Supernatural: We Object to This Wedding!

Last week I made an argument that Supernatural's future should consist largely of standalone episodes, as the season-long arcs of Seasons 6 and 7 haven't been up to snuff when compared to the greatness of the main arcs from Seasons 3, 4, and 5. But when I made that argument, I didn't have Friday's episode, "Season 7, Time For a Wedding" in mind. Oof, this was a tough one to stomach.

Supernatural has been known to get goofy from time to time, whether by throwing the Brothers Winchester into a real-life television reality full of nut-busting Japanese game shows and soapy medical dramas ("Changing Channels"), making Dean scared of kittens ("Yellow Fever"), or taking a wrecking ball to the fourth wall and making Supernatural an in-show phenomenon ("The French Mistake," "The Monster at the End of This Book"). All those episodes carried a wink-at-the-audience tone, and were some of the series' best. "Season 7, Time for a Wedding," however, wouldn't stop winking at me and just creeped me out.

As the title implied, nuptials were in store for one of the bros, and Sam was the unlucky groom. He married once-interesting character Becky, the superfan the show's writers created to poke fun at some of Supernatural's more, uh, obsessive fans. We didn't know why Sam suddenly decided to make her day, but given the number of odd things happening around town, it was fairly obvious to everyone involved (except clueless Sam) that something wasn't right.

I'll spoil the ending right now so we can get to the crux of the problem with the episode (hint: she's blonde and Tweets a lot). Basically, a local resident turned out to be a Crossroads demon who was accepting souls in exchange for making people's wildest dreams come true. Except the guy had discovered a loophole to negate the 10-year period before the soul could be transferred, so those who invested in the deal got screwed faster than a nude Jared Padalecki or Jensen Ackles at an all-female Supernatural convention. It was a weak nod at the economic situation the country has found itself in, the result of banks handing out credit cards to anyone with a pulse only to have them in their pocket for the rest of their lives.

Okay, now that we got that out of the way we can talk about just how awful Becky is. We first met Becky in "Sympathy for the Devil," the first episode of Season 5, and it worked well. She was a way for Kripke to have a laugh at the kind of fans who paid his bills and made Supernatural one of the biggest cult hits on network television. Becky was funny because she was used so sparingly, her one-joke behavior lasting for only a few minutes of screen time. But on Friday, OH MY GOSH it was non-stop Becky, until my ears were bleeding and my eyes were begging to be scooped out with spoons.

I know I'm not alone in wishing Becky would die a cruel, painful, and slow death, preferably while watching Sam get it on with any of the starlets who have guest-starred on the show. Make that chick cry her giant eyes out until she shrivels up into a piece of Becky jerky. And to see Sam, even a "roofied" one, loving her was just horrible to watch. "Season 7, Time for a Wedding" was like one of those Saturday Night Live skits that doesn't know when to stop. And just so it's clear, I have no issues with the actress who plays Becky, Emily Perkins; she's just doing her job. This one is all on the writers.

(Note: I know some of you enjoyed this episode quite a bit, which I think largely depends on how much Becky you can handle. If you like the character, the episode was probably a hoot. Me, I can't stand her.)

Slightly less offensive was Dean's new partner Garth, played by DJ Qualls (Road Trip, Delta Farce, Breaking Bad), who was seemingly thrown into the episode just to give Dean's side of things a nearly equal level goofiness. Garth wasn't the coolest of cats or the most effective of hunters and could have been a welcome addition to the show if he'd been used to do more than make Dean's storyline as ludicrous as Sam's Misery-style marriage.

I love silly episodes of Supernatural more than most people (heck, remember how I loved that one from earlier this season with Charisma Carpenter and James Marsters?), but "Season 7, Time for a Wedding" failed to work on any level for me. I'll even go so far as to name it one of the worst episodes of the season and maybe the whole series. Yikes!

– Crowley to Becky: "I'm sure you have a wonderful personality, dear." No she does not! Snap your fingers and turn her into a dung beetle, Crowley!

– So Guy's intern, the dude who looked like a pro-wrestling superfan, was the one who sold out Guy to Crowley? Yet he was killing people for Guy? That makes no sense.

– There was a lot of potential to the story of Becky's high school reunion, but it never went where I'd hoped it would.

– Okay, the wedding cake exploding in the credits was awesome. And some of the Dean and Sam reaction stuff was funny, but for the most part, not the best outing for the show.

– Question: What devious ways can you think of to kill off Becky?

Supernatural Season 7 Power Rankings
Oy. Let's just pretend this episode never happened.

1. "Shut Up, Dr. Phil" (Episode 5)
A pair of witches needed some couples counseling in a gory fun-fest that guest-starred Charisma Carpenter and James Marsters.

2. "The Mentalists" (Episode 7)
More standalone fun as the brothers investigated murders in a town full of psychics.

3. "Meet the New Boss" (Episode 1)
Castiel got all righteous on those who didn't respect The Good Word, and it was great.

4. "Slash Fiction" (Episode 6)
Two Leviathans disguised themselves as Sam and Dean and took off on a cross-country shootin' spree!

5. "Hell, Cruel World" (Episode 2)
The Leviathans set up a buffet at a hospital after spreading into the water supply.

6. "The Girl Next Door" (Episode 3)
Via flashback, we saw Sam's first kiss... with a monster! Then Dean killed her.

7. "Defending Your Life" (Episode 4)
Dean went on trial before Osiris because of the guilt he carries. Jo came back to blow him up!

8. "Season 7, Time for a Wedding" (Episode 8)
Too. Much. Becky. Larson.

Follow writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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