Was it me, or were you crying like a prom queen during last night’s episode of Biggest Loser, too? Between the awesomeness that is the Yellow Team—78 pounds in a month, without the benefit of Jillian and Bob—and the breakdowns, boom, boom, boom like dominoes from Melissa, Daris, and Ashley, it was a real hanky-soaker.
But let’s back up a minute, because the show opened with a midnight 911 call that resulted in Miggy being whisked off to the ER. The bitter old troll inside me wondered if she was faking something so she could follow her recently sent-home daughter back to the land of hard-assed Puerto Rican ladies. The more mentally balanced person in me hoped it was something serious but not life threatening. Something like, oh, I don’t know, appendicitis. We didn’t get to find out right away. What we did find out is that The Biggest Loser waits for no one. Miggy’s in the hospital, time to work out.
This week marked a month on the ranch. It was time to bring back the Blue and Yellow Teams to determine who would get to stay on the Ranch.
Both teams sort of blew the whole notion that to lose huge amounts of weight you need a fancy TV trainer and a kitchen stocked with free Jennie-O turkey right out of the water. As they exited the limo, they were all visibly thinner. Still fat, but not as.
Cherita and Victoria from the Blue Team kicked butt by losing a total of 63 pounds. Victoria dropped 39 pounds all by herself!
And then came the Yellow Team, a father/daughter super-duo who flicked those 63 pounds aside like some annoying gnat, and brought on one of Bob’s signature jaw-drops by losing 78 pounds. O’Neal lost his age—51 pounds. Not only did they win the chance to stay at the Ranch, they won immunity for the week and the opportunity to be the only vote during the elimination.
I wish the show were more specific about how much weight the contestants were lifting and how far they were running, because I want to know exactly how many pounds it took to make Melissa break down and sob. (I also really want to know how much Jillian and Bob weigh, just for comparison purposes.)
Whatever the amount that brought on the breakdown, it did lead to a nice make-up session between Melissa and Bob. She forgave him for calling her a liar when she threw the weight. He forgave her for lying about throwing the weight. Whew. Everyone loves a fresh start.
The next breakdown was brought to you by the heretofore taciturn Daris, who tearfully admitted to Jillian that he has pretty much accepted his fat funny guy role, or as he put it, “the funny guy who always goes home alone.” (I don’t mean to be cruel, but I think his hair might also have something to do with it.) Jillian, bless her amazing resting heart rate, showed her softish side by urging him to start thinking of himself as the guy who lost 51 pounds in a month rather than the fat funny guy. Then she perched on his weight bar like a gargoyle and started in with the tough love thing again.
Ashley’s breakdown came post-challenge, after the Pink Team came in last and earned themselves a 2-pound disadvantage at weigh-in (and, miracle of miracles, Michael won).
Jillian called her out on the treadmill for walking too slowly. “What has made life so painful that you are manifesting your own death?” is what she actually said. Ouch! After revealing the sad story of her father’s death in a heart-to-heart, she seemed to lose some of her emotional baggage. She must have, because she managed to drop 9 pounds at weigh-in.
Red Team came very close to falling below the yellow line, and I can’t say I wasn’t hoping for it just a little. But in the end it was John. Bummer.
There was no elimination vote because he was the sole member of the Brown Team left. So after some teary goodbyes, he went back to Florida, 63 pounds lighter.
At the reveal, he had lost another 41 for a total of 104 pounds. That’s amazing and inspiring and all, but when you start at almost 500 pounds, 100 pounds is just the beginning.
Oh, and Miggy? I’ve got to give her a shout out. The lady’s toughness boggles the mind. First she sees her daughter sent home. The she gets taken to the hospital in the middle of the night. Then she returns to the Ranch unable to do much exercise due to the emergency appendectomy she’s just had. So what does she do? She walks. Thirteen miles. The day after surgery. I mean, wow. Just, wow. And she lost five pounds. Do not count this one out.