Behold, all the Charlie Sheen news that’s fit to round-up:
... In Chuck Lorre's latest vanity card rebuttal (it aired after Monday’s Mike & Molly), the Two and a Half Men creator/showrunner went on something of a metaphysical tear himself, writing, “I believe that consciousness creates the illusion of individuation...this existential misunderstanding is the prime motivating force for the neurotic compulsion to blot out consciousness...” Lorre ends with a not-so-subtle reference to his previous series, Grace Under Fire, which was shut down because of star Brett Butler’s drug addiction and erratic behavior. Read the full card here. [ChuckLorre.com]
... Sheen called into Howard Stern this morning, where the two discussed things like porn star payroll ($30,000 gets you eight visits), his strange Apocalypse Now obsession, and Goddess sleeping arrangements. [Part 1 is embedded below; here are Part 2 and Part 3]
... John Stamos may have denied it in a tweet on Friday, but E! Online is reporting that CBS head Les Moonves has asked the actor to take over for Sheen on Two and a Half Men. It’s an idea that has the endorsement of Moonves’s wife, Big Brother and The Talk host Julie Chen. [E! Online]
... Sheen dialed back the crazy last night on Piers Morgan Tonight, backpedaling on that whole “$3 million an episode, non-negotiable” number he threw out on Monday. Ha ha! Just a joke, CBS, to lighten the mood! There’s more than a little wiggle room in there. [CNN]
...And don’t forget to tune in to 20/20 tonight for an hour inside Sheen’s world, which is a world you wish you could live in: "We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary." [ABC News]
Obviously, this entire meltdown has been a field day for the internet, each soundbite ripe for graphic novelization or just sticking above a cute cat photo. Here are a few examples of the latest in Sheen meme:
... Tom the Dancing Bug turns Sheen into a comic crusader for justice.
... Sheen Family CircusFamily Circus with Sheen quotes for captions: Winning!
... If CBS pulls the plug on the show, Boom Winning Duh could raise the curtain on the third, action-movie act to Sheen’s amazing career.
... Put down your sword and go have some fun with the Charlie Sheen Soundboard.
... Poetry-producing fingertip-haver Charlie Sheen’s words...as verse.
... Your everything guide to Sheen's personal vernacular, the Charlie Sheen Glossary.
... Charlie Sheen vs. Libya's Muammar Gaddafi: Whose line is it anyway?
... And finally, On This Day is Crazy Sheen History, we revisit 20 Minutes with the President, an imagined audience with Barack Obama authored by Sheen in which the two joke around and flatter one another before discussing the very serious matter of 9/11 being an inside job.