What to watch on Thursday, May 26.
Your life may seem like a telenovela, what with all the blackmail, fake mustaches, gilded daggers, and tearful, Spanish-language monologues, but at no point in telenovelas do characters ever get to sit down and watch three hours of television. So be happy (feliz)!
SEASON 8 PREMIERE, 8pm, Fox
So You Think You Can Dance
Mary Murphy returns! Yup, America's most lovable banshee will once again be a permanent judge on the only dance competition show worth your time. There are tons of reasons to watch this show, you should know how great it is by now (especially last season! Whew!). Plus, unlike televised karaoke competitions, a bad dance routine isn't painful to the senses! Basically, So You Think You Can Dance is no American Idol, but I mean that as a compliment. Tune in tonight for the first set of auditions.
SEASON PREMIERE, 9pm, Current
4th and Forever
Well, this looks great: A reality docudrama chronicling the 2010 football season of Long Beach Polytechnic High, a school that's turned out a huge number of pro athletes despite its location in a struggling community. I'm sure a comparison will be made to its fictional predecessor Friday Night Lights, so I guess the question remains: Does 4th and Forever have a theme song that will make me cry every time I hear it? Tune in to find out!
Tonight Biography FINALLY presents an hour-long special on Ted Williams, last year's internet meme who rose to fame as "the homeless man with the golden voice." It's a pretty cute story, except for the parts about debilitating drug addiction and felony arrests. Don't judge, we've all been there, you know?
SPECIAL, 9pm, MTV
Lady Gaga: Inside the Outside
It's nice to see little-known artists finally get their moment in the spotlight. Tonight MTV explores the life of an up-and-coming chanteuse who is completely new to the scene and very underexposed.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 11pm, Showtime
Speaking of underexposure: These guys' junk! (Opposite Day only). No but seriously, this show is definitely inappropriate, however, it's also nuts (sexy pun). Did you see the one where Brace (BRACE!) wept in front of a priest? Or the one where Nick (a MALE PROSTITUTE) babysat a strangers' child? Man, this show is really something. In tonight's season finale, drama erupts between roommates Nick and Jimmy. So anyway, congratulations on a great first season, Executive Producer RICHARD GRIECO! (What is even happening anymore?)
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Police Women of Broward County, 9 p.m., TLC
Swamp People, 9 p.m., History
Mounted in Alaska, 10 p.m., History
Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew, 10 p.m., MTV
Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo
River Monsters: Unhooked, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Swords: Life on the Line, 10 p.m., Discovery
True Crime with Aphrodite Jones, 10 p.m., ID
Secret Diary of a Call Girl, SERIES FINALE, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Anna Kournikova on Lopez Tonight, 12 a.m., TBS
Dana Carvey on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
James McAvoy on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Mike Tyson on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Seth Green on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
What are you watching tonight?