Somewhere in the world, it's lunchtime... for my MASSIVE EGO!
Network television summer schedules are, without a doubt, the worst thing to ever happen. Well, the summerest of all summer schedules was released today, and it comes courtesy of—who else?—The CW. There's a singing show, some models, and the granddaddy of them all, a game show that's basically a high-stakes version of musical chairs.
Here are some series descriptions, followed by the schedule IF YOU DARE TO WATCH!
Oh Sit!, premieres August 15: In this game show that's a result of one CW executive asking a monkey to create a competitor to ABC's Wipeout, 12 people play adult-sized musical chairs for cash prizes. Of course Jaime Kennedy is hosting it.
The Next: Fame Is At Your Doorstep, premieres August 16: Singing competition show! This is produced by Queen Latifah, and the catch here is that the judges and mentors will show up at contestants' doorsteps and drag them off to be on the show, all the while getting a better sense of who the person is by meeting their friends and family and watching their talents as a sandwich artist at Subway. Then they sing their little hearts out "in front of America.*" (*America in this case means maybe a million viewers, tops.)
America's Next Top Model: College Edition, premieres August 24: Everyone's tenth-favorite model show returns with what I'm assuming is a competition between college campuses? This time around, viewers at home will be able to vote for who should stay and who should go, which Tyra Banks will ignore in favor of picking who she wants to win anyway.
The L.A. Complex, returns July 17: Season 2 of this Canadian Melrose Place! I've heard this is actually good, and I'll take their word for it!
Remodeled, returns July 9: You've been on pins and needles and other sharp objects wondering how Season 1 of this docu-drama that centers on model agent Paul Fisher ends ever since it was canceled! Well you'll finally get to see the thrilling conclusion this summer as The CW re-airs Season 1, including the two episodes that never aired because, frankly, the whole show was an embarrassment.
The CW's Blazing Hot Summer 2012 TV Schedule!
MONDAY, JULY 9
9:00-10:00 p.m. Remodeled (series premiere encore)
TUESDAY, JULY 17
9:00-10:00 p.m. The L.A. Complex (season two premiere)
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 15
8:00-9:00 p.m. Oh Sit! (series premiere)
THURSDAY, AUGUST 16
8:00-9:00 p.m. Oh Sit! (special original episode)
9:00-10:00 p.m. The Next: Fame Is At Your Doorstep (series premiere)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 24
8:00-9:00 p.m. America's Next Top Model: College Edition (cycle 19 premiere)
Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom