The Alternative World Cup Guide, Part One

Don't want to watch the World Cup? There are alternatives...

For one month, the beautiful game will dominate television but there are plenty of escape options if your idea of pleasurable viewing isn't watching grown men hoof leather spheres into each other's nets. So, especially for World Cup widows and other outcasts, here's's best-of-the-rest round up.

France vs Uruguay kicks off this Friday at 7pm on BBC1. For the disinterested, there's this instead:

On E4 at 8pm, catch the repeat of Monday's Glee. It's the hilarious funk-themed episode where Mr. Shuster decides the way to beat Vocal Adrenaline is to remind them that they lack soul. Cue much funky stuff strutting from New Direction.

Not a fan of show choir? Well then, how about a double dose of Bones on Sky One? Series five runs again again from the beginning, starting at 9pm.

If repeats don't cut it, you won't do much better than Comedy Central from 8pm. The current series of 30 Rock continues and Liz's old boyfriend Floyd (who dumped her and moved to Cleveland) is back. But he has some news that'll leave a sour taste in Lemon's mouth.

England's first game – Us vs US – is on Saturday (kick off 7.30 but coverage on ITV1 from 6.15) but there's plenty going on elsewhere.

Bear Grylls: Born Survivor continues on The Discovery Channel. This week, we go behind the scenes and meet the heroic crew who follow the loveable danger seeker into troublesome spots--usually up a mountain or into a suspicious hole.

In the mood for something a little less… sweaty? Then get naked! Or, gawp as other people strip off to save their businesses. At least that's what guru Seven Suphi tells folks to do in Virgin 1's Naked Office from 8pm. Shiver.

Fully clothed (we hope) on Sky One from 8pm are the Pineapple Dance Studio team. Yes, it's a repeat but Louie's histrionic flouncing and caterwauling has got to be worth a second look--especially since the show's now cancelled.

And finally, any Doctor Who fans worried they'd double booked by planning to watch the game won't miss out after all. This week's episode has been scheduled to clash with the pre-game build up rather than the match. Anyone determined not to watch England play the US can stick with the Time Lord and catch Doctor Who Confidential on BBC3.

On Tuesday, be sure to miss the end of Brazil vs North Korea by turning over to Living at 9pm for the Cougar Town finale double-bill. It's time for mother-smothered Travis to graduate High School. Also at 9pm, there's bloodsucker action on ITV2 with a new episode of The Vampire Diaries.

Need somewhere to settle your gaze while the rest of the world watches host nation South Africa go up against Uruguay on Wednesday evening? It's Midsomer Murders on ITV1 at 8pm. Who needs midfielder eye candy when there's a well-aged John Nettles smouldering on another channel?

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