Supernatural "Alex Annie Alexis Ann" Review: Well, That Was a Waste

Supernatural S09E19: "Alex Annie Alexis Ann"

Wow, so, that was like, really bad. 

I mean, at this point, Supernatural is typically balls-to-the-wall invested in the main story of the season, and while there were hints at Dean's Mark of Cain-inspired depravity this week, Dean brutally and irrationally slaying monsters isn't exactly unusual behavior. Jody Mills returned, and I love me some Kim Rhodes, I really do, but a rando monster-of-the-week episode—and a boring one at that—was just infuriating. Why are you wasting my time, Supernatural? All I ever want to do is love you!

I don't even know what to say, you guys. This episode just didn't matter. It's as though the show itself expended so much energy in last week's crazy-pants meta extravaganza that this week was designated for resting—and maybe next week too, based on the "meh" promo, which is alarming since it's the highly anticipated backdoor pilot for Supernatural: Bloodlines. I JUST WANT GADREEL AND ABADDON AND CASTIEL AND BOOGERTRON AND CROWLEY AND WHY ARE WE MESSING AROUND WITH THIS BASIC BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW WHY???

Here are the good that happened this week: 

1. Jody Mills lives to fight another day. Given Supernatural's track record for killing off side characters like it's no big thing (and on Supernatural, it really is no big thing considering how many resurrection options the writers have at their disposal), every time Jody appears I hold my breath and turn blue and pass out for, like, an entire commercial break because I'm just so nervous and let's face it, those resurrection options aren't used very often when we're talking about female side characters. 

2. There was at least a token acknowledgement of Dean's whatever at the Mark of Cain's influence. He's always been a little more bloodthirsty when it comes to vampire slaying than Sam, and I'm pretty sure he would have killed Vampire Henchman #2 with or without the mark, but he probably wouldn't have done it without Sam knowing, and he certainly wouldn't have been all sadistic and "LOOK AT ME, BITCH" with Vampire Henchman #3 at the end there. Maybe. IDK. Dean has issues. 

Everything else: 

LIKE WHAT THE F*CK WITH SAM AND DEAN BUT MOSTLY SAM BEING ALL "OH, YEAH, THAT VAMPIRE HOSTAGE CHICK TOTALLY SHOULD DIE EVEN THOUGH SHE'S HUMAN AND WAS PROBABLY BRAINWASHED FOR YEARS AND CAN'T HELP HERSELF." 

I kind of expect that attitude from Dean. That's not a dis on Dean, but just, historically, Dean has had a harder time seeing the gray areas in hunting. He's come a long way in nine seasons, but his first instinct is still "kill kill kill," especially when his target has a history of killing humans itself. 

I don't tend to expect that from Sam, though. Sam's history of being manipulated, brainwashed, possessed, and otherwise controlled through various intentional and unintentional means has historically made him a little more receptive to the nuances that come with human (and inhuman) interactions. For Sam to just jump on Dean's bandwagon, for no apparent reason—and even after Supernatural took detailed steps to make it clear that Annie hasn't been socialized outside of her nest, probably suffers any number of mental issues after spending so much time in captivity, and yet despite this, realized enough on her own to acknowledge that her home situation was bad and she needed to get out—was just very WTF. 

Then there's the fact that this episode was such an energy-suck following last week's so-relevant-it-hurts addition to the serialized aspect of Season Fine. 

At least the boys were pretty? 

I don't know. I'm crossing all appendages that next week's not-a-pilot pilot doesn't put me to sleep as fast as this week's snoozer did. 

– You know, I think I've said everything I have to say about this episode. NEXT PLZ!

What'd you think of "Alex Annie Alexis Ann"?