Well, ladies and gentlemen, Howard Wolowitz has finally returned from space and his storyline has already improved. Having blasted off immediately after their wedding, Howard missed out on a proper wedding night with Bernadette who—come hell or high water or flu season—was going to have sex with her husband, dammit.
Except, well, the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, and all that plus a healthy dose of Benadryl conspired against Bernadette and her naughty nightie’s intentions. I would say that it sucked to be Howard, but I don’t think he was that disappointed to get out of sucking face with the snot monster.
However, it DID suck to be Howard for a few other reasons.
1. His mom is banging his dentist. I say good for Momma Wolowitz, but I understand Howard’s horror and his determination to find a new dentist. “I need to find a new one now that I know where his hands have been.”
2. Despite Sheldon’s best efforts, Raj’s new BFF, Stu, is here to stay. In fact, he moved in with Raj and they were just heading out for an evening at the Sound of Music singalong when Howard dropped in to say hi and bask in the glory of being an astronaut. He was very obviously hurt by his apparent replacement, especially since the Sound of Music singalong was his and Raj’s “thing.”
3. Team Sheldon/Leonard and Team Amy/Penny were too caught up in their glorious Battle of the Sexes to do any more than scream at Howard to go away when he swung by their building looking for love.
He finally ended up a diner, alone, where a waitress recognized him from TV and offered him free cheesecake... but only if he’d stop talking. Oh well, CHEESECAKE!
So let’s talk about this Battle of the Sexes and how it was amazing and easily the most fun I’ve had watching The Big Bang Theory in a good while. What started out as a simple game of Pictionary exploded when Amy and Penny quickly dominated and Sheldon handled his game-night inferiority as well as Sheldon handles anything. The best part of the Pictionary battle was that Sheldon wasn’t WRONG, per se, he just overthought everything. It happens to the best of us, man. Do you know how many rounds I’ve blown at my absolute favorite sport in the entire world (after hockey and marching band, of course)—bar trivia—by skipping the obvious answer in favor of the technically-correct-but-not-what-the-moderator-was-looking-for answer? It’s kind of sad. But polish vs. Polish and present the noun vs. present the adjective will never get old. Never. Grammar jokes FTW.
After losing at Pictionary, Leonard and Sheldon continued to lose at Where’s Waldo, spinning around in circles and doing long division, and wrestling. Sheldon proposed a game of Physics Fiesta, in which players answer physics questions in remedial Spanish, but Penny quickly put the kibosh on that. In turn, Sheldon rejected all bar games because he felt that Penny had a clear advantage. Amy seemed particularly disappointed by the decision to skip the wet T-shirt contest.
So who do you think won that pie eating contest?
1. One-liner of the night goes to Howard for his description of making out with a snot-infested Bernadette: “Well, that was quick and a little gross... now I know how she feels.” However, Raj wins all of the innuendo cupcakes.
2. Has Howard actually resolved the conflict between Bernadette and his mom and moving out, or has the show just not addressed it yet?
3. What does Howard’s return and Raj’s newfound friendship with Stu mean for their epic bromance? Is there trouble ahead? Probably. Will they get through it? Probably. I just hope that “probably” doesn’t come at the cost of sending Stu back to the comic shop, never to be seen regularly again. I like him.
4. I’d ask for your gross make-out stories, but I’m kind of afraid of what I might get, so let’s just agree that we’ve all been there, alright?