A couple weeks ago, we watched some of Hollywood’s A-listiest actresses hump giant balls on Jimmy Kimmel’s “Hottie Body Humpilates” mock-infomercial. Now Jimmy has released the next chapter in what is turning out to be quite the comprehensive wellness program. Back again are Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and Emily Blunt—and this time they’re joined by the likes of Zoe Saldana, Amanda Seyfried, January Jones, Kristen Bell, Anna Faris, and Heidi Klum.
I’m going to try something different with this post. I’m not going to say anything about what I think about this video. Not a single thing! Because what do I know? I’m just some dude with a laptop. Instead, I’m going to throw it to some of my favorite people in the world, all of whom happen to be really smart, really funny female bloggers. Take it away, women!
Incoming Music Editor, The Village Voice
“Well, basically, f*ck all these women, especially ScarJo, who still has the comic timing of a tortoise with a head injury. This skit is too long and not funny, but I mean I guess that's par for the course with Kimmel. I mean, I think the ‘before’ pics of the women who engaged in that are kind of horrifying and offensive, but totally unsurprising in the context of Kimmel's past.”
Staff Editor, Movieline.com
“This video made me sad. Sad for Jimmy Kimmel, who poured himself into a skintight leotard for the sake of a depressingly unfunny video. Sad for the talented actresses—plus Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba—who agreed to hump exercise balls and smile idiotically for a tasteless late-night segment. And saddest for the viewers who expect more from a variety show. If you want to see a real comedian parody a fanatical trainer, see Ben Stiller in Dodgeball. If you need something to kill your impulse to laugh, see Jimmy Kimmel's YouTube Channel.”
Associate Editor, TV.com
"If I were Sarah Silverman, I'd be pissed that my ex hired a bunch of pretty actresses to be 'funny' in a totally demeaning sketch. It reminds me of that old sequence on The Man Show with girls jumping on trampolines, which also made my blood boil. Maybe I'm just not the target audience for The Man Show or this sketch. I don't go to Senor Frogs or watch wet T-shirt contests either."
Senior Editor, TV.com
“‘I swallowed a tapeworm’ is a joke from The Office; Kelly Kapoor swallowed one once. This sketch is too long—as they are wont to be—but it's fine, I guess? Hmm, I suppose there are a lot of workout video/diet plans tropes out there to lampoon... maybe Kimmel was trying to do something in the same vein as 30 Rock's recent "TGS Hates Women"? Probably not. Anyway, stay tuned, because there will probably be a Part 3!”
BLOGGER WHO PREFERS TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS
Possible Future Writer, Jimmy Kimmel Live!
“I don't find the video offensive at all—more so just not really that funny. And it's like four minutes too long. But I guess they needed time to flex their Rolodex muscle. Also Jessica Biel is just horrendous. Yeah, it's a lame concept. Honestly? I'd rather weigh 30 pounds more than Jessica Biel in exchange for some personality. I can see why people would be offended, but truly it's just poorly written and awkward.”
Okay, female readers of TV.com, what'd you think? I'd ask the guys, but since Jimmy didn't bother including them, why should I?