Scientists say no television for young children

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In a recent study, Dr. Frederick Zimmerman and Dr. Dimitri Christakis, both of the University of Washington's Child Health Institute, say new research indicates that toddlers under the age of 3 should not be allowed to watch television at all. They also say that even for older children, the negative effects of too much television outweigh the benefits of shows like Sesame Street.

Zimmerman's previously released studies showed that kids who watch too much television often turn out to be bullies. He also said that television has subtle effects on the learning development of young children. Studies of 1,797 children showed that watching television before the age of 3 was linked to poorer reading and math skills at the ages of 6 and 7. "For those who watch more than 3 hours of television per day before age 3, the negative impact is similar to the adverse effect of large differences in maternal IQ or education," Zimmerman said.

Upon hearing the news, the Teletubbies angrily rampaged through the streets until all scientists were destroyed.