Ryan Jenkins Gives VH1 a Conscience, Sort Of

A real big mess.

Well, VH1's experiment in I-think-there's-a-hole-in-the-bottom-of-this-barrel-from-all-that-scraping reality television has reached what I hope is its nadir. As we're all probably aware by now, a contestant on two VH1 shows named Ryan Alexander Jenkins has been found dead in Canada, after allegedly murdering his Playboy model wife, leaving her mutilated corpse in a dumpster (her teeth and fingers removed, she was identified by her breast implants... gak), fleeing the country, and eventually taking his own life. So this is basically the most terrible kind of story, one made all the more sleazy and bizarre and of-the-zeitgeist because this troubled man was on these two reality shows.

Both the currently-airing Megan Wants a Millionaire and I Love Money 3 have been officially canceled, VH1 announced today. The speculation is that Jenkins actually won Megan, so the network was left with no choice but to pull the plug on the series even though it was already several episodes in. No one (except everyone) would want to watch a future murderer win a bunch of money, right?

The preemptive yanking of I Love Money 3 was done, I guess, simply for sheer decency's sake, though since that's never really been VH1's stock-in-trade, I'm honestly a little surprised the network acted so quickly. I Love Money is chock full of the disease-riddled, spray-tanned, corn chip-smelling disasters that VH1 has forged in its rotting Keebler Elf hut of a treehouse dream factory, so might Jenkins have just blended into the background until he was eliminated? Which then makes me wonder if he advanced pretty far in that one too. Cruelly, VH1 may have lost one of its best talents before he really had a chance to "shine" (read: tarnish.)

Like I hinted above, I don't doubt that a lot of us would honestly be pretty curious to watch more of Jenkins on either show, given that we now know he was capable of horrific acts, and that we as a country are pretty obsessed with murder and other depravities. And therein lies the weird post-millennial dilemma for VH1. You can near guarantee that if they aired both these shows they'd get boffo ratings. But VH1 would probably also then be the default tackiest, most soulless network on television. It's pretty close to that as is, but getting that bright red "Murderer Promoter" stamp on its forehead might just be the final straw. All hopes of entering purgatory permanently torn asunder. So they made the only decision they could. Not to take the high road, really, because that thing is wending wayyyy up the mountain from where the network's driving. But they did at least take a slightly elevated service road, rather than drive straight into the plastic clothing and weave-littered bottom of the TV gulch by passively promoting Jenkins' presence.

The ones you really should feel bad for--other than the victims' families and all that, obviously--are the other contestants on these two shows. Now they've whored and writhed and wriggled and jiggled and drank and cursed and firmly skipped the realm of normal society for... nothing. Nothing! The shows are done. One only aired a few episodes, one will never see the light of day at all. And you mourn today in America, because you know that right now at least a few of those hideous, gnarled creatures are sitting in their too-expensive Redondo Beach condos and are just really mad at Ryan. Not because he murdered his wife and left her mangled body in a parking lot. But because he had to go and ruin everyone else's fame hounding in the process.

America!