Now, we know Britain's Got Talent isn't to everyone's taste. Hell, we used to dislike it too. But once you've witnessed a few obscure "talent" acts it's really hard to divert your eyes again. It's like watching a chicken trailer overturn on the M4--you know you should be concerned for the escaping flock, but you just can't help but gawp and giggle.
There can be some truly talented acts among the hopefuls, but let's face it: it's the car crashes we tune in for. If it wasn't, ITV would just skip the auditions and go straight to the live shows.
A trampolining pig, football-playing dog and dubious Tina Turner impersonator make sure that this season, which starts on Saturday at 8pm, doesn't disappoint. If we still haven't convinced you here are some of the most ridiculous highlights from seasons past:
What grown man wouldn't want to dress up in a leotard and bounce a giant balloon on his head? It looks like fun to us.
This escapologist can't even escape from a cotton sack. At least he got the audience involved.
When your dog's bark sounds like an old man wheezing you should probably take him to the vet, not to the Britain's Got Talent auditions.
Will you be watching this year? Come on, be honest...