to them trying to kidnap the scientist, which was a mere 12 minutes into the episode, we knew what was going to happen. Instead of building tension, it deflated it like a sad week-old birthday balloon. This was a lesson in exactly HOW NOT to use In Media Res. Clearly the producers weren't happy with the original opening (which I assume was that weak firing squad bit) and cut and pasted the scientist rescue onto the beginning. 

Scientist Dr. Ethan Camp (played by Timothy Busfield, who is always welcome on my screen) in hand, the real drama of "The Love Boat" was then free to play out. The group used a steamboat to go undercover and sneak across borders, which was the best creative decision this show has made since showing Daniella Alonso in her underwear. First, it looked fantastic. Kudos to the location scout for finding some good Carolina river that looked like war-torn turf to boat up and down. Second, the containment of a boat turned it into a compressed box of tension, instigating the characters to interact in close quarters with no escape. Great!

But like a horny teenage boy making his first visit to the Bunny Ranch, Revolution didn't know what to do with this great situation that fell into its lap. In order to get Dr. Camp to comply, Neville kidnapped his family. Charlie, Norah, and Jason were morally opposed to that, while Miles and Neville felt it was a necessary act, this being war and all. Never mind the fact that Charlie, Norah, and Jason have no problem murdering tons of people. Remember, Charlie almost stabbed an innocent man in the eye with a chopstick shank once, and that was before her transformation into the bad dude she is now. It seemed to me like taking the scientist and his family away from madman Monroe was actually a GOOD thing no matter what, considering Monroe would hunt Dr. Camp's family down and slaughter them if he didn't work for him. It was hard to get into the debate when I felt that one side (Charlie) was clearly wrong, but "The Love Boat" was all about full-steam-ahead pacing, even if it didn't make sense.

What transpired next was nothing short of very entertaining total chaos, so buckle up and get ready for a bunch of run-on sentences. Monroe guards came on the boat for an inspection, but Miles, who is the most recognizable person on the planet ESPECIALLY to the Monroe Militia, didn't even go below deck. The guards got bribed away with diamonds, because everyone has diamonds, and one of them gave Miles an "I know you" look that would come back to (almost) haunt them. Charlie started a mutiny by locking Miles in a cabin below deck, Jason chloroformed his dad, and then all of a sudden their boat was side-by-side with the boat that held the Camp family (that wasn't explained). Neville woke up and picked Revolution lock number 1,000, Miles just exited the cabin through a hatch in the ceiling that was there all along, and everyone drew guns on each other. At some point Miles changed his mind about the kidnapping and punched Neville, and just when the boat captain was going to shoot Miles and his crew under orders from Neville (now Neville has more authority than Miles? That's not right...), the guards who came on the boat before started shooting Neville's boat crew from stationary guns on the shore that were there the whole time! You'll have to ask them why they waited until that moment to start shooting and how the managed to shoot JUST Neville's men when it was open season on everyone, particularly Miles. Then, in the middle of the firefight, Miles and the good guys took the scientist and his family onto the other boat and just putt-putted away while the Monroe gunners ignored them. It made absolutely no sense. This script was clearly written on the fly with no thought to anything except filling it with action. If they hit a road block, the writers just wrote in someone else to shoot at something or came up with a handful of diamonds or picked a lock or made a hatch appear. And it was kind of glorious in that way. At least it wasn't boring. The hardest part was keeping track of what side everyone was on. People changed their minds more than a cat in a doorway.

In one final unnecessary time jump two days later, Neville came back to Miles' camp, pointed a gun at him, and threatened to take back the men that President Kelly gave him. All that so Miles could say, "At the end of the day, what do you think President [Kelly] cares more about? Your pride, or a win?" Did Neville really think he could just take "his" men back because he wanted to? Does anyone here know how war works? Did they have to make Neville so unbelievably petulant? Does this show equate drama with the drawing of guns and third-grade name-calling? What is the damned chain of command here!?!?

Then Norah randomly had sex with Miles.   

MEANWHILE (yes there's more), Rachel and Aaron were traveling across the Great Plain Nation to The Tower. We saw another glimpse of post-power America, and it was even worse than Monroeland. Kansas was full of savages! It was like a huge encampment of homeless people in tents cooking rats over coals. Rachel and Aaron hadn't eaten in four days (nice planning there, guys, couldn't you have traded some diamonds for Chex Mix at least?) forcing Rachel to STEAL food from a grizzled hobo. The hobo busted them, so Rachel turned all awesome and shot him dead, starting a chase with some other hobos in pursuit. Then Rachel fell down a hill and broke her leg, so they hid out in the back of a van. The hobos caught up to them, but Aaron saved Rachel's life then Rachel saved Aaron's life because Lord knows that Aaron can't walk half a block without needing his life saved.

It wasn't until the final minutes that this silly storyline finally got to the frickin' point and Rachel showed Aaron that book of Tower secrets she had. In it was a newspaper clipping of a younger Aaron and the groundbreaking software he created, indicating that his research was key to the blackout. It was supposed to be a mind-blowing moment, but my mind is still in mint condition. Why did Rachel wait until now to tell Aaron? Didn't she shoo him away in a previous episode when Aaron tried to help her figure out the secrets inside? Must all network serialized sci-fi dramas play this game of holding secrets until the end of the episode when it makes no sense to do it that way?

BUT WAIT! There's more! Back at what I assume is The Tower, super computer genius Grace (remember her?) was reduced to elevator repairman and fixed the lift. Her guard decided to go down to the mysterious Level 12, but he only made it to Level 7 before some mystery thing cut out the security camera footage and shredded him to bits. It had a cheesy knock-off Lost feel to it, and potentially opened up a whole new layer of Revolution that I'm not sure anyone wanted. It's a little too soon to care about this other than the potential addition of an out-of-place monster because The Tower seems so far away from where the main characters are, but I'm all for it. The more ridiculous this show gets, the better.


NOTES

– Charlie got smacked!

– Neville did have one actually good line of dialogue when he summarized the letter from President Kelly for Miles: "I hate to see your lips move while you read, so I'll paraphrase."

– Neville also calling Charlie "the most irritable pain in the ass I have ever known" was pretty spot on, too. That means Neville covered "nuts," "prick," and "ass" in this episode.

– So some guys can make sonic guns and nukes in this post-power world, but a presidential wax seal can't be duplicated and is automatically official? I like that the world is between technological and Stone Age, but there has to be a bit more of a rule drawn up between the old and new.


Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter if you want to: @TimAtTVDotCom






Comments (87)
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You have a broken leg, you're starving and you land up with 2 dead guy's horses. Wouldn't you use them to transport you seeing as you haven't eaten in 4 days so your energy levels are almost finished? Or better still, eat one of them? Come on writers.... make it a little more realistic would you....
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So, Charlie was aghast at the idea of holding the Anthrax Doctor's family hostage but an episode prior was saying, "If he didn't pull the trigger on her, I would have"?
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Neville is awesome. He said so many bad things and did so many things I would be morally opposed too in reality but don't seem to give a shizz about in the fictitious world of Revolution. So how many times has Charlie been smacked now?
- Aaron served a purpose. Good for him. I used to wonder why he managed to survive this long? I mean for all intents and purposes he should have been dead in the pilot, but like the little engine that could he kept trudging along. All because he's supposed to serve a purpose in the future. Huh. Who'd have thought it?
-One thing that the annoyed me most. The complete and utter randomness of the Miles and Nora sex. Like what? Where did that come from? It was like they realized they had a minute of screentime they didn't use so they said okay let's do this. Nevermind the fact that in the time since she disappeared offscreen during the mutiny and appeared in his bunk in the buff, she scrounged up some serious extensions and tossed in some highlights. In a post apocalyptic world a girl still finds ways to get her seductress on. If she'd have pulled some eff me heels out I would have been done. Seriously, that was the most random, unnecessary, wtf moment.
-The biggest WTF of the episode? But Charlie of course. They can't pick and choose when they want her to be the moral compass of the show. She can't go back and forth with being the moral one and being the most ruthless. Make up your mind woman! Please! The girl who was morally opposed to everything Miles was doing this week...just because, was the same one that was willing to put a bullet in an innocent woman whom her uncle (daddy? what like I'm the only one thinking it!) used to love, just to kill Monroe. She didn't bat an eye over killing an innocent. She was the same one the week before that going on about how they're in war. The same one who shows no remorse for taking a life. Seriously, Charlie? Now you're back to that even more annoying season one Charlie who thought batting your eyelashes at a guy coming at you with a Samurai sword was more effective than Miles going all Mortal Kombat on someone? Given their circumstances and all the crap that they've done before, I didn't see where this whole kidnapping thing was any different than anything else. But then Miles thanked them for helping him "come to his senses" and everything that could have been good about this episode was washed away.
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Omg, the poll options brought me to tears :D
This show is ridonculous
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Story is summed up above, but isnt it strange that in season one ya had muskets, swords, and bows, steam train being a vital threat, little or no antibiotics and few boats in general (English lady couldnt find a boat home and no boats for river crossing) but this season everyone and their brother has a sub machine gun, rifle and pistols, Even the poor folks in the steppe plains country. Monroe troops have multiple light machine guns handy for ambushes, private steam boats numerous enough that Manroe must have a steamboat patrol for the river and a lab to play around with anthrax. Guess we had a big tech splurt in the last year.
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OK if you are going to set up a trap by letting your boat sit "abandoned" then PLEASE don't do it within shooting distance of a Monroe Militia bunker.
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Tim, that was an excellent review for an excellent episode. At first it seemed as if you were going to back away from Love Boat's awesomeness, but you gave made the same decision a lot of other people made. It's like they're just throwing in any idea that they ever had but were told previously: 'that's not what we're looking for right now'.

This show is crazy random, and i'm loving every minute of it. That Charley slap is brutal seeing it in (i'm assuming) 2x speed gif form. Anyways, kudos again for a very spot on review.

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This show has many obvious problems and in this episode i discovered, or realized another. Each episode tells a story that ends in nothing. like in this one with the biochemist. Beside wasting a guest appearance like timothy Busfield, they spend the episode saving him and then send him on his merry way along with the anthrax storyline into oblivion. WHY. I want that story. Give it to me. You owe me that story.
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In the beginning i was willing to give this show a chance, because well... post-apocalyptic setting yey, but now i just think they should fire all the script-writers and producers and rehire new ones, because this is getting ridonculous. Today an illegal alien is not a rare sight in the US, which means that even with today's security people still find ways of immigrating illegally, so what't stopping the whole Plains Nation of just jumping the fence into Georgia? It's not like they would prefer to eat rats rather than peaches me thinks. The whole political and cultural setting of the Revolution universe is so unbelievable that it makes it hard to invest anything in the show.
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Any other Southerners insulted that they made the Southerners a bunch of capitalist pigs? Yeah, just throwing that out there.

Also, Gustavo Fring saying Miles Matheson could be the general of his nuts was just about the most awesome thing I've ever experienced re television. I think I wore out my rewind button for that one. I'm going to find some way to use that line in my everyday life.

I love this show. I know it has its limitations, but I'm hooked.

PS : I'm mostly hooked because of Gus. If he leaves, well, I can't make any promises. Nor can I ever remember his character's name on any other show than Breaking Bad. Ever.
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Release the Kraken!
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This show is so stupid at least Charlie got punched in the face again :)
Neville really nailed it when he said that Charlie was a pain in the ass
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In media res is a contribution to theatrical practice from the 5th century bce Greeks. It did not involve "showing", merely explaining through exposition (which the French foppishly call the "obligatory scene". For example, townspeople come to Oedipus, "There is a plague on the town". Oedipus says, "I know. I sent my brother-in-law to Mount Olympus to find out what it means. Oh, here he comes now. Creon- "We have to find the murderer of Laius, the last king. Oedipus- "Let's get to work."
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the nanobots have formed an entity protecting the tower
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Charlie gets smacked about so, so much. What ever happened to chivalry in a land without power?

Level 12 - I'm going for a self-aware nano particle thing much like in Michael Crichton's Prey.
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What's with the Stephen King references?
Randall Flynn, an episode called "The Stand" and now walking towards The Tower?
Am I missing something? I'm sure there are other Stephen King references thrown in. (I seem to recall 'Children of the Corn' being used in dialogue.)
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It's based on The Stand and has thrown The Tower in, either because The Dark Tower is a fantasy answer to The Stand, as well as King's own take on LotR;
hence all of the references - and that episode with the library, where Miles' mate shows The Stand and says, 'it's about the end of the world...' when he should've added 'and it's WELL WRITTEN!'
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Sorry, I meant to say: or because the writer's are that terrible and needed some way of reversing the effects of the black-out - which is basically the only way to actually end the show :)
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Here's to hoping a statisfying conclusion awaits us at the end of however long we waste watching this show :p
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Nope, still not watching this stupid show, just like Once Upon a Time which I stopped after s02e02.
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OMG when you think this show can't get messier, bam!. Everything you said is gold, seriously, who writes these scripts and WHAT ARE THEY ON?
Totally the smoke monster in that elevator, and Rachel and Aaron are now Frodo and Sam to me...
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I usually just leave my brain somewhere safe while watching Revolution. It's so entertaining I can't be bothered worrying about the plot-holes and ridiculous dialogue! Nobody can say it's jumped the shark either because, by god, it's jumping over sharks every five minutes.
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Ya, as soon as I saw the boat captain twisting his wrist in that twisty tie, I knew it was all over. The whole Neville lockpick was icing on the cake. And don't get me started on the hatch above Miles. Best episode yet!
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stupid review
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Such an insightful comment with solid reasoning and clear logical evidence!
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Stupid sarcasm. The review WAS stupid.
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Agree, the review was accurate. But one can still like the show when it has such illogical storylines and bad acting. Thta's probably what he wants to say.
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Review was accurate; you'd make an awful writer.
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Why? Because you didn't agree with it?
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OK seconds after proving that bringing fat and stupid Aaron for any reason whatsoever anywhere is akin to taking your life into your own hands -- I mean, seriously, Rachel had a compound fracture and was still more equipt to living life in the wild. She took out the two enemies with guns with a severely broken leg while Aaron was sweating and pouting. We now realize WHY she brought this mound of poop with her on her 'TOP SECRET MISSION' to the Tower -- er not exactly - but at least there is some reason. Its not because any of the characters need him to be with her but rather its the STORY that needs him with her. How convenient that she can be taken out of the story by a broken leg and all you need is a big secret to make Captain Useless necessary. Even his response to that was kind of 'Get the F Out of Here'. That is just lazy writing to serve a charcter whose actor must have incriminating evidence against Kripke.

Loved how easy it was for Neville to just stroll in - there was no reason or explanation for the ease at which this was accomplished - this letting a guy who has been your real number one enemy (they've had so many blown chances to kill Monroe but we all know Miles is in love with him) - and now he comes in and they just willingly except a half-baked (the writers throughout this series except that they have got to be fully baked) story that seemed proposterous. He was an enemy with command over an army just minutes ago. Is Neville just the ultimate 'Good German'? Is it that the writers just said, OK this isn't going to make any sense to lets just give him a special sealed document and some vague orders have him spout some bitchy dialogue to everyone and he's the sore thumb in the team, but he's in the team! Yeah, whatever.

Loved Tim Busfield's hit and miss episode - he was rarely around, we formed no informed decision about his character or his wife and daughter, we know nothing except that he makes chemical weapons but because he has a family he's really just a good guy?!? - and then they just stick him on a boat and take him to freedom. What? Nice bringing in a nice quality charcter actor just as a device.

This show got renewed and is one of the most waste of time hours on television on a tanking network. The only saving image from this dumb episode was the lovely Daniella Alonso's 'Norah' walking out of a huge plot hole in her panties - the only reason we realized she was in the epsiode was because we remember her saying 'when we get to shore I'm heading somewhere else', a sentiment all viewers must have when watching this show, and now, she decides - no, I just need to get laid. She's too cute to pick apart the reasons that scene had absolutely no place. She sat around watching him pine over any girl whose ever been around his pants, or Jack Bauer's:), since returning from Winter break (yet the viewer hasn't been given a single reason why any of these women would want him but lets forget that) and now since she's the only option he has left she decides to just give him a taste? Where is your self respect woman?

This episode needed more of Cardinal Della Rovere. He was just around so we knew that Monroe was putting him back in his place in the "Monroe is an Evil Prick" scene of the week. Also needed some 'Jeremy' because lets face it - Mark Pellegrino seems to be the only actor in this cast having fun.
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Eric Kripke needs to come back to the Winchesters because the Mathesons is not really his cup of tea :D
This episode was so much entertaining - in his silliness - than the last ones and the ending was actually intruiting.
Wé need Zombies or mutans or both :D
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I liked this episode. Revolution has plot holes the size of Alaska, but this episode was fun and entertaining. :)
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Okay...I've had enough. I can no longer sit idly by while these episodes keep getting churned out with all the speed, consistency, and quality of shit after a 2 week beer binge.

I have, in the meanwhile, been supplementing my hate-watching/hate-posting with another gem of laughably poor television in The Following. Dear Lord...dear, dear Lord...

But the king has returned in Revolution; the unscrupulous master of irresponsible story-telling and character building. Every point has been made by everyone on this board and by Tim up above. But one thing continues to rag me -- what the hell is the point?

I realize it's almost an ironic question to pose at this point, but really...what the holy hell is the point of 90% of the moving talking heads in this show? Monroe moves nary a pubic hair to quiver with his boy-band angst. Neville's dialogue, while growing more original, is pretty tongue-in-cheek overall. Charlie..............then there's Miles. Oh, Miles. Whenever he's not auditioning for the school play with melodramatic responses to backstories no one knows about -- backstories, mind you, that never really develop into anything nearly appropriate enough to illicit said melodrama -- he's too busy not stabbing 15 gun-wielding people like he did in the pilot. Everyone else in that group; I honestly don't remember them.

The only point I see now (after Danny was found then immediately killed, and all the talk of murdering Monroe was discovered to be hyperbole time and time again), we're left with two people heading toward a mystical tower called, "The Tower." A moniker inspired by the very structure it apparently is. So Aaron and blonde-girl-I-can't-be-bothered-to-remember-the-name-of, are going there to no doubt be disappointed by whatever crazy shit happens. But that storyline takes up maaaaaaybe 10% of every episode. Also, elevators scare black people.

I'd like to think this show is best experienced like a twig on the shoulder of a mighty stream; just go with the flow. Yet, I'm compelled to ask the question: what the hell is the point now? What are we watching? And to everyone hate-watching, what are we ironically watching? Drawing from the hypothetical story the show pretends to have, what is happening? At least The Following had set parameters, goals, and checkpoints. Revolution is a miracle. It just sits there staring at us accomplishing nothing, spilling drool from its slightly agape smile below the vacant, lazy eyes of a lobotomized dwarf. Revolution just is, for the sake of is-being.

Maybe I just answered my own question.
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You are probably right, but it's just done so well, and I want to see how it all ends.
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To be honest, it was a great smack. Tracy's best performance of the episode!

Thanks again Tim for a great review, it is part of the Revolution experience every week.
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This show is a stinky taint
I'd write more but someone just pointed a gun at my head...
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I hate it when that happens...except when they go full Swordfish of course.
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I still find it hard to take Neville seriously ... I see him and still get flashbacks to his guest role on Chicago Hope, despite all his other nice work since.
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I like how Grace fixed the elevator but then when she realized something was coming back up, it just didn't occur to her to shut down it down again, trapping said "mystery" between floors....
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You are completely right. There must me many more of these great moments of 'why'ism' every episode. Why don't we see Revolution as a puzzle? Tim gives us the outline of what's not really logical in this episode and we fill in the rest of the gaps.
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There's ALWAYS a ridiculous line that makes me laugh in every episode. This week, it was Miles telling Neville "I will snap your pencil neck." I feel like the writers think it's a requirement to have Charlie punched or slapped in the face too. That just makes it even funnier. And bring on this monster on Level 12. I can't believe they went there, but then again, I can. And nothing else will surprise me. Aliens? The nanites are based on Aaron's work and Alien technology? This could be great!
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I really liked this episode, and not because Charlie got smacked. She pointed a gun at a guy twice. She's lucky she only got smacked. Neville is not a nice man.

But Neville was a big part of why I liked the episode. He is on the same team now, but is still a bad guy. And no one forgives him, not even his son. Also, he was funnier than his other attempts. He may be willing to call everyone else out for their flaws or weaknesses, but he clearly hates it when someone does it to him. Absolutely a middle manager mentality. So I loved it when "General" Miles finally pointed out that he was smarter than Neville, and more important to the Georgians to boot. I only wish his son had pointed out that Neville may have done some things to survive, but he had done a lot more to be able to hide in the biggest crowd of people he could find. Thats not a survivor, that's a coward.

And Norah. O how sweet is Norah. First she tells Miles she isn't going to stay in his little unit because he isn't the changed man he said he was when he came looking for her. And then, when it turns out that maybe he is... she does a sexy little dance on his lap in a sexy pair of black panties. Which was also great.

It did make me wonder one thing. In a post-electric machinery world, how do they make new underwear like that. That wasn't 1890s granny panties she was flexing in. Not the 6 to a bag tighty whities that may have survuves in a Kmart warehouse for a couple of years. Those were clearly the kind you buy on little hangers, in my favorite stores. And while they may have had a warehouse full of them when the lights went out, they weren't going to be enough to last 15 years. Especially with no electric washer/dryers and no more shipments coming in from the little Chinese labor kids. So where does she get them? When Charlie was given the sexy dress in the early episode, they made a point of saying it was hard to get, as I recall. So does Norah have a connection to a panty underground? or does she only have the one pair she breaks out when she gets a steamy feeling from a guy.

And condoms have an expiration date on them. I know for a fact they can still work past that date, but even I am not stupid enough to think they last for 15 years. And I can be pretty stupid. and either Miles is too, or he has in fact perfected the pull out manuever that we have always claimed works just as well.
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Neville is an opportunist. He has no ideology (Monroe? Georgia? All the same to him), no nobler goals (not even his son). Perhaps the only noble action he has performed was protect his wife whom he loves in his own particular way. Still if she "betrays" him, I have no problems seeing him turn against her in a heartbeat.

About the other issues involving clothing items of all sorts this is something the show never cared to explain and I don't know how necessary that would be for the story. It seems many people died after the blackout (they really exaggerated the following chaos). Well connected people would be able to get these items either new or used. Now, condoms and medication would be a serious problem, and alternatives have to be found sooner or later.
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exactly. a herion dealer can rise to power, a condom or panty maker has an equal chance of finding good old American sucess too. which may have nothing to do with any part of the future army movements, but shouldn't someone at least mention the lack of fun undies and prophylactics. I realize it took them until this episode to mention the lack of penecillin, but going forward, the pantiy/condom issue needs to be addressed.
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Yes, mentioning that could add to extra realism, or humor, at least. In fact that reminds me of another Kripke show, Supernatural, in which Dean traveled to 5 years in the future and found the earth ravaged by the croaton virus. Chuck, who later we'd learn to be God, or God knows what, but who at that time was in charge of supplies for the troops, advised past Dean, "When you go back to the past, you know, toilet paper! Hoard it, like gold. Because, you know, IT IS gold."
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TV.com, please don't ever let anyone else but Tim review this show. I would hate to see anyone try to treat it seriously, assuming that's even possible. These reviews are hands down my most favorite things to read here currently.
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This episode was quite entertaining: so full of mess and inconsistencies that it becomes laughable. But Revolution is still behind The Event which was so ridiculous that I was laughing a lot more. But there is hope for Revolution, it is not too far from the Event
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Funniest review of a terrible show ever.
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Anybody else notice the ELECTRIC bilge pump that was running on the steam powered boat?
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SSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Laughing uncontrollably......)
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They sure waited a long time to tell us why Google guy is a part of this show.
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"...some mystery thing... [...] ...an out-of-place monster..."

It's not much of a mystery. It's obviously a bunch of flesh-eating nanites. I'm more curious about why they're there, and why they don't come out of there. I think the answer is that they were designed that way to work as a security system to protect something important down there (like an off switch). I just don't understand why they switched the elevator back on after eating that guy.
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I admit, it's hard to look away. The Stand this ain't - perhaps we should call it something like the squat. There are much better things to review but Tim's got this like an extra bonus train wreck each weak - yes I misspelled it, or did I? Viva La Revolution...
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Then I randomly had sex with myself...
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That explains it all.
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"Then Norah randomly had sex with Miles."

haha, Yea that really looked so out of place. At this point, i'm just waiting for when they kill Neville or for the writers to finally find a way to ruin his character so i can drop this series. I was laughing my ass off and kept wondering WTF when miles didn't hide but instead casually stood among the Monroe soldiers when they came on board. We all knew where that was going. When charlie kept opening her mouth about the scientist guy, we also knew where that was going. By the way, i have to say thanks to Neville for slapping the sh..out of her, which makes it how many times she's been slapped or punched now? Oh well, keep it coming.
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"It was supposed to be a mind-blowing moment, but my mind is still in mint condition."

I don't usually comment on reviews, but I had to single out this wonderfully clever bit of snark.

As for Revolution, I still watch it because my wife and step-daughter do, but I have to struggle to not throw things at the screen. It's so frustrating to see glimpses of what this show could have been, but the opportunities are wasted almost immediately.

Now we are seeing other 'countries' (which all stop precisely at the old American border) and I think 'great, finally, this will be cool!'. But then the writers don't think it through, like how the Kansas state is just starving nomads, like there were no towns or crop land before the crash.

Then there's things we're seeing more, like steam powered boats and such, which have been mostly absent, but still nothing as simple as bikes. The illogic of the world creation just keeps piling up.

But the cardinal problem is the writing. Please, someone explain cause and effect to the writers, or motivation, or character creation, etc. It's abysmal. Each week's script is written like it was an essay done by a college student who stayed out all night partying, and is now trying to hammer out something quickly that is vaguely coherent in the short time before class when he has to turn it in.

Seriously, some of these shows could crowd-source their scripts. Just create a premise, turn it over to the people like the fans (or amused parties) who comment here, and incorporate all the smart and logical suggestions they make about the show.

But alas, that won't happen. Revolution is renewed for next year, but I think terminal stupidness has set in on it already. I was hoping the hiatus would bring a retooling, and it did, but it seemed to consist of 'more guns' even less logic' than before.

By next year, so much show canon will have been established, that it will be impossible to sweep away the rot and start on a new path. And so yet another sci-fi show with a fascinating premise will be added to the dumpster of failed shows.
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Okay, just gotta ask. If the batshit crazy writers of Revolution switched places with the batshit crazy writers of Once Upon a Time, would we notice?
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Honestly, I believe the characters in OuaT would be better off for it. I have to find the good 3-5 minutes in every OuaT episode. Revolution's moments (which there are many more of) jump out in front of me screaming: 'look at what I just did!'
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Don't even put it out there dude. Please.
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I think it will be like an infinity looped human centipede.
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This show gets more and more ridiculous buts its like a guilty pleasure, I keep telling myself that I am not going to watch Revolution, and as soon as it is Monday, I cant wait to watch the next train wreck.

Also, to show that these writers dont believe in proofreading (or the equivalent), Nora's sex scene (which I was paying close attention to) involved her coming out in lingerie and a jacket. Then she turns away from the camera and removes her jacket only to see her naked back. Was the bra clipped on to the jacket? Is that the future?

I must admit, I am liking psychotic but brainless Monroe though. He is losing it and it is very entertaining.
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Dude, I thought I just THOUGHT I saw a bra or something. Like it was a shadow. I'm glad I'm not as crazy as I thought.
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Nah, Norah just switched bra into invisible mode. NBD
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I noticed that too and laughed out loud.
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My biggest problem with the no-sense-y-ness of this episode was actually something Tim didn't even mention. So 'The Plains Nation' was in Kansas, as it explicitly showed them running past a sign saying they were in Kansas. And that hobo guy says food is scarce? In the breadbasket of America? So the blackout killed the millions of acres of crops? Which can no longer be exported since there's no power? Shouldn't they all be fat on corn and bread? What about all the giant farms of cows and pigs and things? No farmers managed to keep their livestock going without electricity?
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I honestly hope they stick with this mini michael bay type stuff for the remainder of the season and just hire some writers to work exclusively on character development and push it aside til next season. Seriously Kripke I just know you had a board for the first five seasons of Supernatural and could plan the mythology accordingly. Don't be afraid here.

And randomly I would like to compliment brilliant casting. I kept forgetting that the Rachel/Aaron story and groaning when it came on. But when they came in on them in shadow I thought Charlie had gotten separated.

Also NBC promo department it was one thing to show Charlie and Jason kiss in general promos for the whole second half of the season but when you show us that they get trapped in some building collapse and then show Jason beat up in a hospital bed where he is beat up and Charlie fearing he had died but then show the building collapse and Charlie yelling for him um way to take any tension out of a story. I suspect that might have been a bigger story in the initial cut but Aaron willbe the bigger story next week. I hope.
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end scene was the most interesting part of the whole episode, maybe series so far.. what came up from level 7?! is it zombies? mutants? MUTANT ZOMBIES?! PLEASE BE MUTANT ZOMBIES!!
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Space Mutant Zombies would be even better!
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Teenage space mutant zombies !
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Teenage ninja space alien mutant zombie cyborgs probably.

Or the smoke monster as Tim suggested .......
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Ok, I have to confess - I'm no longer hate watching Revolution. I *like* this show. It's stupid and ridiculous, but I enjoy it. Talk about guilty pleasure.

1. The Truth was finally revealed - it's all Google Guy's fault! I knew it! That's why he can't die! The plot protects him! He will be invincible till they turn back the electricity.

2. Rachel - she's divine. With an open fracture of a leg and no antiseptics (not to mention antibiotics) she faces gangrene and a long painful death. However, she still managed to shot a guy with a shotgun. How cool was that? Elizabeth I love you. Sigh.

3. What's Her Name - everytime she smiles I remind myself that the girl is batshit crazy.

4. Many faces of Revolution's North America. So far we have:
- Monroe Republic - a military dictatorial state ruled by psycho.
- Georgia Federation filled with filthy and rich capitalists and ruled by Jack Bauer's wife, Teri.
- Great Plain Nation - the land ruled by poor and hunger where the only punishment is the capital one.

I want to see Texas now - I imagine they have armored cows, lots of guns and zealots (and maybe the nuclear bomb from Jericho)!

5. Where did Norah find such decent underwear? Was that a gift from Teri Bauer? Did she take "Work for me and I'll give you panties" kind of deal?

I want to see what happens next! Crazy, right?

Thanks for review, Tim!
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#5 I thought the same thing lol. Just like Andrea on The Walking Dead with her white lace thong. At least on TWD there's an argument to be made since the apocalypse was much more recent and there were far fewer survivors to claim all the remaining fancy underwear. But on Revolution it's been 15 years since any was manufactured and those certainly didn't look crocheted.
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#5 They never wash their underwear so it lasts forever.
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Ewww!!!
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#5, my thoughts exactly when I saw it. Can't have been that she was waiting for the right moment to use them (like a good bottle of wine) as she had been with him before.

There muist be a factory somewhere that has a number one priority in maiking decent underwear. What can be more important? There obviously also is another one that makes bullets, so that's covered.
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I can totally understand that. If I had to join one of the two armies a promise of a comfy bra would greatly influence my decision.
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Just the right amount of irony and humor….

In Tim's review, of course.
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I can't help myself, I just love this show! It's just entertaining in it's silliness. I don't care that nothing makes sense. I don't care that impossible stuff is happening. It barely even bothers me how annoying Charlie is (although I can't completely ignore that). I like my awesome TV shows, like Mad Men and Breaking Bad but this is just a fun thing to watch.
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Revolution writers have no b..ls (there, we covered that one too). If Miles actually shot the scientist when Charlie tried to free him, this epoisode would be a little better.

Erik Kripke is making this in to Tera Nova. Should go back to CW.

I wanted this show to succeed so much and every time I think its getting better..its not.
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It was Aaron that stole the food, not Rachel. She was just prepared for the consequences.
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