Funny funny funny soldiers funny funny funny cancer funny funny funny soldiers funny funny...— Paul and Storm (@paulandstorm) February 3, 2014
Ahhh, Super Bowl Sunday, the one day a year where we gather in our living rooms to drink beer and eat chicken wings and watch the 30- to 60-second mini movies that air between much longer and more boring movies about dudes tackling each other and throwing a weird-shaped ball around. Judging the commercials (and the halftime show) has long been the best and most exciting thing about the Big Game, which is why we've gathered most of them for you here. Which ones were your favorites? Which ones bombed? Which ones made you cry? Peruse our picks for best and worst ads of the day, then list your own in the comments!
Budweiser's Puppy + Horse = BFF
Some of you might be over puppies, but I'm not. Especially puppies who are best friends with horses.
Volkswagen's "Wingy Thingys" and Rainbows
Let's be honest: The rainbow bit was good, but the men's room scene was even better.
RadioShack's '80s Extravaganza
The '80s called. They want their stuff back. Brilliant.
Doritos' Time Machine
Admit it, you laughed.
Hyundai's Fathers of the Year
A good example of sentimental done right.
Cheerios' Puppy Negotiation
She drives a hard bargain, and I respect that. Also, more puppies!
H&M's (Nearly) Naked David Beckham
Some of you might protest the placement of this one, but I feel pretty confident that it's one of the best commercials in the history of commercials. It shouldn't be difficult to understand why.
Stephen Colbert's Wonderful Pistachios One-two Punch
Stephen Colbert can do no wrong.
TurboTax's Advice to... Skip Watching the Game and Do Your Taxes?
This whole series of John C. Reilly-voiced ads has been great, and this new Super Bowl-themed entry was no exception.
T-Mobile and Tim Tebow's Celebration of Not Having a Contract
You gotta appreciate Tebow's willingness to laugh at himself.
Butterfinger's Chocolate-covered Threesome
Nut-butt and Choco are gettin' racy. And we kinda like it, even if we're not so sure about the product itself.
Ellen Dances to the Beats
This is kind of a weird one, but it's got Ellen DeGeneres dancing, and I'm not going to argue with that.
Crackle's Seinfeld Reunion
Well-played, guys. P.S. Here's the related full episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, "The Over-Cheer":
Chevy Silverado's Idea of "Romance"
Hyundai's Johnny Galecki Flirting Fail
Kinda cute, but mostly boring.
Kia's Red Keys vs. Blue Keys
Matrix references? What year is it again?
Budweiser's Manipulative Homecoming
Call me a cynic, but beer commercials shouldn't make you cry. Especially by pandering to your sense of patriotism. Once you start doing this for all of our country's veterans independent of whether you can use the footage for a Super Bowl ad, then we can talk, Budweiser.
Heinz's Fake Flatulent Grandma
Fart humor. Cool.
GoDaddy's Attempt to Make Danica Patrick Unattractive
Still no, GoDaddy. Still. No.
Coca-Cola's Patriot Games
Yes, America is beautiful, but just like I didn't care for Budweiser's hero's welcome, I also didn't like Coke's "soda brings people together!" schtick. Also: A big fat WTF goes out to all the hatred this ad inspired on Twitter.
Axe for World Peace
I love you, ScarJo, but I'm super over the idea of "all I have to do is take my clothes off and this will go viral."
Ford's Rob Riggle and James Franco Team-up
Yeah, I'm tired of James Franco. I can say that, right?
Maserati's "Strike," Featuring Quvenzhané Wallis
Nothing against Wallis, but what was the point of having a 10-year-old headline a car commercial? More like strike OUT. (Do you need some aloe for that burn?)
Chevy's Surprise Guilt Trip
Okay, I'm going to hell, but this is not the type of commercial I want to see during the Super Bowl. First I thought it was just boring, then I realized the lady was a cancer survivor and thought "Oh, great, now I'm an asshole."
Jaguar's British Villains
Maybe it would've been better if Tom Hiddleston was dressed as Loki?
Bud Light's Star-Studded Weirdness
Admittedly, we liked the the part with with Reggie Watts. But otherwise this series of spots wasn't as clever as Bud wanted it to be.
Oikos Yogurt's Full House Reunion
Don't be gross, John Stamos. But oh, hey, Danny Tanner and Uncle Joey!
Peanut M&M's Hostage Situation
Fine, okay, sure.
Toyota's Muppets Road Trip
Well, who doesn't love the Muppets, right?
GoldieBlox' (via Intuit Quickbooks) Not-so-Quiet Riot
The company, which makes "engineering" toys for young girls, won their ad spot in Quickbooks' "Small Business, Big Game" contest and celebrated with cute kids and classic rock.
Bonus points for the Sarah McLachlan cameo, but how does this sell a car?
CarMax's Slow Clap and Slow Bark
Any commercial with Sean "Rudy" Astin can't actually be considered a bad commercial...
...but the puppy version of the same ad is probably better, right?
Chobani's Yogurt-seeking Bear
I'm getting some conflicting information here. The bear ransacked the store in search of yogurt but was graceful enough to leave the Chobanis he didn't take neater than I've ever seen them stacked before?
Squarespace's Post-apocalyptic Web
The internet, ladies and gentlemen!
Which of this year's ads were YOUR favorites?