Final four! Final four! Final four!
At the start of this week’s Biggest Loser the remaining five contestants were told there would be no Yellow Line. Whoever lost the lowest percentage of weight would be out, alliances and strategies be damned.
This blow was softened by the arrival of two former winners, who trotted out to give everyone a little pep talk. Season 7’s Helen was the oldest winner in Biggest Loser history (I love how the show constantly mentions “Biggest Loser History,” as if anyone is really keeping track) and she still looks great; she was the inspiration.
Season 4’s Eric was the cautionary tale. After losing 214 pounds, he gained back 175 of them. He’s now on the road to losing the weight a second time, an idea that makes me want to curl up with a box of Ding-Dongs and take a nice long nap.
Mike got some special attention from Helen and Eric because he still has so far to go (I believe he’s still in the 380s). “Who leaves a reality show about losing weight and is still obese?” he asked. Um, that would be the guy who stared out at 526 pounds.
But Mike seemed better after the pep talkat least until his workout with Bob, when he threw a 526-pound hissy fit and stormed out of the gym. His words were mostly bleeps, but I think “I went through makeover week and I still had to go to a fat man shop!” captures the gist of what he was feeling.
This week's challenge was a Biggest Loser favorite, and symbolic as all get-out: Each contestant had to lug a bag containing the total amount of weight they shed in 15 weeks over 15 sand dunes. At the top of each dune, they got to shed the pounds they's lost during the corresponding week. The first person to finish would win $10,000.
Daris, who was making up for his failure at last week’s challenge, dominated. He’s like some super bad-ass special-ops guy or something now. Or at least a super bad-ass special-ops guy who is also a complete sweetheart. He talks a lot about never having had a girlfriend and how he is looking forward to finding love when he returns home, and I just have to say that whoever gets to be Daris’ first girlfriend is one lucky lady. Unless all this success turns him into a cocky S.O.B, which would be a real shame.
Last Chance Workout The last chance workout was, predictably, a killer, and the sweat was flying. There were a lot of split-screen shots of the contestants working out in their first week and then doing the same exercise now. If the forty thousand then-and-now shots we've already seen had yet to drive home the contestant's huge transformation, this one did. It was pretty amazing to see how far they’ve come.
It all came down to this moment, and everyone pulled really, really big numbers. Except for Miss Sunshine, who only lost two pounds and got sent back to Minneapolis.
Which means that along with Koli, Mike, and Daris, Ashleyour pink ninja who said she was going to “sneak up on their asses” way back in Week 2is a woman of her word. You go, girl. But the real money is on Daris.
Who do you think will come out on top?