Survivor: You Never See It Coming

Oh man do I love you this season, Survivor. I know there will be an episode soon where someone I really like gets voted off and I will shriek at the TV and be very upset. But right now? Man, everyone I dislike is going away. Erik, gone. The evil Laura, out. And now John. Hah, smug dumb little arrogant John. That was the saddest/funniest thing ever last night, watching his face fall in confusion and dismay as he slowly realized what was going on. He got classically hoodwinked, was tricked into making the really dumb decision of trusting Russell. And really, John wouldn't have been done in last night had Russell not blabbed about his damn immunity idol. So I guess it wasn't really John's fault that he got sent home. He was just yet another unfortunate victim in Russell's war for the win.

How long can that campaign last? I'm intrigued by the "Scenes from the next..." in which it looks like Mick finally catches on that, hey, Russell might not have his well-being chief in mind. I mean, Russell has been playing a brilliant game so far, but maybe it's too brilliant? Eventually someone, and hopefully someone persuasive, is going to figure out that, so far, what Russell says is what goes. And that's not really a good person to have around as the tribe gets whiddled down to smaller and smaller size. I just wonder if Russell has maybe stuck his neck out a little too far. What he really should have been focused on doing was making other players think that getting certain people voted off was their idea, that way they wouldn't think of Russell as this big powerful Oz-like wizard who must one day be destroyed, which they kind of do now. I know that everyone's scared that he might have another immunity idol, which of course he does, but if someone were to stage a revolution that was quiet and deadly enough, he wouldn't see it coming to use the darn talismanl. And then he'd be gone. Dead and gone.

Trouble is, everyone else is so bumbling about lying and getting in Russell's face that the minute they try to assert any sort of authority, he just has them voted off. I'll bet you that next week he goes for the shambling shambles that is Shambo, now that she's been burned and is no longer an asset to the few, the proud, the Foa Foa. I'd guess that the rest of Russell's plan involves going easily down the rest of the Galu line, thus saving his main scheming energy before he has to focus the full brunt of it on his remaining original tribemates. If someone like Mick just says "Hey Monica, hey Dave, hey Brett let's get rid of your worst enemy," I'd imagine they'd listen. Especially now that no one knows how Shambo's gonna go. If she waddles back to Galu, then it's a four-four Mexican stand-off and everyone's screwed. But of course if Shambo stays loyal to the yellows, which she likely won't, then it's easy peasy. Who would have guessed at the beginning of this game that the Shambo-factor would become such a big part of it?? Hilarious.

Now let's talk about Brett. Not just because he has wonderful chestnut hair and a clean-cut smile and is the mud-covered captain of my heart. But because... um, who the hell is Brett? The dude has been playing the quiet game really hard all season. Or at least that's how it's edited. I mean, in two pivotal votes of the game—Erik and John—the kid has flipped and voted for his teammates. So is he just easily cowed into doing what someone else tells him? Or is he playing a smart game of perpetual defense? I'm curious to see if he ever stands up and makes his move or if he's just hoping no one will notice him until it's too late. Something tells me it's the latter. Which, you know, can work well. Just look at Tina Wesson. But it can also just make you standard cannon fodder. Lemme just say that if Brett somehow, by some miracle, manages to sneak his way into the finals and, by virtue of his never really pissing anyone off as far as I can tell, wins the game by vote of the jury? I will dance a happy hilarious dance. It would be such a funny, perfectly anti-climactic ending to this twisty-turny season. In the end the winner is... oh, the hot wallflower. The g.d. T-shirt designer. I would love that.

Though, really, despite Brett's physical charms, my loyalties still lie almost entirely with Foa Foa. I'd love to see Russell go because it would be shocking and teriffic, but the other three yellows I want to see make it to the final three. Other than Brett, I'd love for Natalie to win. How awesome did she do in that log-holding (heh) competition last night? The girl is tenacious and wonderful. And, sigh, I guess that's a reason to keep Russell around. He said he'd take her to the final two, and I kind of trust his word on that one at least. So I don't know! I'm so torn.

My Ideal "Foa Foa Foa-eva" Ending:

8) Monica, 7) Dave, 6) Shambo, 5) Brett, 4) Jaison, 3) Mick, 2) Russell, 1) Natalie

My Ideal "Holy Sh!t That's Hilarious" Ending:

8) Russell, 7) Mick, 6) Dave, 5) Jaison, 4) Shambo, 3) Monica, 2) Natalie, 1) Brett