The New and Improved Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision:'s FTW vs. WTF! (March 31)

Behold! We now present Swell-o-vision vs. Hell-o-vision 2.0, to be known henceforth as FTW vs. WTF! Extra special thanks to reader gsager1, who won our contest to re-name this weekly feature with his internet-friendly and perfectly palindromic entry.

"That's great news!" he said we contacted him to inform him of his victory. "Does this make me internet-famous?"

Not only that, but you now own a fake minority stake in! Go out and light some candy cigars with some candy $100 bills, because you're fake rich! We're very excited about the new name and we'll have new artwork to go along with it soon. But the best and worst of the week can't wait for that, so let's get to 'em!


Winston's newly discovered Broadway proclivities on New Girl

In this week's episode, the forgotten roommate showed off his pipes when he thought no one was listening. And his choice of song to belt out unabashedly? A track from the musical Wicked.

Paul Scheer's Breaking Bad GIFs Tumblr

We have no idea what's going on at this Web site from The League star that's dedicated to Internet memes based on our favorite show, but we know that we like it. Hot dogs flying out of Gus Fring's pants? Sure! Why not?

Will Ferrel hints at an Anchorman sequel on Conan

Need we say more?

British drama gets meaty with Downton Arby's

Aristocratic fast-food junkies meet disgusting meat sandwich peddlers in this battle of class spoofing the PBS hit.

Casting decisions on Bent

The verdict's still out on NBC's new show as a whole (and it's destined to be canceled), but the assembled cast has some of our favorite supporting actors: Jeffrey Tambor of Arrested Development, Jesse Plemons of Friday Night Lights, and J.B. Smoove of Curb Your Enthusiasm? Well played, NBC.

Lily Tomlin on Eastbound & Down

Not only was she unbelievably hilarious (that pill-exchange scene!), the erstwhile Mrs. Powers also provided a deceptively emotional plotline for a show not necessarily known for them. Seriously, look for Tomlin's name come Emmy time.

Stevie Nicks on American Idol

The only celebrity witchier than Steven Tyler brought her beguiling (and straight-up weird) touch to an already top-quality week of performances. From her hushed, personal whispers to her overt, lusty gazes at certain male contestants, Nicks was one unintentionally hilarious celebrity mentor we're hoping to see more of.

James Van Der Beek's self-parodying promo for his new comedy

This teaser for Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 alternates between FTW (It's JvdB making fun of himself!) and WTF (BJs? Really?) but ultimately is FTW with his tight-jean waddle off the screen.


Mob Wives’ Renee Graziano’s breakdown after news of ex-husband and father arrested

Really? A bit dramatic, I must say. Of course they are going to arrest your husband and father—did she really just forget who they are? Um, Renee, if you’re reading this, YOU ARE THE DAUGHTER OF THE REPUTED CRIME BOSS ANTHONY “TG” GRAZIANO.

Unfair salary differences for sitcom stars

Modern Family ain't what it used to be, but it's still the top-rated comedy on television and the cast makes $60,000 an episode each. Compare that to Ashton Kutcher, who is negotiating with CBS for $1,000,000 per Two and a Half Men episode, despite only being on the show for one year. That means you can get 16 Ty Burrells for cheaper than one hack-y Ashton. This only makes sense in a universe that makes no sense. Or Hollywood.

The secrets of Alcatraz stay locked up for good

The Season 1 finale of the Fox drama revealed that '63s miss their friends from 1963 (thanks for the wisdom Lucy, but why not just tell us how you got here?) and behind the big secret door in the basement of the famous jail was a tracking system for the escaped cons on a set that was one step up from Public Access. Then Rebecca got shot and "died." Fade to black. And we'll never get those answers we really wanted (Why are the prisoners coming back? What's so special about Tommy's blood that they drained him every day?) because there's no way this show is coming back for a second season. The greatest mystery about this show is why we kept watching.

Jake's failed attempt at humor for Bachelor Pad casting

Ugh. We'll only partially blame him because he almost pulled it off at the beginning, but ABC needs to provide more than a half-written script, a handicam, and two interns for its promo videos.

What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?

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