Teen Wolf "Chaos Rising" Review: Random Access Memories (PHOTO RECAP)

Teen Wolf S03E02: "Chaos Rising"


I seen a rainbow yesterday,
But too many storms have come and gone,
Leaving a trace of not one God-given ray.

—Left Eye, "Waterfalls"

The only thing worse than bad times are bad times that immediately follow good times. You know? It's like one minute you're a carefree teenager backpacking around France or doing one-armed pull-ups while reading Jack London novels and then suddenly you're discovering corpses in broom closets or getting beaten nearly to death by a moon-crazed zamboni driver in an abandoned bank vault. Or to put it another way, sometimes you're just a horny teen who wants to get cray-nasty in a wine cellar with your best friend from preschool and then suddenly you're getting terrorized by a poltergeist and sucked out a storm window. Or to put it another way, sometimes you're taking your shirt off in front of four friendly hunks in the back of a veterinarian's office and then suddenly the hunks are drowning you in ice water. We have all been here before, these things happen to the best of us. But all of these "storms" would be easier to weather if we hadn't just "seen a rainbow yesterday." As the epic song-poem above suggests, the intermittent presence of good times often just serves to make the bad times more overwhelming. (Later on Left Eye also talks about "tootin' caine" but that part is not as relevant to this episode of Teen Wolf.)

Uh, there is A LOT to discuss about "Chaos Rising," only the second episode from Teen Wolf's new season, but one that felt straight-up packed with story and info. Like if information came in the form of Chicken McNuggets, the writers just threw a 40-piece right in our faces! There is a second high school in Beacon Hills? One of the twins prefers menfolk? Derek has a loft? Just those three things alone are a lot to chew on, but then there's the complicated heist double-cross trap plotline, werewolf mind-melding, a new twist in the Hale Family saga, plus anything and everything to do with Isaac MORE LIKE SIGHsaac. (Sorry.)

Okay let's do this:

After a quick and weird interlude in Allison's car in which she and Lydia drew on their new arm wounds with mascara pencils (I think?) the REAL action began at a rando house party where some blonde girl was telling her amazing friend that she wanted to hop on the nearest D and STAT.

As it turned out, these were students from the OTHER Beacon Hills high school (which, what?) and the blonde girl was an old childhood friend of Stiles' and most importantly his D was the D she wanted to jump on because it was her birthday and she has good taste let's be honest. It's about time this show stopped pretending Stiles is ladyparts-kryptonite! He is the opposite basically!

Anyway, Stiles seemed pretty cool with the idea even though TEENS AREN'T READY TO DO SEX. That is just my opinion but seriously teens, don't do sex until you are at least 40 and definitely not in musty old wine cellars. 

This was a funny part: The blonde girl sent Stiles up to find condoms in her older brother's bathroom but they ended up being size XXL and Stiles looked super panicked about it. Quick question can the older brother please be a character in the future just wondering.

Then Allison rang the doorbell all frowned-up and showed Scott her arm wound that a sweaty, out-of-breath lady in sweatpants had pressed into her arm earlier. Scott was flummoxed (obviously) and the whole thing was made even more awkward by all the tiny broken hearts fluttering around everybody's heads. Guys, go grab a coffee or something jeez.

Meanwhile the horny blonde lady was alone in the wine cellar and all the bottles started flying out and attacking her! It made me cringe when she stepped on broken glass but also so much wine was wasted! That was like two trips to Costco's worth of wine! And there didn't seem to be anyone else in the cellar, so in my opinion there was definitely some poltergeist junk going down. To top it all off, someone or something grabbed her and spirited her out the window!

Sorry horny lady! The interesting thing was that when Stiles came back downstairs he found her shoes, but no spilled wine or broken glass. What did it meaaaaaan? 

Oh, here we go: Derek's new pad!

So yeah, he's no longer living at the burnt-down house nor in the abandoned subway station. In my opinion this high-rise loft is a bit of an upgrade. But then again I might've just been distracted by how all that heavenly golden light landed on Isaac. 

(Does Isaac LIVE with Derek? Remember when Isaac's dad was murdered by a lizard and then the lizard trashed Isaac's house which was a terrible house to begin with but was directly across the street from Jackson's mansion? But my main question is does Isaac live with Derek now? Do they go to farmers markets together?)  

Oh look, Derek and Isaac had a visitor, can you guess who it was?

Peter's back, everybody! I like this guy, he's a funny jerk. Also sometimes he turns into a terrible CGI cartoon and tears up a Blockbuster Video but it hasn't happened in a while. But in case you were wondering Peter is definitely still a werewolf because he busted out his claws and glowy eyes and also was able to read Isaac's memories by jabbing a pinkie-nail into Isaac's spine.

The reason for this was because Isaac had been held captive by the Alpha Pack before escaping just before the season premiere, BUT he had blocked out all those memories and they need to somehow retrieve them in order to find Erica and Boyd. 

Unfortunately Peter could only make out shouting and fogginess. Knowing Peter there was a chance he arrived to the loft super stoned, but also maybe his powers weren't strong enough. Oh well. 

Meanwhile at school, Derek had swung by to take a look at the ladies' wounds. He didn't know what it meant and more importantly he seemed really annoyed at Allison for all the hateration and holleration she'd brought to his dancery last season.

I did really like this moment when she was like, "Yo, you murdered my mom" and he was all, "Actually YOU GUYS did that, I merely turned her into a fabulous she-beast and she was a self-hater." Because Mrs. Argent didn't HAVE TO commit suicide! Her dumb upbringing compelled her to do that, a point that Allison has probably come to realize the more she's gotten to know more of the good-hearted hunky werewolves in her town.

Okay and so we also got to be reunited with some classic characters for whom there wasn't any time in the season premiere! Like, for example, this guy:

I guess he teaches Business Economics now. Still has a very sad and serious drug problem, however. Guys, I think Coach has been tootin' caine again.

Also, we got to see Danny again! Hey Danny, how was your summer? Also, who is the kid with the hungry eyes sitting beside you?

Speaking of hungry eyes:

Lydia apparently has A+ gaydar and immediately pegged one of the werewolf twunks as being on Danny's team. But it didn't really matter what orientation these guys were, they both had mad game. Just be careful Danny and Lydia, they are into some freaky stuff, bedroom-wise!

So then Allison decided to take her bruise-investigation to the next level!

I should've KNOWN that Allison pluralizes with apostrophes. I just should've known. (BTW are any of you maintaining Tumblrs devoted to fake search engines from TV shows, because "QuikLookuP" made me LOL so much.) 

Okay, just wanted to point out some things from Allison's internet investigation into "Beacon Hills business logo's [sic]".  First of all "Results: 0". Secondly, "Beacon Postal Service"? Is Beacon Hills somehow OUTSIDE of the United States and has its own postal service? Also, "NOW". Also, "Ancient Symbols." Are those stores in the Beacon Hills mall? And do you think The Beacon truly is a "grand hotel"? I mean, get real.

Meanwhile all the hunks gathered in the back of the veterinarian's office to peer pressure Isaac into drowning himself in ice cold water in order to retrieve more memories from his broken brain. It was a pretty serious endeavor so of course Stiles was joshing around all kinds.

Also: "Medicine for dogs."

I forget what happened next. Somebody drown me in ice water to make me remember! Oh right, it was this:


I love it when footage comes pre-captioned:

...Because SOMEBODY'S been working out.

So, uh, anyway. 

Just, uh, just a normal scene of Isaac being tortured.

Did any of you catch this moment:

During his near-death trance convulsions Isaac grabbed Scott's hand for comfort! Ouch my heart. 

So during his half-naked ice bath memory-jogging ceremony, Isaac was able to recall certain details about where Erica and Boyd were being kept. In an abandoned bank vault! Unfortunately he recalled one more detail that Stiles had to relay back to him once he'd broken his trance: Erica was D-E-D dead. Oh no!

So then the episode turned into a heist movie, complete with our heroes bent over a huge schematic and drawing a plan of attack in red Sharpie while a charismatic jerk sat off to the side trash talking them.

The part that made me laugh was that they decided to replicate a recent bank robbery but with one added improvement: Derek would simply punch a hole in the vault wall and enter it that way. When Stiles expressed skepticism about this particular aspect of the plan, Derek punched Stiles' hand all hard and I guess proved his point that bruising the palm of a teen boy's hand is pretty much the same as punching through 12 inches of concrete and marble.

The episode took a clever turn, however, when Allison stumbled across the abandoned bank first (just from running a QuikLookuP search of local logo's [sic]!) and arriving at the werewolf lair before anybody else did.

I don't know, I just appreciated that Allison was pro-active and clever, like the fierce independent Argent-born badass she'd evolved into last season.

Unfortunately she then proceeded to walk into that joint hugging herself all meekly, Elena Gilbert-style. Do NOT hug that person, Allison! Get out your butterfly knives and stay alert!

See what I'm saying? Within minutes, the guidance counselor tackled Allison and banished her to the janitor's closet, but not before cryptically warning her about staying put until the sounds of fighting commenced.

Sure enough, look who came a sniffin'! Luckily Allison was a quick thinker and dumped out a whole bottle of ammonia to cover up the smell of her, I don't know, Designer Impostors CkOne? Alpha Werewolf lady did not smell her, so Allison was relieved. Unfortunately she then turned on her cell phone flashlight and realized she wasn't alone in that closet:


Poor Erica! She was indeed dead. But also, poor actress who plays Erica! Girl, I hope you got paid your full day-rate, because that was definitely an inglorious way to go. Guys, I liked Erica, I'm pretty bummed she didn't have a better arc. Oh well.

So then Derek punched his way through the vault wall and then fell on the floor and then tried to play it off like he did it on purpose.


SURE, Derek. But at this point Stiles and Peter had stopped sassing each other long enough to both realize that the bank vault was made of some kind of magic mineral that blocks moonlight (?) therefore making the werewolves trapped inside unable to turn into werewolves and therefore super pent-up and angry and horny for the moon.

So yeah, that meant that Boyd and his unidentified lady companion were intentionally being denied werewolf privileges specifically so that they'd attack anyone who tried to rescue them. Which mean the whole thing was a trap!

Oh, but one more twist: That lady werewolf's identity?

She was Derek's sister! Not the one that got split in half in the pilot. Another one. One that didn't burn alive in Derek's burnt down house a long time ago. But yeah, it wasn't really a happy reunion because she was still super horny for the moon and very ticked about it.

Oh, and then the guidance counselor lady showed up and locked everybody in the vault by completing a circle of mountain ash around them:


Because now she was in league with the Alpha Pack! Except no way buster, I bet she's just being a double agent. Or maybe she and the Alpha pack have teamed up against a common enemy that still hasn't been introduced yet. Who knows!


So then Boyd was tearing Scott UP. Hey related question, are they all still on the lacrosse team. Also, allegedly Boyd had been trapped in this vault for three months, so do you think he smelled kinda bad? 

Anyway, at that point Allison came out of her janitor closet and swept away some of the mountain ash and then the evil werewolves ran out into the night.

At first Derek was mad at Allison for loosing those jerks into Beacon Hills, but in my opinion Derek was about to get murderized by his baby sister and I think he knew it also. Anyway, that didn't stop him from once again alluding to the fact that Allison's mom hadn't been super innocent when it came to her final battle with Derek (specifically the fact that Mrs. Argent was in the process of murdering Scott when Derek intervened).


And that's when Allison put Scott on the spot, insisting that he tell her EXACTLY what happened that fateful night. To us it's no big deal because we already knew what happened that night, plus it should probably only take Scott like 25 seconds TOPS to convincingly explain what had happened, but still, this episode REALLY wanted us to have a cliffhanger. Maybe next week we'll get to--

OMG Lydia had a bad dream! THE ULTIMATE CLIFFHANGER.

Haha Teen Wolf you make no sense sometimes. I mean, sure maybe this moment will make sense in hindsight, but just throwing in a screaming Lydia as the final scene and pretending like it's shocking? Don't never, ever change, Teen Wolf. I'm guessing Lydia's going to be getting into more supernatural shenanigans like last season (and it's probably tied into the missing girl) but still. I guess we'll just have to--


Whoa, another bad dream! This one gave me a start, I don't know if my heart can--


OK ENOUGH BYEEE


QUESTIONS:

... Where does Isaac live and do you think everybody should stop torturing him so much?

... Are you bummed about Erica?

... What happened to Stiles' ladyfriend and do you think she's bummed about not jumping on a D?

... Will it make you mad if everybody talks too much trash on Mrs. Argent next week?

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I am bummed about Erica, I wish that Stiles and Lydia would be together so I don't like the blonde chick...
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"I should've KNOWN that Allison pluralizes with apostrophes. I just should've known" Thank God it's not just me who notices these things.
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Sorry, accidental flag. My bad. That's what I get for getting crumbs on the iPad.
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I'm pretty sure that Jeff said we'd find out where Isaac lives in this episode in response to a fan question asking about that, so I'm pretty sure the implication of him living with Derek was meant to be a "yes, he lives with Derek." And of course everybody should stop torturing him so much, but Jeff is an evil genius and sadly that's never going to happen. But maybe that will give us more Scott/Isaac or Derek/Isaac feels! :D
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I'm so glad you're back! I missed your recaps!
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Welcome back Price
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tumblr was freaking out when isaac grabbed scott's hand anywho I wished they had done more with erica's arc but what can we do, I'm glad isaac is staying because it would be fun to see how his storyline will go Isaac is pretty much a main character in my opinion. Again I'm so glad you're back Price even if you're just recapping teen wolf episodes it makes my entire day in you doing so.
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Okay first I have to laugh at the Waterfalls bit, I was totally in the car the other day, blasting that shizz and singing along. And yest, when it comes to Left Eye's rap, I owned it like a BOSS. *sigh* I'll take a moment to mourn both Lisa and quality music. :(

These are so much fun. Always with the making me smile, man. Awesome.
-Umm, I'm guessing that Isaac lives with Derek in that fancy new Bat Cave looking loft of his. I fully support this. I'd crash there, whereas subway station and dilapidated, burnt out shack...not so much. I just feel all the fraternal and at times paternal love that Derek has for Isaac. It makes me realize that this is the first real time that we get to see the bond between a werewolf maker and their little were-pup. I like that. It's an interesting relationship to explore. Except...
STOP WITH THE TORTURING OF MY PRECIOUS ISAAC!! I just want to squeeze him, and hug him, and stroke his curls. Huh, that didn't sound as dirty in my head. Whatevs. There is some part of me that gets all worked up that the one werewolf who experience actually physical abuse throughout his childhood as a result of an abusive father is always getting tortured and what not. That aside, he's always so eager to help. Like he was legitimately skeptical of that ice bath stuff but he wanted to help. Plus he has this really subtle snark to him, that I love when he's about to do this stuff, that makes me think there is some badass in him somewhere. Isaac has been working out. I'm thinking he should have taken his jeans off too though, I mean, to quicken the process. The ice bath process I mean. Ahem. He had some great shots because he did have this angelic quality to him in the water, and I noticed the way he grabbed Scott's hand for support. That's all that kid ever needs.
- Yes and no. I loved having a really cool werechick (is that a species? That would be so bizarre! If I could shift into anything it'd be like a were-chick. Ferocious, fluffy, baby chick. I will chirp you until you submit to my will! I will scare you with my fluffy wings. I shall peck you to death. Sorry.) I loved that about her, and her relationship with Boyd, because they seemed really close which was cool. As a character though, she never really did it all that much for me. I'm more of a, "this chick is awesome or badass. Yay!" then a " wow she's bitchy." But, you know, R.I.P baby girl. You had great moments. You looked a little like Brittany Murphy. The truth is, I love Boyd and Isaac too much, so if it had to come down to which werepup had to go, well it had to be you.
- Let's see jumping on Stiles' nerd stick, or being abducted by some mysterious poltergeist who had the decency to clean up the mess it left... I'm gonna say she's super bummed about not doing the horizontal tango with Stiles. Actually, given their location it was totally going to be vertical, but...whatever. What is with me today?I don't recognize myself.
What's weird is the level of excitement I displayed over Stiles possibly getting laid. I love that kid. I was really rooting for him. I nearly doubled over in laughter at the whole condom thing. Poor Stiles always gets screwed, and by screwed I mean not screwed. It makes no sense. Personally, I would have chosen Stiles over Scott any day.
-Nope. She's somewhere, down...I mean up there, scowling at them all like a boss.

-I was so excited to see Coach and Danny. Yay! And um, one of the twunks may potentially woo Danny? Double yay! Only because that will be very,very interesting. What exactly are they up to, those Scavo boys? But I was more excited about seeing Peter. Peter is so freaking awesome! I mean, he's a total jackass, but he's my kinda jackass. Tolerable, hilarious, he makes it work for him and you can't not enjoy him when he's onscreen. He had some of the best lines, which means that wit, charm, snark,and sexiness runs in Derek's family. I love that family. I think he and Stiles sharing the screen together was just as entertaining as Stiles and Derek.
-So we still don't know anything about "the girl". Frankly, I'm a little disappointed. For reasons. So many reasons. One being, this will seriously affect my shipping Isaac with the mystery girl who rescued him. Role reversals are fun. And yes, I'l admit there was a brief moment I thought the guidance counselor was "the girl" but that isn't my fault okay? It was the dark lighting. clearly she's a double agent. I don't buy her working so closely with Werewolf Cyclops and his band of barefoot Alphas. I still don't see how a pack of Alphas is even possible, but I digress.
-I really loved Alison's coat. Oh, and I really don't understand why she didn't carry a min bow and arrow with her, or a slingshot, or a taser, or a mini-dagger, or a homemade shiv or something. She has a whole garage full of kickass weaponry and she wandered into a deathtrap unarmed.I mean could she at least have held her keys between her fingers like they teach you in defense classes?
-I love the tension between her and Derek. I really do. They should keep up with that for, like ever. because that was some quality stuff. They're like reluctant allies, and something that can't even be described as frenemies and I love it.
-I know we're supposed to be wondering, what took Stiles' former bathtime buddy. (I'm thinking the Alphas are recruiting and that they have special powers.) Or we're supposed to wonder why Bianca Lawson was slinking off with them (I'm thinking maybe there is a bigger, badder threat out there and she's working with them as a double agent to get valuable intel). Or we're supposed to wonder if Boyd will ever return to his usual silent and stoic self (after an episode of mayhem, tops.). Or we're supposed to be theorizing the many reasons the Alphas have for coming into the picture and going after Scott (they want to see if he actually has two brain cells left in there to rub together in hopes that maybe he will actually become smart). Etc, etc, but all I want to know is what the hell is Lydia? Like seriously, everything happens to her. She's susceptible to all things supernatural, so what the devil is she? She may very well be the Elena Gilbert of this show (but awesome. Don't throw things at me!) in that she's humanly but not human.
-I don't even know what to say about this Derek's sister business. Ish just got real? Yeah, that works.
-I did in fact laugh out loud at the Mary J. Blige line. Hahaha!! Awesome Price! Awesome.

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We can call the female werewolf She-wolf.
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Another adorable thing about "Isaac" has to be the fact that the actor who plays him lets his read, equally as adorable accent slip through, because he struggles with maintaining the American one. <3
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You know the thing that bummed me out the most was Stiles NOT getting any action. Poor Stiles.
If it was me, i would still be bummed out about the abundance of supernatural in my life spoiling any potential sex for me than planning bank heists.

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Right?! I was kinda bummed for him. Which is proof that I become too invested in people's happiness, because...wow. I just wanted the kid to get laid! Personally, I would have been alright with postponing some sexytimes for a bank heist. Sounds thrilling.
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haha true dat! Poor Stiles
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The couch is in, this is all I need :)
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Isaac kinda looks like Matty
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First Teen Wolf to disappoint me and I hate when they TBC just give me a complete chapter in one episode unless you leave off on something epic; Lydia at the end screaming didn't feel like it fit; I had to give it the eye roll; why are Allison, Derrick and Scott chit chatting while 2 rabid werewolves are lose on the streets, one being Derick's sister and wait for it... they are in the Alpha's lair where they could show up at any moment and Scott and Derrick are too beat up to fight back realistically and Allison is only good when she has weapons. Where were they at; is she too stupid to realize what town they are in and all the crap that has gone down? Also soon as Stiles left the girl to get condoms I knew she was in trouble, no surprises there. Did I miss something why didn't he see the shattered bottles on the floor? So a virgin was about to give him some and he doesn't bother to wait or ask around about her? I hope the next episode is sloppy and an insult to intelligence as this one.
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WHAT is going on with Isaac?? Either they totally glossed over his capture by the evil werewolves in the premiere or I was just distracted by his face (plausible), but I had no idea WTF is happening with him. I was even wondering if he was ret-conned as a psychic and that's why everyone was fingering his brain. All I know is everyone seems pretty bent on hurting him STOP IT!!! "Oh Isaac, the only way to figure out what happened to you yesterday is to repeatedly try to kill you!" Isaac needs better friends.

First that stoplight/car scene in the premiere and now the scene with Stiles and his ladyfriend- I just love how good Teen Wolf is at realistic teen relationships. This ain't no TVD where Elena will earnestly explain that she's in forever love with your brother and you'll just have to deal, no; this shit is awkward and funny and embarrassing for everyone involved. I'm officially and forever Team Teen Wolf over Team TVD. Sorry, but the comparisons just invite themselves!

Also, Derek has gotten a million times more awesome since last season. He was always too serious before, but now he tells it like it is and he don't even give a shit! And his sister being alive just made that whole Hale drama much more interesting! I am sad that Erica is dead, though, I was just expecting more to happen with her character :( RIP all the great characters we lost between seasons: Jackson, Erica, almost Boyd, Boring Derek, Alison's humongous hair, Scott's bike, the abandoned subway station, etc.
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I thought the same thing about the teen relationships...like, that's how it would actually happen. Not kids being all composed and rational, but instead panicking & saying dumb stuff & neither side having a clue what the other side is thinking lol. It's so refreshing!

And I love Derek's take-no-bullshit attitude! He's just telling everybody exactly what he thinks & makes me love him even more.
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Me too. TW is more realistic in the teen relationships. And agree with the stoplight scene. I think that all in ours teen times in one time had said "OMG I don't wanna see him/her". We have to remember that in TW they are really teens, they prepare for exams, trying to get graduate, with first love life experiences. They are not immortals.
In TVD (or others vampires shows) they are vampires with hundreds of years acting like teens and they get graduate a couple of times. I like TVD (season 4 not really) I only try to establish a great difference.
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Teen Wolf is more like BTVS in that way. We actually visibly see their growing pains. First loves, disappointments, awkwardness. . . .
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As to Issac, I imagine we will be let in on exactly what happened to him (like what led him to the bank and why he was doing that by himself since Derek told Scott and Stiles that he, Issac and Peter were looking for everyone) when after Scott involves Chris in looking for Boyd and Cora and Chris wants to know more about everything to fully suck both Argents back into the supernatural world. I won't be terribly surprised if Chris likes and somehow trusts Issac more than the others (probably that mothering instinct we have toward him)
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I don't know about mothering Isaac, but I def wouldn't mind... *ahem*... getting to know him better?

But I suspect you are totally right about Mr. Argent!! Chris sounds weird, like when a teacher tries to get you to call them by their first name. Weird.
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I'm likely older than you, so my perspective is different...
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I need to start watching this show, that dude in the ice bath is a babe!
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Haha, you should!
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Thank you Price for making us look closely to Allison's web search. LOL LOL and LOL
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... Where does Isaac live and do you think everybody should stop torturing him so much?
I'm going with Isaac squats with Derek when he actually has a roof, and sometimes he lives at his old creepy house where he got tortured until he can't stand the memories anymore. (Or until Derek has a roof again.)

... Are you bummed about Erica?
Still not sure it was her. I'm still half convinced it was Heather. Why? No clue. But then why kill Erica and stuff her in a closet and keep Boyd alive?

... What happened to Stiles' ladyfriend and do you think she's bummed about not jumping on a D?
Derek taught her some manners. And yeah. I would be pretty bummed about getting so close and failing.

... Will it make you mad if everybody talks too much trash on Mrs. Argent next week?
Nope.

I was expecting some funny captionning or commentary on ONE scene, and I didn't get it. Really? No reaction to the I-think-my-XXL-condom-is-a-quarter moment? Not even at the way Danny gives Stiles a very speculative look at that?
Hm...
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I'm going with "Isaac lives with Derek", because it seems to be fanon at this time.
He's a minor, there's been no talk about him being emancipated, he seems familiar with Derek's "lair" (at least he knows where it IS) and I just think Derek would prefer to keep his ONE remaining TRUSTWORTHY Beta close.
Just sayin'.
And I love the idea of Derek trying to be all responsible and failing, and Isaac being his sort of substitute baby brother or something, and seing sides of Derek nobody else even knows about, and... and... :D

Love that snarky!Peter is back.
Half-drowned, half-frozen Isaac looks unbelievably good - his face is so symmetrical and classically beautiful he looks like he should be the angel in some Renaissance painting.
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Snarky Peter is THE BEST! On some level I want to hate him but he's too hilarious for me not to adore the guy.
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Seconded! Definitely the Spike of TW.
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Tootin' caine is always applicable to Teen Wolf... how else do you think the werewolves get so amped up? I mean, Derek PUNCHED THROUGH A VAULT WALL. You can't do that unless you're at least 12 lines deep. In fact, I think the whole Teen Wolf "werewolf" idea is just a metaphor for a coke head, and Stiles is just the square who says "no thanks" at a party. Look how sweaty Derek's sister was in the bank vault after not having "the moon" for 3 months; girl was going through withdrawals.
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I honestly feel like people who take issue with Scott not telling Allison that her mom was gleefully murdering him (and thereby destroying any last memory of her dead mother) have absolutely zero compassion or empathy. Yet, I feel like if Scott ever just turned around and told Stiles that Stiles dead mom was evil, they'd go ballistic on Scott. Heres an idea. If it would be mean to do or say to Stiles, then its mean to do or say to Allison as well. Okay?
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I do understand why he would hesitate to tell her the truth. She lost her mom and the last think she needs to hear is that her mom was a raging psycho filled with hate.
The issue I'm taking is that in not telling her the truth he is giving her justification for her dislike towards Derek (who is my favorite character so I am biased) as well as her actions but not giving Derek's actions the proper context. Because it was her mother who broke the rules and Derek reacted to it. It was not Derek going on a rampage for the hell of it.
If Derek did save Scott from the situation without biting Victoria and Scott never told her the truth I would think he is thinking with his lower brain but I would didn't particularly care.
But this is a very different situation and I think he is doing disservice to both Derek and Allison in keeping mum. In a way he is manipulating Allison just like Gerard did.
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I was just wondering too where Isaac lives. I thought that he could live in his old house, but he's a minor, so he probably can't do that. He's probably staying with Derek as his place looks very spacious. I love the different hair styles this season.
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Glad to see you back, Price, as well as Teen Wolf!
1. Isaac probably lives outdoor somewhere. And every night he curls up as a dog in front of Scott's house, remembering the good ol' (bromance) times.
2. Was it her? Are we sure? In that cause .. yeah, a little bit sad. But Erica was never a favourite of mine, she was too arrogant.
3. Poltergeist, definetely. I'm glad to see the show thinking outside of the werewolf box for a change. Yes, that includes the Kanima.
4. Nope, Ms Argent had it coming, and besides she chose to die herself. Although I feel sorry for Allison who has to hear the truth now, after her switch of sides last season.

The opening credits were better last season, but I'm excited to see what the show has in mind for the future.
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I did notice Isaac grabbing Scott's hand! And I loved it :D
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Anyone else think a major development somewhere later in the season is going to involve ritualistic virgin sacrifice(s)? That's my guess as to why Stile's lady-friend was kidnapped. Of course, this would also put Stiles in danger!!!! :-( So hopefully I am wrong.

Also, Lydia.....what's her freaking deal?! Is she some kind of psychic/witch/alien? I hope she has a flushed out arc this season and we find out more....you know, beyond the "she's just a girl, super intelligent, immune to werewolf bites, with a penchant for communing with ghosts and performing crystal moon magic".
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Did we ever learn why she was immune? I feel like until we get major reasons why, and proof that she's no longer effected she'll be a plot device.
I think her plot is mostly just to keep her in the story though otherwise she'd be a throwaway or background character because she'd lack anything supernatural and also doesn't want to be involved with werewolf business.
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I think that they are overusing lydiaisgoingcrazy stuff. Srsly to much for me. I really want to see some development in Scott being Alpha stuff.
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The episode was better than the premier IMO. Stiles was the best again and poor Lydia is going "crazy" again.
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I swear to god Stiles had been dying during this episode, especially when he accidently dropped the xxl condom in the middle of class and the coach picked up. No why did they have to kill Erica? why not Boyd he's boring and mainly just muscle for them imo. Even though he's evil and all Peter Hale is still hilarious, especially when he shared that scene with Stiles. Great re cap as always.
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YES. That scene was so hilarious! It was sooo high school! I can totally remember a few embarrassing things I dropped in class. Mortified.
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Yea Erica's story was way more interesting, and her personality was more enjoyable because I honestly can't remember Boyd ever saying anything besides a few glares in response to Stiles and when he was trying to pick sides.
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AWE Price you're reviews are as good as the show!!!
They so have too stop torturing Issac! I love him!!
I do miss Erica she was a kick-ass woman, the only female werewolf!
I think she'll be very bummed... if she's alive. At least she has good taste! Love the scene when Stiles finds the super sized condoms!!!
No I think she needs to know the truth and stop acting so high and mighty! She went way overboard at the end of last season!! It was not Dereks fault!
So glad you're back doing the recaps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This was excellent as always. Couple of things. The pic of Stiles looking down at his crotch while holding the XXL condom was priceless and should have been included. Also, Danny totally side eyeing Stiles when he drops the condom in class was also priceless and should have been included. On twitter and facebook, I screen capped the scene with Allison and Derek in the classroom " Hello. my name is Allison Argent. You killed my mother. Prepare to die." Just because that's totally how that scene made me feel. And you know that's how Allison felt, even if unjustly. And seriously? Scott's a wuss for just not telling her. My guess is he's going to tell her and she's going to flip. Overall, this was one of my favorite episodes of all time, after a B grade for episode 1.
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I never liked Victoria. She is right there with Gerard and Kate for me. And I think it was a bit douchy of Scott not telling Allison that Derek was saving his life when Victoria got bitten because she was in the process of slowly killing him. He may not have found a right time but still ....
Derek and Stiles were in top form in this episode. So much sass and sarcasm. I need more scenes like that. And also more scenes where Derek communicates with Stiles purely by the power of his eyebrows.
The opening scene with Isaac and Derek and Peter was hilarious. We don't like you! LOL
I think the point of Derek hitting Stiles hand and Stiles accepting Derek can punch his way through teh wall was about gaining enough momentum in limited space to have the bnecessary strenght. And it turned out Derek is Bruce Lee
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This review was great I was laughing so hard, many good valid points, even down to the Elana Gilbert thing.

Anyways, feeling neutral on Erica, barely remembered her. They can talk trash about Allison's mom, but just tell her already what happened. I was said Stiles and his lady friend didn't get to have some fun. It was super creepy though that there were no broken glass pieces on the floor when Stiles returned. Who knows where Isaac lives, he had way too much scream time for someone who's name isn't even in the opening credits (you know with the random motion like stills of characters).
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Oh and I love TLC, thanks for that. I know her whole part to Waterfalls. 80's baby's should know and love TLC
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Price this is a hilarious article. I was laughing the entire way through. Specifically the Mary J Blige reference and the "Pluralize with Apostrophes". Too funny. Great article pointing out all of the weird/stupidness of Teen Wolf without being elitist and condescending.
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OK.... Love, love, love that Peter is back he is hilarious. I love Isaac and assume he is living with Derek and they all really need to stop hurting that dear boy. I am a little worried and don't know if I like the whole little sister thing, they better have a damn good reason for her being AWOL for the last like 6 years, though I am curious to see what Peter has to say. Could care less about Mrs. Argent I was way to distracted by the awesome hotness that is Christopher Argent joining the little team. I do agree that Allison needs to go back to being more of a badass, just preferably one with a brain, like why the hell would she go there unarmed. I feel bad for the loss of Erica it seems so random, the writers were like, well we can't have 2 badass female werewolves, this show is about hot male teenage werewolves with personal issues, so they just killed her. I would have preferred Boyd to die to be honest, but whatever, I'll go with it. I sorta want that Heather chick to come back for Stile's sake. Also I love how no one seems to notice that motorcycle lady is dead. Guidance counsellor lady is a bitch but her magic circle makes me more interested in Stile's ability to create one last season. Also someone suggested something interesting to me regarding Lydia, they think she might be a banshee, don't know if that would really cover everything about here, but it would be cool to throw some more supernaturals into the mix, especially less common ones.

P.S. Still really excited Price is back, I was nervous it was just gonna be like a guest appearance, NEVER leave, you appreciate Isaac and Peter and are just all around awesome, your recaps make every episode better.
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I love Peter too. His scenes with Stiles were very great. But i felt bad when he said that he cared nothing about Erica and Boyd. Also, if Lydia is probably a banshee is really cool. A Banshee screams when they feel the death of someone near and in the promo for next episode Lydia found a dead body. Banshees are very rare supernatural creatures. I only saw this creature in an episode of the series Smallville and read of it in comics. The only thing that make no sense or not fits in that theory is the immune issue of Lydia.
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Yah that's why I sorta like the banshee idea, the only other show I've seen them in was briefly in Lost Girl
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Oh man, Chris Argent is seriously sexy. I've been mad crushing on him since season 1! Second only to Derek.
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I know right, I feel bad about it cause he is totally old enough to be my dad but damn he is hot.
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I haven't seen the episode yet. . . haven't even read the photo recap yet. . . But YAY PRICE YAY! Life has been more stressful than usual lately. . . But with the help of photo recaps, I'll pull through. :)
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I finished my season 2 rewatch...Deucalion had said someone once told him that the best way to defeat an enemy is to have someone else do it. In season 2 Gerard had said exactly that. Can't wait to find out what that means...Is Gerard the one he was referring to? Are they working together in the past or present? Or could be just a nice callback. But I'm betting on them working together then and/or now.
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that would be interesting, if Gerard blinded Deucalion he would definitely want to kill him, which would make the guidance counsellor helping Deucalion more logical, she went off to hunt down Gerard at the end of last season so maybe they teamed up to go after him, I'm pretty sure he was turning in to a kanima, and we all know how much man power it took to deal with that last season.
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That's cool they read the recaps & gave you a shout-out! Well deserved recognition for you Price. But, uh, no pressure or anything... ;) Needn't be worried though, awesome as usual!

Notes:
-Peter's eyes glowed blue when he was doing the brain suck on Isaac. What does it mean?? Also great to see Peter's wise-cracking ass back in the mix.
-Stiles' little hoppity prancing when he was going up to do the quarter bounce has been added to my list of top ten Stiles' moments.
-Poor Isaac...two episodes in & he's already been through the wringer. First everybody keeps stealing him and now he's getting far too much torture for my liking.
-I'm loving Derek. He's not taking no bull from nobody. He's telling everybody what he thinks & I love it. I also loved how protective he was of Isaac. I liked the little stand-offs between him & Allison, too- it felt real since it hasn't been that long since all of that happened so they shouldn't be all buddy-buddy.
-Also liked Allison...she was clever & taking charge, and I like the way she held her ground with Derek. I'm still on Derek's side but from Allison's point of view, she still thinks he for all intents & purposes murdered her mother so she should be resentful and mistrusting of him, and she didn't back down.
-the dog on the poster made me giggle. Also yes, "medicine for dogs".
-business logo's haha...I noticed that when she typed it. I hadn't noticed "search results: 0", that's hilarious. Wonder what the little piggy logo was for?
-"I think Coach has been tootin' caine again" made me laugh a lot.
-Was the black girl at the party the same girl who won the guest spot last year and dunked Stiles in the pool? Kinda looked like her but with short hair. And she had the same sass. I couldn't tell for sure if it was her but she was pretty popular so I could see them bringing her back for a fun little guest spot. The look on Scott's face after she walked away from him was great.

Good episode TW! Can't wait for next week!
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I wondered the same about the girl. She did look like the same girl who won the contest, and was just as sassy.
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How fun would that be if they actually did give her a return guest spot?
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I agree about Isaac. He has really had it rough. I was hoping that he would become a regular this season now that Jackson is gone. LOVE HIM!!! Scott and him have become pretty good friends. I never did like Erica and Boyd. They were such jerks after they got turned (like when Erica knocked Stiles out and put him in a dumpster. Poor Stiles!)
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I love Scott & Isaac's friendship. Isaac needs that so much, and his brother relationship with Derek. I like Boyd, but didn't care for Erica at first, she was so stereotypical...but she grew on me towards the end when they started giving her more depth.
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Just wanna apologise to Price that I was so happy he was back I didn't realise it was cus his pilot didn't get picked up. Don't give up cus you're awesome!

Anyways...back to the episode!
This --> "I should've KNOWN that Allison pluralizes with apostrophes. I just should've known." LMAO during the ep and reading this.

Anyone else noticed how the light hit Issac that made his lashes ginormously long?

No Elena-esque self hugs pls!

& I watched "The First Time" just cus Dylan O'Brien was in it and I was like "He and Ms Clip-Clop-Clip-Clop have fantastic chemistry!" Only to realise they're (are? were?) dating! Probably no chance for Britt Robertson to be brought on TW now that she's got a new pilot for "Under the Dome" right? Too bad, I guess.

Lastly, I heart Price's recaps soooo much!
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Oh crap yah, I totally wasn't thinking about Price's pilot when I was dancing around all happy, that majorly sucks.
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>Well, Lydia was seen talking to one of the twins in the library. Maybe her scream has something to do with fisting? Maybe it took her a while to feel it. I'm just saying.

Bwah! And now there's Stiles' newfound interest in fisting with Derek around. This was a bad season for him to pick up that kink. Stay away from the twins!
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Loved the recap forgot to mention that the photo of Isaac leanimg on the bath captioned "i miss digging graves" i laughed so hard at that. Just the look on his face matched the xaption so much
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Agreed I laughed so hard when I saw that.
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I loved the episode...until it flew by and I realized that NOTHING had gotten resolved. The missing girl was still missing. Boyd and Cora (?) had escaped. Huge bombshell about the guidance counselor. Scott couldn't even bring himself to SPEAK. AND then Lydia just starts screaming out of nowhere! Way to leave us hanging! I just love Teen Wolf so so much! But I need at least some kind of resolution ASAP.

BTW, I do NOT miss Erica or feel bad for her. I found her to be annoying. And I feel bad that Stiles couldn't lose his virginity. I think he's probably the last virgin in town lol
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Questions:
1. I hope Isaac lives at Dereks, a whole Odd Couple situation.
2. I full on screamed al la Lydia style when they showed Ericas body. So i knew that Allison was gonna find her because she was shining her light sround a small and there was bound to be a dead body in one corner. Anywho, really sad I liked her sassy n she liked Stiles n is now dead which leads me to...
3. ... What happened to Stiles' ladyfriend????!!!!!!?!?!?!!?! Poor Stiles cant catch a break.
4. No, I cant wait I hope they show the scene so that i can see the look on Allisons face when she finds out her mum tried to kill her boyfriend and was trying to make it look like an accident.

All in all a much better episode than last week, i think because they were mostly just goving us so much info n it all went so fast, this week seemed a bit paced, or whatever paced is for TW.
Really loved the Werewolf Heist!!! Loved the Stiles n Peter moments and pretty much just Stiles in this episode he was awesome (as usual).

Cant wait til next week!
Ps. What the hell is goimg on with Lydia?
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Well, Lydia was seen talking to one of the twins in the library. Maybe her scream has something to do with fisting? Maybe it took her a while to feel it. I'm just saying.
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i gave your comment a thumbs up (Lydia took the whole thing)

Fist bumps all round for this thread
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How dare they kill Off Erica pissed. Off. All I ever asked were to leave her, Derek, and Isaac alone but noooooooo. WHAT THE HELL IS A GREENBERG
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hahaha Greenberg, I wanna actually see that kid, I think it would be hilarious though if they never actually show him, or on graduation he finally says his name isn't Greenberg, it is just so random. Love coach, and super excited to see Danny again.
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I agree it will be better if they never show him.
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stiles' ladyfriend got kidnap by fan girls
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I am sad about Erica. Another hilarious recap Price!
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Also when do people who have a $150,000 suburban houses have $300,000 wine cellars?
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Her dad is cheating the IRS, everyone is apparently these days.
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Price's Teen Wolf Reviews = The only time when polishing a turd actually makes it golden.

Can we get a counter on how many times they change/make up new supernatural rules.
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What rules have changed, exactly? There haven't been many real contradictions so much as expansions of the mythology of the show's universe.
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Ranch style houses that are build at ground level(no step up to get in the front door) and on level ground do not have basements with 10 foot ceilings and 3 foot high windows that are above ground. This would require the foundation to rise at least 4 or more feet above the ground and would require a few front door steps.

I'll think of a few more later.
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OK fine, this one has nothing to do with supernatural rules and I'm just nitpicking.
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Well, I learned something new, so thanks for that.
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The part where alison shoot and arrow from her crossbow and the on wolf catches it mid flight before it can hit her in the chest from roughly 5 feet away then later that season get hit by the same crossbow from about 50 feet way meaning if you have 10x the time to catch a crossbow arrow then you cant do it.
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Yes, but people , and I guess sense enhanced werewolves, are more attentive to what is closer to them in times of danger, than something happening farther away.
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oh and I forgot to add the neck reading cold bath memory thing. are you telling me that all those wolf athletes haven't used the schools ice baths after a game?
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Apparently not, since their metabolism recuperates real fast.
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The big one can be explained by not having enough money to continue to CGI big wolfs into all the fights but the other ones include the amount of strength and speed a wolf has. this episode would can punch through 12" of reinforced wall but last season they couldn't break a 1" hallow steel pipe that I could bend if i had the right leverage. Also can they run 60 mph after bikes and then only go 5 mph when running away from humans?
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A couple of these you have a valid point on (such as the arrow one), but some of them come down to whether the wolf is an alpha or a beta. I can't ring in on the pipe (I can't even remember what scene you're referring to, so I don't want to try to argue about something I can't conjure up in my memory), but in terms of the wolves chasing down the motorcycle versus Erica and Boyd escaping the Argents, that definitely has to do with their 1) experience with their powers and 2) again, whether alphas or betas.

As far as the ice baths go, I have no idea. But maybe not? My high school rarely utilized them.

For the house, it could be situated on a hill. My house is a ranch-style and has a walk-out basement because of the way the land is around it. (I have no idea if this is relevant to what you're saying, mostly because, again, not in my realm of expertise.)

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Hollow steel pipes are stronger than solid steel pipes. Also, no you couldn't, because it's hollow. It would crimp. You'd need a pipe bender. But none of that really has any comparison to a 12" rock wall of unknown makeup. Comparing the flexural strength of a pipe to the brittle strength of a stone is like saying there's no way that guy can drink that much because he can't even stay awake 20 hours. Are they both measures of strength? Eh. Sort of, but not in the same way.

I can't really say anything about the running speed, because I don't remember seeing the ass-fisting alpha twins run from humans.

If you're going to try to apply science to the show, you need use only examples where all variables are kept constant except one, because that's the scientific method. If you've not done that, you're just making shit up like you claim they are.
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Well, entering an identical mass through the anus to form a mega werewolf seems a little stretched for me, Alpha twins or not.I mean where does he go, is there a sack he slides in? Now if they where female twins, one can say that the twin hid in some placental sack, a kind of momentary return to the womb, so to speak. As for why twins, it may be related to their reproductive celullar division, a reversal of.
Okay, let us say I would have been more convinced if the twins looked liked Shwarzie and De Vito in the same titled movie.
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Is it really inconsistent or is it a power unique to Alpha twins?
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One inconsistency is precisely the fisting thing. I know I mention it a lot, but it is by far one of the most hilarious ideas I saw these past couple of months.
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maybe his doing multivariate analysis? idk
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You're wrong. Take a manufacturing processes class and get back to me. It's just physics. Hollow pipes are stronger for the same reason the Romans built with arches. If you don't have the background to understand this I'm not going to bother trying to reaon with you.
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Solid steal pipes are stronger if you use the same material, the only time hollow pipes are considered stronger are if you compare strengthen stainless steel to rebar which is made of random junk steel becasue its generally used internally in buildings and is more for cheap structural support than longevity and strength. That being said if the same metal us used a 1" solid bar is much stronger than a 1" hollow pipe(like the standing supports the wolfs where chained to in the subway car). Measure of strengths works the same on every material. It take X pounds of pressure to crimp object A and it takes Y pounds of pressure to break object B. compare X to Y. Do you measure pressure in beers instead of pounds when you change objects? Now to bank vault walls. Unless its the crappiest bank in the world(it might be it was broken into and then shutdown) the weakest material used to make the vault would be CMU+rebar+poured concrete, the most common commercial building material and the weakest, so it would have a piece of 5/8" rebar every 8" on center. Now if its the crappiest bank vault in the world it would be low grade concrete poured in a frame with no support and then the frame would be removed leaving only concrete. If this technique is used the first earthquake would knock over the building. And if its so easier to break than a 1" hollow pipe why didn't the wolfs inside break out.

The rule for running is: twins fast every other wolf slow. got it.
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Poor Erica. :( She was super hot. Also...some of the photo captions had me literally lol'ing.
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Poor Stiles never gets a break... or his shirt off goddamn it!
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Hilarious article as usual, Price. I admit that I cracked up laughing reading this while in class and everyone was staring at me like I was crazy. Doesn't matter since reading your recaps always puts a smile on my face. :)
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Quick question can the older brother please be a character in the future just wondering

Finstock's "Congratulations" was the best line in the show, and this was the best line in the recap!
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I do wish everyone would stop torturing Isaac and let him give Scott more puppy dog eyes. And I feel like he probably is living with Derek. And Sad stuff about Erica, but I don't care about Stiles ladyfriend all that much. I mean this was a party at HER house and they went to the wine cellar? Not a bathroom, or a bedroom, or at least a blanket. She wasn't even drunk, or maybe she was?
I'm more sad over the badass chick that saved Isaac but died.
And that woman seriously needs a pedicure, like c'mon when my dogs nails start making too much nose when he walks I know it means he needs a nail clipping.
Oh and the coach insulting Greenberg is pretty much the best.
Also Bianca Lawson, I don't care what side she's on but do not let her die...at least this season.
Not upset if everyone talks trash on Mrs Argent, especially if we get to see Mr. Argent being awesome, and not just a caring father which is awesome and stuff, but ya know don't waste your potential
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Fuck I tried to like your comment but accidentally flagged it my bsd
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