Where taste comes to die.
Ohhh CW. When will you learn? Hopefully never, actually! Because the not-quite-big-boy network just keeps rolling out laughably ridiculous show after laughably ridiculous show. Sometimes they are good ridiculous (Gossip Girl) and sometimes they are awful ridiculous (Melrose Place). But no matter what, they're always fun to gawp at in horror. And look! The network has just revealed its new drama development slate, and there are some fantastically stupid-sounding new shows on it.
Bitches in Britches
I was considering holding this one until the end of the list, but it's just too good. Basically fashion designer and The Beautiful Life: TBL-cameo-maker Zac Posen decided he wanted to try some equestrian looks, so he cobbled together this show with some real-life TV guys so he could do just that. It concerns the horsey world of Millbrook, NY--where New York City's exurban elite go to straddle heaving wild animals for pleasure. And that title! Oh, it probably won't stick, I mean it can't stick, but I'm glad it exists just for a few brief moments. Casting Suggestion: Sarah Jessica Parker, obviously. Ha ha. Seriously, though, perhaps The OC's brown-maned filly Willa Holland. She's patrician and cruel-looking, just like horse people.
The March Sisters
Sound familiar? Well, it ought to. The March sisters were those dizzy dames who talked about womanity and hand-holding back when such things were illegal in that 1994 movie Little Women. Which was based on some sort of book or something, I think. Of course this won't be a series about smart, bookish, headstrong young ladies struggling through tough winters and boyful summers in Civil War-era Concord. Oh mercy no. This is the CW! So these March sisters will be modern-day poor girls trying to make it big on Park Avenue. Sheesh. As long as the Beth character gets scarlet fever and then later dies of TB, I'm fine. Oh, and they have to call their mom "Marmie." That is a must. Casting Suggestion: Who better to play Laurie (leading lady Jo's sexy will-they-or-won't-they boy interest) than Greek's shaggy, sensitive, soulful Andrew J. West.
Plymouth Rock
A sudsy nighttime soap about hot, horny, young pilgrims fighting to survive in stony, cold Massachusetts Bay Colony. Sounds terif, right? Well too bad. Our collective dream of a network television pilgrim sex romp will have to wait, because the damn thing is actually set in space. Spaaaaace! Which is somehow even more ridiculous than a show about pilgrims doing it. But yeah, they're a bunch of hot, horny, young astronauts searching to find a place for Earth's inhabitants to resettle. So, the title's clever, get it? I'd say that I was excited about this because Veronica Mars' Rob Thomas is behind it but a) I'd be lying if I said I ever watched Veronica Mars (I know, I know it's great... I'm Netflixing it*) and b) Rob Thomas did NOT do well with the whole 90210 reboot thing last year. So. we'll see. We'll just have to wait and see. Casting Suggestion: Every youth sex spaceship needs a slightly older but still just as hot captain. So hows about beaming up the slammin' hot Stephanie Jacobsen from Sarah Connor Chronicles? Yes, I know she's on Melrose Place right now, but, guys... that thing ain't gonna last.
Nashville
Because shows about music are hot right now, and country music is an often-ignored-by-TV facet of the music industry, the CW figures it'll kill two birds with one big ol' honkin' doggone stone by raising the barn on Nashville, a story of a young dreamer who moves to Tennessee to realize her dreams. (First mistake: Moving to Tennessee to realize her dreams.) Brad Paisley, the girl from Father of the Bride's husband who also happens to sing a few country songs, is going to write music for the show as well as occasionally appear as himself. Maybe this means Kimberly Williams can actually get some work. That'd be nice for her. So yeah, expect wide-eyed dreamer cliches and lots of pensive sing-moaning and probably some sassy country girl who works at a bar and teaches the young newbie how to roll in this turrible town. Casting Suggestion: Well, other than Ms. Williams? I think the CW'd just about cream in their Wranglers if Taylor Swift suddenly expressed interest. That's probably why they started development on the damn thing in the first place. But nah. Let's think more outside the rodeo chute and go with... oh! Lucas Till in a wig.
*OK, I'd be lying if I said I actually have Netflix.
Comments (63)
WTF!!!! I LOVE that show. Jensen Ackles is also the hottest man alive.Supernatural is the only show worth watching.I don't even like Gossip Girl.We need more shows like Supernatural!!I like The CW's Shows.thay gave to us supernatural Melrose Place and The Vampire Diaries
Wait Reaper's gone? WTF!!!! I liked that show. Just started showing it to my parents. They are liking it too. WTF!?!
I Love Supernatural and Samllville is good although I missed one season moving around and haven't caught back up. I LOVE Supernatural so much. Jensen Ackles is also the hottest man alive, I'm told my husband looks kinda like him which is so cool. I hate reality shows. Supernatural is the best show on right now.
Supernatural is the only show worth watching. I'm a girl and I don't even like all those stupid girly shows like Gossip Girl. We need more shows like Supernatural!!
Yeah look at the ridiculously brilliant shows cw has like SUPERNATURAL!!!!
After Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls ended there were almost no reasons to watch it anymore
Supernatural is the most underrated, overlooked, and non appreciated show in broadcast television. It is a whole lot better than what they have in FOX, ABC, NBC, and CBS.
I only Watch The CW Network for The Vampire Diaries, and Tom Welling is the only reason now for me ever continue, Watching Smallville: Tv Series. Everything else they air on The CW are not watched by me at all what's so ever.
LOL! Shame on CW! Respect is decreasing daily.
The CW will never get old! How horrible are these show ideas!? I mean... seriously?
LOL! This shows sound awful. I wonder if the people that think of these shows realize how awful they sound.
seriously?? what kinda shows are these?? i seriously doubt the mental capacities of cw producers... reaper was awesome!!
Man! Cw doesnt have good shows anymore...Its sad.I mean except,One tree hill, Smallville and Supernatural. Everything else is crap!
Wy don't they just bring back REAPER !!!
We lost Reaper for this? -.-
@Brilliantmistake, I'm curious, what does "the likes of noelveiga" mean, exactly? Do you just mean people who dislike his work or do I come across as some kind of "type"? For the record, I am also from Europe, maybe it's some kind of cultural thing...
Well one thing can be said about Lawson's articles, they certainly stir up controversy in the website! @sequoa84: I'm not a fan of Richard's writing yet I don't qualify for any of your statements. I live in Europe and half of the things you write about I've never heard of, the other half I hate. Connecting people's preferences to political parties, how ingeniously original :p Now to the CW issue, Supernatural is pretty much the only thing worth watching coming from there. Once it ends they might as well not show up for work next day...
I love your recaps & other writing, Richard. I only started coming to this site because of your work. Don't let the likes of noelviega change you. Now that that's out of the way, doesn't it bother you Stephanie Jacobsen has her mouth open all the time? She's pretty & I dig the accent, but the mouth thing distracted me terribly when she was on The Sarah Conner Chronicles.
They all sound awful.
I like The CW's Shows
I get that The CW only aims at teenage girls (yeah, because they are really that big of a demo that they need an entire network for themselves), but this is just ridiculous. I'm very easily addicted to the shows they produce, and the ones with showrunners behind them that actually want to make good television, are not that bad, but seriously...get some frakkin' quality!!!
Sorry, but TV in America suck period. When there is a good show, you kill it.
The CW is stupid. They have Smallville and Supernatural, but those were shows that belong to the WB and were picked up by The CW. Even the name "The CW" is stupid. The CW is so lame, it doesn't even exist in Canada. People in Canada had to start downloading Smallville episodes on the Internet when The CW started existing. Once Smallville and Supernatural ends, the network will crash. Oh and by the way, the Vampire Diaries is for morons. Any vampire shows or movies that came out recently and that everyone is apparently so crazy about are lame. Suddenly, people think that vampires are kool? Where were they from 1997 to 2003 when Buffy the Vampire Slayer was on TV? Those shows don't compare to Buffy! Buffy will always be the best vampire show of all time. The rest is a joke.moreless
Why even try? Just kill the station after Supernatural departs this season.
I don't understand The CW. This 'rich girls' genre is fine, but we don't need to see 65 versions of the same show.
Wow does ths sound like a huge pile of horse dung. But its expected, the only thing REALLY worth watching on CW is indeed Supernatural. Everything else is for chics that watch The Hills.
I can't believe the Little Women thing...my heart hurts.
I love reading Richard Lawson's articles! Keep up the good work.
cw gave to us supernatural gossip girl and The Vampire Diariesso
Meh! What a loadda crap...
CW continues to fade into obscurity with these terrible show. The only good thing as of late they've come up with is Vampire Diaries.
OMG PULS totally. The drunk aunt who sometimes produces some semblance of good advice or insight then vomits all over your shoes an hour later.
Yeah, Supernatural is the only show I can tolerate on CW. The other shows are just duplicates of themselves with different characters within a tampon filled drama of rich young people. Supernatural is at least different from the rest of their filth.
The CW is like the drunk aunt who always speaks out of turn at Thanksgiving. Every year, you kinda wish she wouldn't show up, but then you realize that at least she keeps things interesting. What I'm personally waiting for is a modern retelling of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Come on CW, don't let me down!!
The only good show nowadays on the CW is Supernatural. But as this season goes on you can see Supernatural running its due course.
The only thing good on The CW is Supernatural. The rest of those shows do sound horrible but at least the CW is taking a crack at science-fiction. Although I would change that title "Plymouth Rock" with a better one.
If Taylor Swift is casted in "Nasville",should we expect a Kanye West guest?
And sorry for the double posts, but I would also like to address a few other comments. @Goa103, I mean no disrespect, but I'm assuming when somebody dishes out critique that includes the words "stupid" and "laughable" in the press he can also take it. It's only fair. Also, you kind of do have an obligation to see every popular show on TV when you write about popular shows on TV professionally, you know? @Sequoa84 I'm sorry to hear my sense of humour is suspect. I'm not even complaining about using puns to have some fun with entertainment news. I have no problem with that. I'm complaining about the difference in execution between this and other instances of this style of writing. My specific complaints can be found below.
I agree with everyone saying:
1) Veronica Mars is one of the best shows ever.
2) The CW deserves to live until Supernatural is over!
Haha, I love the idea of hot steamy pilgrim sex!
@Richard Lawson below, I generally dislike the overtly negative nudge nudge wink wink approach the entertainment press often takes to TV reviewing. Being part of a larger trend is not really your fault, and I understand this style of writing isn't unique to you or TV.com. That said, within that style, there are ways of sounding somewhat funny and fair and I'm not seeing that here. This is presented as a list of "fantastically stupid sounding" shows, but I don't see that point being made. I barely understand what The March Sisters or Plymouth Rock are supposed to be about, let alone whether or not they are stupid. Is March Sisters "Little Women" in modern days or is it just based on some of the characters? Is "Plymouth Rock" Battlestar Galactica with even hotter actors? If so, how is that a "laughably stupid" concept for a show? I guess what I'm saying is that to pull off being cheeky, being cheeky is not enough. Information needs to be conveyed with a lot of clarity, the criticisms underneath the sarcasm need to be grounded in reality and not perceived as randomly antagonizing (why the puns at Veronica Mars and Netflix?). Fail to hit those marks and sarcasm feels like trying too hard to be funny, which is a terrible thing to transmit in one's writing, in my opinion. And sorry for the wall of text, by the way. Somebody needs to implement the ability to use paragraphs in comments, while we're nitpicking about the site.moreless
Supernatural is the ONLY show I watch on the CW. As soon as it finishes, the CW can go DIAF. Less crap clogging up our screens.
the only thing this channel is good for is watching supernatural. any night other than thursday i skip right over it
the cw died long before it even existed. just look at the crap they have on almost every day. their so desperate for ratings they show reruns of the office. i honestly couldn't care less if this channel ceased to be. it should just die like syfy (after they give eureka warehouse 13 ect to usa), cartoonless network (now known as cnreal tv), tv land and mtv.
CW sucks
The CW makes everyone feel awkward, confused, angry, and amused. Like that drunk uncle at every family cookout who cusses at the kids.
Well, looking at this, I bet the CW is starting to re think not trying to spin off Smallville. Granted, it may not have that many viewers but for the network, it's a hit. Plus, if CW had picked up Moonlight when it go cancelled on CBS, they would have not one but two vampire dramas to cash in on the age of vampire fiction.
I don't think I would notice if this station vanished. Girls having emotional problems is not something I need to watch on tv- over and over again. Sadly it makes up most of their shows. Would it kill them to have some sci-fi? At least it would serve a purpose besides selling tampons and zit juice to kids.
@ legersem: You're having a f**king laugh, aren't you?