SYTYCD, Futurama, and Louie

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What to watch on Thursday, July 14.

If you're sitting behind the television, you're doing it wrong. Unless you're trying to creep out your family—then you're doing it right. But while you're back there, please clean up the dust bunnies. It's hard to watch television programs when we all have the sneezles!

8pm, Fox
So You Think You Can Dance
How heartbreaking were Chris and Ashley's dismissals last week? Sure, it was probably their time, but they looked so devastated! And it's no wonder—more than any other reality competition, making the top ten of SYTYCD is pretty crucial: Only the top ten go on tour, and often they'll show up as All-Stars or even choreographers (hi, Travis Wall!) in later seasons. Anyway, tune in for tonight's results show in which the last two pre-Top 10 dancers will get the boot. Sorry guys! But good news for us: The Top 10 is always the best part of this competition. Yay, us!

9pm, USA
Burn Notice
I don't know about you guys, but I wear like three pairs of sunglasses to watch Burn Notice—it's THAT cool. So many blue skies and white blazers and people tipping down their sunglasses and insulting each other and then going, "I NOTICED you got BURNT." Okay, I haven't seen EVERY episode, so it's possible that other stuff happens, too. In tonight's episode, Barry's brother gets framed for being an internet cyber hacker and the team must go find the ACTUAL cyber hacker-jerk in order to get Barry's brother off the hook.

10pm, Comedy Central
Futurama
In tonight's brand-new episode of Futurama, Bender angers the robot mafia and must go into hiding. All right, look, I know this is a cartoon show and it's meant to be funny, but there is NOTHING funny about the robot mafia, you guys. I'm very worried about them, ALWAYS. I don't want to boop-bip-beep with the fishes. (Robot humor.) (I'm still scared!)

10:30pm, FX
Louie
Attention fans of Louis C.K. (everyone?) who are also fans of Joan Rivers (a lucky few): Tonight Joan appears as herself and has a meaningful conversation about comedy with Louie after he bombs in Atlantic City. I don't mean to be bossy, but DVR this episode a million times just to be safe.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 11pm, Showtime
Green Room with Paul Provenza
Whoops, I might just be in a standup-comedy mood, because now I want to watch THIS thing too. It's the season premiere of Paul Provenza's all-star comedy jubilee (or whatever) and it features the great Garry Shandling, the great Judd Apatow, the great Marc Maron, and Bo Burnham. Comedy: It's not just for sad people. (What?)


PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...

Wipeout, 8 p.m., ABC
4th & Forever, SEASON 1 FINALE, 9 p.m., Current
Big Brother, 9 p.m., CBS
Expedition Impossible, 9 p.m., ABC
Selling New York, 9 p.m., HGTV
Love Bites, 10 p.m., NBC
Nightmare Next Door, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
NY Ink, 10 p.m., TLC
Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo
Rookie Blue,10 p.m., ABC
Suits, 10 p.m., USA
True Life, 10 & 11 p.m., MTV
Wilfred, 10 p.m., FX
Ugly Americans, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Childrens Hospital, MIDSEASON FINALE, 12 a.m., Cartoon Network

LATE-NITE PICKS:

Bob Saget on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Kyra Sedgwick on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Zooey Deschanel on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What are you watching tonight?

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